Yes, most of us know just reading the above phrase that the Burger King Bacon Sundae is going to be a bad, bad idea.
Whether all by itself, or following a fast food meal, if you eat the Burger King Bacon Sundae, honestly how shitty do you expect to feel an hour later? 110%? No one is going to Pilates class after eating a bacon sundae.
Before this comes off as some sort of misguided, puritanical anti-bacon stance, let it be said that I am all for bacon, and sundaes, general fatassery, and even eat at Burger King every so often despite a pathological obsession with burger quality. And as for exercising, I am a blogger, so draw your own conclusions there because one day a health insurance company may be sorting through my old posts and linking the phrase “bacon sundae” with my name.
No, this is about our country’s frustrating deification of bacon and how America is destroying bacon by putting it in sundaes, people.
Burger King isn’t the first company to market a bacon sundae- Denny’s Baconalia event featured a maple bacon sundae of some description a while back, and one of NYC’s best burger joints, Shake Shake, certainly features a high-end bacon sundae that could theoretically work on some level.
But it doesn’t. Because it is a bacon. Sundae. Seriously people. I love cilantro and I love chocolate cake and I am not putting the two together at any point before I am dead. Sometimes good things just don’t go together. Like bacon. And sundaes.
No, this is about something bigger than squeamishness at a bacon sundae. This is about our wholesale exploitation of bacon, one that is ruining a perfectly good flavor element and encouraging these sort of bacon shenanigans nationwide.
Just say no to the Burger King Bacon Sundae. Get some good bacon, and put it on toast, or in a quiche, or eat it off skewers while women fan you. Just stop being a jerk about bacon on the internet, and maybe this abomination will cease to be.