Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux were married in a ceremony cleverly disguised as a surprise birthday party for Theroux and, while many of the celebrity attendees are still keeping their lips sealed, Howard Stern isn’t one to keep a secret for long. Listeners of Stern’s Sirius XM radio show were treated to news of the Aniston/Theroux wedding when Howard revealed the secret.
Stern confessed that there were few guests to the party that knew the surprise party was more than it seemed, and Stern only knew because he had been asked to prepare a toast for the newlyweds. Stern added that he had even kept the secret from his own mother.
“I was so nervous,” Howard said of the Aniston/Theroux wedding. “They’re so secretive, those two.”
On his radio show, as well as in his toast, Howard spoke of his admiration of Justin Theroux, though Stern admitted Justin’s interests were a bit extreme.
“I’m very friendly with Justin. I like him very much…I really admire him. I even said in my speech to them that if one of my daughters brought home a guy like Justin, I’d be very pleased. Except for the s–tty tattoos, ’cause he’s got some f–king weird ones. And except for the fact that I gave him a journal to draw in and he draws pictures of dead zombie babies with blood dripping out their head on every almost page. I said, ‘Those two things might disturb me.’ But aside from that…”
Stern expressed just how miserable the secret wedding had made him feel, revealing that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux went as far as collecting the guests cell phones. Even in Stern’s toast, he seemed to be questioning the wisdom of disguising a wedding as a birthday party.
“They had these little tiny chairs. There was a table, and then you sit down and the chairs were like poufs, like little pillow poufs,” Howard said. “I’m 6-foot-f–king-5! I’m a grown man! Why can’t I have my cell phone? I don’t want to take a picture of you two! I really don’t. I want my cell phone so after I make this speech I can call my car and get the f–k outta here!”
“People were laughing at my misery,” he added.
Stern’s radio show rant continued to focus on Aniston and Theroux’s rule about taking pictures.
“The irony is, I’ve been on vacation with those two, and they take pictures every f–king minute! They’re constantly shooting pictures. But if I take a picture, I’m committing a sin! This whole… It was always called a birthday party. Whenever you got an e-mail, it was a birthday party. They’re so secretive that they even had the wedding on a Wednesday because nobody gets married on a Wednesday.”
Stern complimented the couple on enlisting Sia to sing the first song, as Theroux, 44, and Aniston, 46, had their first dance as husband and wife.
“It was very romantic,” Stern admitted.
Even Howard’s heart melted, in spite of the misery he was caused by the secrecy insisted upon by Ms. Aniston and Mr. Theroux.
“We had a fun time,” Stern told co-host Robin Quivers. “Great time.”
[Featured image: Jennifer Aniston And Justin Theroux courtesy of Frazer Harrison/Getty Images]