Charlie Sheen Explains That His 2011 Behavior Was A ‘Suicide Run’ From His HIV Diagnosis

Though Charlie Sheen is now acting as if a weight was removed from his shoulders, he is facing an uphill battle with legal trouble. But back in 2011, when Charlie Sheen seemed to be raging against something, he now says he was on a “suicide run” from his diagnosis. It is unclear when he came clean with the “goddesses” that were living with him at the time, and if they knew then that Sheen was HIV positive.

According to the Inquisitr, the last 48 hours have been crazy for Charlie Sheen with the plan and then the appearance on the Today Show with Matt Lauer. It is now known that the way the information leaked about the Sheen diagnosis was through close friends and lawsuits totaling over $10 million paid largely to adult film stars to keep quiet about Charlie Sheen’s positive HIV status. There is no word whether the financial arrangements were actually extortion payments to shady people.

Rolling Stone is reporting that though the world thought Charlie Sheen was just on a bender in 2011 when he torched his career and ended his run on the hit show Two and a Half Men, he was really on what he calls a “suicide run” from his HIV diagnosis. He calls the doctor’s words as a “mule kick to his soul.”

“Not missing a beat, a med dose, or one shred of guidance, quickly my viral loads became undetectable,” according to Sheen. “Like every other challenge in my life, again, I was victorious and kicking this disease’s ass.”

While fans respect Charlie Sheen’s optimism, what they are questioning is whether this arrogance put others at risk in the process.

“Still, the shock of the diagnosis sent Sheen into a downward spiral, a ‘suicide run,’ as he called it, marked by extensive drinking and drug use (based on the actor’s four-year time frame, this would match up with his infamous 2011 meltdown and dismissal from Two and a Half Men),” according to the Rolling Stone.

It is hard to make sense of the man who rants about #winning and #tigerblood as someone who could be depended upon to take medication on time each day in between alcohol binges and recreational drug use.

“Despite such destructive behavior, Sheen remained dedicated to his anti-viral treatment, amazing his doctors as his blood tests continued to show a state of remission. ‘Even though I might have been trying to kill myself, one thing was radically evident: the disease was not,’ he said.”

US Magazine is revealing that Charlie Sheen oddly was surprised that his years of risky behavior ended with this diagnosis.

“The personal disbelief, karmic confusion, shame and anger lead to a temporary yet abysmal descent into profound substance abuse and fathomless drinking. It was a suicide run,” the actor admitted. “Problem was, I’d forgotten that I’m too tough for such a cowardly departure. Yet, despite this loathsome and horrific odyssey, I was vigilant with my anti-viral program… My medical team could only shake their heads as each and every blood test returned levels revealing a state of remission. Even though I might have been trying to kill myself, one thing was radically evident; the disease was not.”

It is wonderful that Charlie Sheen sounds so upbeat now that he says he is no longer using drugs and has a clearer head, but most will admit that back in 2011, he just sounded nuts. He also seems to admit that in seeking the company of “unsavory types” (and one could argue that he too was an unsavory type at the time) he put himself at increased risk of contracting any communicable disease.

“Sadly, my truth soon became their treason, as a deluge of blackmail and extortion took center stage in this circus of deceit,” he wrote.

He says his days of wild and crazy living are behind him, and that philanthropy is in front of him. Fans hope so, but we shall see.

Do you think Charlie Sheen is taking personal responsibility for his diagnosis, or does it seem like he is pointing a finger at others?

[Photo courtesy of Michael Buckner/Getty Images]