Bummer: Topless coffee shop burns to the ground

The male population of Vassalboro, Maine is inconsolable after headline-grabbing local joint the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop was destroyed in a fire late last night.

The fire came just hours after owner Donald Crabtree met with local officials to iron out zoning problems surrounding the sultry Starbucks competitor. At that meeting, close to fifty wet-blankets local residents showed up to complain and prevent Crabtree’s efforts to extend operating hours, expand employee parking and let people see boobs when they get their coffee.

Crabtree, who lived on the premises with his family, recently shelled out nearly $280,000 to renovate and launch the business and did not have insurance. Crabtree and six family members, including his infant grandchildren, escaped unharmed in the early-morning blaze.

Although a cause for the fire has not yet been determined, officials have deemed it suspicious.