An influential Christian pastor claims that the earth must be flat, stationary and resting on stilts, because how else could Jesus Christ have “risen” to heaven?
Michael A. Fenmore, a columnist at a mainstream publication that also covers sports, entertainment, weather and news, shocked readers with two instances of hardline bible literalism this week, as reported by Kamloops this Week.
Many Christians may not even realize that a flat Earth is at the centre of biblical cosmology.
According to a girl here, the world is flat, so I'm feeling a road trip to the edge of the Earth this summer to see the dragons; who's down?— Bobby Larsen (@_ASAPBobby) December 4, 2015
Fenmore is making it his mission to revive the flat-earth movement, urging his readers to visualise what is happening when they kneel and pray to heaven.
Throughout Scripture, God and heaven are portrayed as being “up.” This doesn’t work well on a globe.
Fenmore reminds readers that “up” can mean something completely different depending on where one is standing on a globe. The flat-earth revivalist – who is making his claim at a time when Creationism has only just lost widespread popularity in America – describes a scenario of two people praying at opposite ends of the globe.
He invokes an Australian and a Canadian, saying:
Imagine a Canadian and an Australian praying together over FaceTime or Skype, both raising their heads and hands to heaven, but facing opposite ends of the universe. This point may seem trivial, but it’s only the beginning.
‘”Up” for someone in the northern hemisphere places God at one end of the universe whereas someone gazing upward in the southern hemisphere would be looking billions of light-years in the opposite direction.’ Fenmore added.
The bible perfectly describes a flat earth! This is how they hid God by tricking you into thinking earth is round....— Tila Tequila (@AngelTilaLove) November 29, 2015
Tila Tequila, the Myspace star who descended into troubled times and increasingly sleazy bids for stardom when the social network was usurped by Facebook, is also a flat-earther. Just days ago the mother and Jesus Christ fan posted a Tweet agreeing with the flat earth statement, and suggesting that the science of Kepler and Copernicus is part of a conspiracy to “hide God”.
The call for a new flat-earth theory may seem extreme and “fringe” to many, but The Examiner reminds us that this view is also shared by Republican candidate Ben Carson, who drew criticism from eminent biologist Richards Dawkins for his beliefs.
Richard Dawkins is “a disgrace”, Carson shot back.
Rising oceans would kill hundreds of millions but Republicans find it amusing and impossible since the Earth is flat & 6K years old.— Jeff Gauvin (@JeffersonObama) December 2, 2015
Not everyone is tip-toeing about and revising their beliefs and lifestyle choices out of respect for Jesus Christ. UFC Champion Conor McGregor, who is referred to as “The Notorious”, shocked many when he envisioned himself going head to head with Christ at the Octagon… and emerging victorious.
“I’d whoop his a**.”
McGregor added that “there’s not a man alive who could beat me,” before digressing into his own rant about the semiotics of what he had just said.
[T]here’s not a man alive that can beat me. But Jesus ain’t alive so I don’t fucking know, maybe he can come back from the dead, I don’t know. I’d still whoop his ass.”
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS Conor McGregor -- Even Jesus Couldn't Beat Me! (VIDEO) https://t.co/RWj5oCtYk0— FRIDAYNIGHTHYPE (@IBELONGNOW) December 3, 2015
Some people have leapt into the debate denying that Jesus Christ ever walked the earth at all. A Nigerian transgender woman, the internet-famous blogger and activist Stephanie Rose, made waves recently when she claimed that the name “Jesus Christ” was made up by a group of publishers when they were putting together the present day edition of the bible, as reported by NAIJ.
“Jesus Christ remains the greatest scam in World history. No man/god of such personality ever lived or walked the surface of this earth! No Man /god called Jesus ever lived on the surface of this earth. The name Jesus Christ was created at the Council of Nicea at the re-edition of the present day bible! Jesus Christ is a fictional Character not a true life story.”
Rose isolated the story of Christ walking on water as particularly absurd, suggesting that that story alone is grounds to dismiss the whole notion of such a figure.
“If Jesus walked on Water is a fable (considering the outright impossibility of a human capacity walking on water as if by dry land) we can deduce that the whole Man/god story is a myth” Stephanie reasoned.
Sighting of Jesus Christ our lordt and saviour pic.twitter.com/EibfOH7quA— Baby Krampus (@BruiseAurora) December 4, 2015
Will the new flat earth movement take off? Did the man Jesus Christ walk the earth?
They say abstinence is 100% effective for birth control. Tell that to my mom— Jesus Christ (@jesus) January 22, 2015
[Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images]