Pat Robertson Proves Global Warming is a Hoax: No SUVs On Mars!

If you’re worried about climate change or global warming, don’t be. Turns out, it’s all a big hoax. And IQ doesn’t need to quote compelling scientific arguments to the contrary to prove it. All we need is Pat Robertson, who has recently steered his career from Christian televangelism to saying awkward things that make people uncomfortable. According to Robertson, man-made climate change isn’t something to fuss over because… there are no SUVs on Mars.

Pat Robertson provided what he calls “proof” that there is no such thing as global warming due to the fact that there are no sport utility vehicles or oil refineries on the planet Mars. Explaining why he is “not a disciple of global warming” in a segment about European climate change activists on Tuesday, he said, “This is weird,” continuing, “You wonder is there a desire to punish themselves? Is it some kind of innate guilt that is eating at the Europeans? They just seem to be intent on destroying themselves.”

Co-host Terry Meeuwsen then pointed out, “There’s a fairly large faction of people here in the United States also who follow that whole creed.” Robertson agreed, following with, “Is it guilt? Do we think that we have sinned and therefore we have destroyed our planet and therefore we’re going to get it in the neck?” Robertson then went on to reassure us with truth. “Just keep in mind that Mars, and say, ‘How many SUVs, how many oil refineries are there on Mars?’ And yet, it’s the relationship to the sun that is effecting the climate on Mars,” he concluded.

There have been claims by those not-in-favor of man-made global warming arguments that recent warming trends on Mars prove that man has no stake in the whimsy of Earth’s climate. Penn State meteorologist Michael Mann calls that scapegoating (though suspiciously not answering the charge made against the argument!) “The small measured changes in solar output and variations from one decade to the next are only on the order of a fraction of a percent, and if you do the calculations not even large enough to really provide a detectable signal in the surface temperature record,” Mann explained.

“Solar activity continues to be one of the last bastions of contrarians,” he added. “People who don’t accept the existence of anthropogenic climate change still try to point to solar activity.”

IQ does feel the need to clarify that Robertson’s position on global warming is technically correct. There are in fact no SUVs or oil refineries on the planet Mars.