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Jim Bob Duggar News: Note To Fathers Omits Care For Sexually Abused Daughters, Josh Duggar Scandal, And Sibling Incest

By Charisse Van Horn
Published on: 07:17 PST, Nov 22, 2015

Jim Bob Duggar wrote a note to fathers and posted it on his official website, Duggar Family. The note is the conservative-Christian father and politician’s attempt to teach other dads how to have a godly home. The note advises men to repent of their sins and remove any sensual content from their homes, in order to provide a Christlike example for sons. While the note seemingly alludes to the Josh Duggar scandal, it omits any reference to how a “godly” father should care for daughters who were sexually abused by an older brother. In the note, Jim Bob Duggar advises men to be spiritual leaders and coaches and lead their families in wholesome, Christian values. As the family has been embroiled deep in scandal for neglecting to notify legal authorities in a timely manner of their first child Josh Duggar’s sexual abuse of his younger siblings, as well as the failure to seek proper counseling for their victimized daughters, many have responded that Jim Bob Duggar should not be offering such advice to fathers in the first place.

Jim Bob Duggar wrote the following in his note about protecting the family.

“Start protecting your family by removing books, magazines, television, or internet that have worldly or sensual content. Replace them with good things like wholesome music, biographies of great Christians, good old-fashioned family fun and games. Love God with your whole heart and look for opportunities to serve others as a family and tell others about our Saviour.”

While Jim Bob Duggar speaks about protecting the family by removing books, magazines, television, and the Internet, he fails to mention how to protect his own children from the sexual advances of an older brother. Josh Duggar was raised in a home that espoused Christian values, yet still struggled by his own admission with sexually inappropriate thoughts and behaviors. The Josh Duggar scandal continues to mount and expand. Josh Duggar has not denied sexually molesting his sisters while some were asleep and, at times, awake. Two of his sisters have come to his defense, proclaiming to the world that though their brother sexually molested them, he isn’t a rapist, child molester, or pedophile. Most would readily agree that the act of molesting children is what makes someone a child molester. As Duggar has left a number of child victims in his wake, the public focus has been on how boys and men should deal with their sexuality or “sensual images,” yet very little has been said about empowering young girls to become strong women who overcome the negative consequences that result from sexual abuse and molestation.

Jill Dillard and Jessa Seewald spoke to Megyn Kelly of Fox News’ The Kelly File, and defended Josh Duggar over the scandal. Jill Dillard was 12-years-old when her brother sexually abused and molested her. Jessa Seewald was either 9-years-old or 10-years-old. They stated that Josh Duggar was not a pedophile or child molester, but rather a teenager who was too curious about girls. Jim Bob Duggar did not mention in his note to fathers how to handle a teenager son who is so curious about girls that he begins molesting his sisters; nor did he address how to help sexually abused daughters overcome the trauma of being sexually abused.

“I do want to speak up in his defense against people who are calling him a child molester or a pedophile or a rapist […] I’m like, that is so overboard and a lie really. In Josh’s case, he was a boy, a young boy in puberty and a little too curious about girls, and that got him into some trouble, and he made some bad choices.”

Since news of the Josh Duggar scandal went public and it was learned that Josh Duggar had an Ashley Madison account and had sexual experiences with women besides his wife, Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar released a public statement from their son on their website, Duggar Family. In the statement, Josh Duggar revealed that he had an addiction to pornography and described himself as a hypocrite.

“I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife. I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.

“I brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust.

“The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country while hiding my own personal failings.”

One might think that from Jim Bob Duggar’s note to fathers, all that is needed to stop child molestation from occurring is to remove sensual images from the home. However, despite the Duggar’s conservative-Christian family values, Josh Duggar became addicted to pornography and continued in sexual relationships outside his relationship with his wife. It becomes even more problematic to learn that Josh Duggar and his wife, Anna, saved their first kiss for their wedding. What does it matter if you save your first kiss for your wedding if you are sleeping with other people?

USA Today reported that Josh Duggar not only admitted to having an Ashley Madison account, but amended his apology statement several times. While the Duggar family continues to struggle with how they define Josh Duggar’s actions, he entered a rehab facility for “wrong choices,” according to the Washington Post. Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar released another family statement following Josh Duggar’s admittance to a long term rehab facility, where they discussed Josh Duggar’s wrong choices, bad decisions, and actions.

“As parents we are so deeply grieved by our son’s decisions and actions. His wrong choices have deeply hurt his precious wife and children and have negatively affected so many others. He has also brought great insult to the values and faith we hold dear. Yesterday Josh checked himself into a long-term treatment center. For him it will be a long journey toward wholeness and recovery.”

There was no mention of what treatment Josh Duggar’s victims, the Duggars’ daughters, have received after being sexually abused or molested.

In a Duggar Family Facebook post, Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar referred to Josh Duggar’s child molestation scandal as “bad mistakes.” Though Josh Duggar was never prosecuted for sexually molesting children due to the statute of limitations expiring by the time the incidents were revealed, some might find that molesting five children is more than a bad mistake, but indicative of predatory behavior. According to a report by Fox News, Josh Duggar is currently being sued by porn star Danica Dillon, who says she was physically and emotionally injured during sexual encounters with Duggar.

Those responding to Jim Bob Duggar’s note to fathers on social media networks aren’t jumping at the chance to follow his parenting advice. One user noted that the sensual content in the Duggar family home was actually Josh Duggar himself.

While the Duggars refer to Josh Duggar’s actions as bad mistakes, and while his sisters refer to it as a teen who was too curious about girls, it’s actually called child on child, or sibling sexual abuse. No one from the Duggar family camp has chosen to refer to the Josh Duggar scandal as sibling sexual abuse, and since he has admitted to sexually molesting four of his sisters, then the incidents should be referred to as what they are: sibling sexual abuse. As the Duggar family seems to have failed to recognize Josh Duggar’s actions as incest and sibling sexual abuse, they are not alone. According to Social Work Today, most cases of sibling sexual abuse goes unreported, and like the Duggar victims have expressed, many do not see themselves as actual incest victims.

Social Work Today provides an inside look at the type of family structure where sibling sexual abuse may occur. They specifically point out that this type of behavior may occur in a household where siblings take on a parental role. It is common knowledge that in the Duggar household, each child was assigned an older child who would serve as a mentor. Josh Duggar was the oldest child in the household. It is also prevalent in large families, according to the report.

“Sibling sexual abuse victims often live in dysfunctional family environments that subtly foster incestuous behaviors and are not conducive to disclosing the secret. Sibling incest appears more likely to occur in large families characterized by physical and emotional violence, marital discord, explicit and implicit sexual tensions, and blurred intrafamilial boundaries. Emotionally and/or physically absent parents may empower older siblings to assume parental roles. In short, these families are chaotic and unlikely to recognize the significance of behaviors occurring between siblings. If sexual behaviors are noticed, they are likely to be minimized and misinterpreted as a normal aspect of childhood development. Lack of adequate parental supervision provides perpetrators with ongoing opportunities to offend and protects the secret, leaving the victim vulnerable to continuing abuse (Asherman & Safier, 1990; Caffaro & Conn-Caffaro, 2005).”

The National Clearinghouse on Family Violence Public Health Agency of Canada has provided a PDF guide for parents that discusses Sibling Sexual Abuse and helps parents identify unhealthy, negative behaviors. While some play between same-age siblings occurs (such as playing house with “Mommy and Daddy” roles), there is a line that is crossed. This line typically occurs when a sibling is at least three-years-older than the sibling or forces a sibling into a sexual situation. You may read the parental guide on Sibling Sexual Abuse here.

Safer Society also has a free guide for parents and child caregivers about child on child and sibling sexual abuse and incest. You may read the guide Do Children Sexually Abuse Other Children here.

What do you think about Jim Bob Duggar’s note to fathers? Do you think he should be offering parenting advice?

[Photo by Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images]

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