Jimmy Kimmel is insane, and that’s why we love him

The announcement of the fall television lineups for the US television networks also goes hand in hand with a process called “upfronts,” where the networks pitch their shows to advertisers.

Usually these events involve stars rattling off numbers about how great their show is, and how much better it will be next year, or as Gawker so nicely puts it: “one enormous act of autofellatio, an endless stream of workers sucking the c***s of the companies they work for in order to hold on to their jobs and continue to cash ridiculously large paychecks.”

But this year was different. ABC Late Night Talk Show host Jimmy Kimmel decided to channel Jerry McGuire and tell it like is:

“Let’s get real here. Let’s get Dr. Phil-real here. These new fall shows? We’re going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Maybe more.”

“Every year we lie to you and every year you come back for more. You don’t need an upfront. You need therapy. We completely lie to you, and then you pass those lies onto your clients.”

If ABC is so confident in its new fall shows, he asked, why is it announcing them at the same time it announces the midseason shows that will replace those fall shows? “This show ‘Shark Tank’ has the word tank right in the title,” he said.

“Next year on ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ your product could kill Dr. Izzie. It just depends on how much you want to pay.”

“I think all our shows are going to work this year. I really do. I don’t, really.”

“The important thing to remember is: who cares, it’s not your money.”

Kimmel also took a shot at NBC and Jay Leno, whom ABC once courted to possibly replace him when his contract with NBC expired, saying that they’re “giving Jay’s viewers exactly what they want. An early-bird special.”

As the NY Times notes, the chances of Kimmel’s show lasting much longer are very slim indeed. He’s insane, and that’s why we love him.