Teen Mom Shayla McQueen is Valedictorian, Where is MTV With This Kid’s Show?

While MTV is known for giving teen moms a platform to screw up parenting and teenagerhood in living rooms across America, teen mom Shayla McQueen has just beat out every kid in her graduating class to become valedictorian.

It even feels pretty terrible to say “teen mom Shayla McQueen,” as if that defines her. But often such is the way for young women in our society, one that to this day, in 2012, is fraught with judgment, shame and additional consequence heaped upon only women who commit the undeniably easy-to-fall-prey-to transgression of becoming pregnant outside the confines of marriage or before the age of 20.

Or to look at it this way- babies born to teenage mothers were half-created by usually teenage fathers 100% of the time. 100% of the time! 100% of those babies! But when was the last time you heard anyone criticizing a teenage boy for impregnating someone? Single mothers are villainized in America today, a frequent punching bag for those who oppose social safety nets- but single dads, in contrast, are frequently commended for going above and beyond in their responsibility and dedication.

So, back to Shaylah McQueen. As a younger mother myself (I was 20 and married when I became unexpectedly pregnant with my first child), I can scarcely imagine what Shayla was faced with when others learned she would be a mother far ahead of schedule. It is the same refrain repeated over and over to women who find themselves in the extremely common predicament of pregnancy at an early age, and one I heard even married and post-college: “Your life is over.”

“Your life is over.” This phrase is somehow totally okay to say to a woman who is too young, privy to too few resources, facing the biggest decision and challenge she will ever likely face. In contrast, would anyone say that to a person diagnosed with a serious illness? Or a young man who was gravely injured in an accident? Or someone who lost a job? Unlikely, but we as a society feel comfortable giving that message to young women- young women who have more of a reason to succeed than their peers, for both their kids and society- in nearly every situation it occurs.

Shayla McQueen doesn’t have to be the exception- she can absolutely be the rule, and especially as a society that shows increasing discomfort with abortion, perhaps we should be re-evaluating how we speak to young women who face the challenge of early motherhood with a far more positive message. It would seem, however, even with her impressive accomplishment in keeping her life on track, McQueen has faced the same kind of societal sanction.

The New Haven honors student says:

“To this day my own dad disowns me, but I still love him dearly. It doesn’t matter… I’m gonna woman up and be mature and responsible for my child and myself.”

Shayla McQueen is the recipient of a scholarship to attend Wilson University, where she is headed in the fall with her young son- an outcome we should all remind teen moms is possible and in reach for many of them. But how much do you want to bet people won’t be falling over themselves to defend Shayla McQueen like they did Ann Romney?

“How Far We Haven’t Come” is a twice-weekly series by Kim LaCapria, examining the sorry state of women’s issues in America in the current political climate.

Teen mom, top student earns scholarship: wtnh.com