During Metallica’s recent performance at Rock in Rio, their ferocious stick man Lars Ulrich was pictured wearing what looks like the sort of thong you’d expect to find on a Victoria’s Secret model, not on the pasty pale hairy butt of a heavy metal drummer.
Naturally, and despite picture evidence which would appear to indicate the opposite, the Metallica drummer’s people have denied the outlandish, nay, outrageous suggestion that one of the original four riders of the thrash metal apocalypse would lower himself to such a level as to wear a sexy red thong in public.
A representative of Lars Ulrich has claimed that Metallica’s beat merchant merely looked like he was proudly wearing some fetching ladies underwear while enthusiastically pounding the skins because of an unfortunate trick of the light. Mmmmm!
Ultimate Classic Rock reports that a representative from the Metallica camp declared that Ulrich was the victim of stage lighting, not Victoria’s Secret.
Apparently, the photo doing the rounds on social media, which appears to show Metallica’s rhythm master working up a sweat and getting in to the groove while brazenly wearing a bright red thong is little more than an optical illusion caused by the stage spotlights which, and this is the best part, threw a shadow of the drummer’s shirt over his bare rear end.
Although it’s tempting to call b******t on such an explanation, if Metallica’s boogie baron had indeed been wearing the sort of underwear which would make Hugh Hefner blush, you can understand the tempo tyrant’s desire to distance himself from such frivolity.
Unlike their cock-rocking counterparts in the glam metal prime of the late 1980s, Metallica was always considered a man’s band who didn’t need make-up, hairspray, slightly feminine clothing or suggestive sexuality to sell records. They did it the old fashioned way through grunt, groan, a manly attitude toward playing their instruments, a complete neglect of personal grooming, and a lack of any aesthetic ideal.
Now, it appears Lars could be about to throw Metallica’s reputation as a no-frills, hard-rocking, homegrown, and what you see is what you get band out of the window all because he might have a passion for wearing woman’s underwear.
If, and it’s a mighty big if, Metallica’s tenacious time-keeper has some sort of cross dressing fetish, it’s probably best he announces it the world sooner or later, because these things have a habit of spilling out and causing an ungodly mess.
[Image Via Frank Micelotta/Getty Images and Twitter]