Coked-Out Florida Man Shoots At Imaginary Croatian Persecutors

More weird stuff in Florida, I swear. This time, a man, allegedly hopped up on cocaine, ran around Tuesday shooting at imaginary Croatians.

The Orlando Sentinel reported that 61-year-old Peter Bauer of Palm Coast, Florida, was arrested when he was found between two cars holding a .38-caliber pistol. Bauer was taking a nice breather following an eventful morning running around shooting wildly behind him at his imaginary Croatian persecutors.

Bauer confessed to snorting cocaine on Monday night before the Croatian fiends broke into his home, reports Flagler Live. He fled to his neighbor’s house and banged on the sliding doors wildly, giving them quite the scare. “Help me, help me,” a shirtless Bauer repeatedly screamed before retreating to his automobile hideout.

“The residents positively identified Bauer as the man who spent several minutes at their back door before running away,” deputies said in a report obtained by the paper, notes The Huffington Post.

Bauer fired four shots at nothing while running from his Eastern European pursuers, and even suffered a cut at their “hands.” Thankfully, Bauer didn’t hurt anyone, and a later police search of his home turned up a bullet hole in the wall, several picture frames smashed around the house, and “a pile of white powder with a straw lying beside it” in the bathroom.

Of all the things he could have been booked on, he was charged with attempted burglary. wtf?!

Rick James said it best: