Keyring Breathalyzer Perfect Example of what’s Wrong with America

So you’re feeling the bite of the recession like everyone else, yet you still think that even though you’ve been laid off from your job and the bank is about to foreclose on your house, you can head over to that swanky restaurant for your usual 3 martini lunch.

There, there. I understand. Times are tough and you need something to hang onto while your world crumbles, but those martinis aren’t cheap. No sir. But who, or what will save you from drinking yourself into the poorhouse?

Enter your savior, the magic recession antidote – The keyring Breathalyzer!

Approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, the keyring breathalyzer is small enough to discreetly fit on a keychain and after your second martini, you just whip it out, blow into it and it’ll tell you that you’ve reached your daily spending limit.

Now you can leave the homeless shelter confident in knowing that your welfare check will stretch farther because you have something in your pocket that’ll tell you to stop wasting your kid’s food money on booze.

Ok, for those of you who don’t appreciate sarcasam, I’ll tell it like it is:

Exercise some responsibility and self control. Your lack of doing so is largely the reason why you’re in this mess to begin with.