For I have risen, and there’s water on Yahoo

From our regular contributor, Fake Steve Gillmor

Now the Lord has fulfilled his word which he spoke; for I have risen in place of the redirect and sit on the throne of anecdotes, as the lord promised, and have built the house for the name of the lord, the God of Blogging.

It’s always good to be given a second chance. There’s water on Yahoo so Twitter says, and Carl Icahn is sitting on a clue.

What say thee on a summers day that Yahoo has water? not a rose but a crown of thorns consuming a coral reef. Microsoft, having moved into Canada now bludgeons baby seals, and tells Yahoo to take it or leave it. FriendFeed. Mesh.

Yahoo prays to a false prophet, seeking a social play that Facebook took away one rainy winters day. H20 they say, never on a raining day, but only where the play is gay. Hooray.

At TimeWarner, they aim for an Albatross on the 17th, failing perhaps as the batteries run out on the golf cart, but happy in the warm glow of a declining medium. Announcing the right plan at the wrong time, then a wrong plan at the right time, then a wrong plan at the Battle of Waterloo, you know what I mean.

Powerset proves that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Cuil may not be cool, but there’s always hope of a Google buy. Acquisitions never stop as Mountain View aims for world domination, a standing army of millions ready to speak the word of the god to the heathens.

“Remember, I shall be with you always, to the end of the world.” It’s great to be back, and I never forgot you. That’s the story of Yahoo.