Move Over Hooters: Here Comes Tallywackers! New Dallas Restaurant To Offer Half-Naked, Beefcake Waiters

A new restaurant opening in Dallas promises to be to women (and/or gay men) everything that Hooters is to dudes: Tallywackers will offer scantily-clad males with rock-hard bods serving up customers’ food and drinks, E! Online is reporting.

“Tallywacker,” in case you didn’t know, is a juvenile, schoolyard slang word for “penis,” much like “Hooters” is a juvenile, slang word for “breasts.”

Tallywackers is “coming soon” to Dallas’ Oak Lawn neighborhood, known locally as a “gayborhood” for its variety of LGBT-friendly bars and restaurants, where it will likely face stiff competition.

Ugly, fat dudes need not apply.

Clever bloggers haven’t had a particularly hard time coming up with names to describe the new restaurant. Dallas Morning News writer Tiney Ricciardi decided to go family-friendly and call it a “Chestaurant,” while Eater writer Whitney Filloon threw caution to the wind and went straight for the jugular of vulgarity, calling it a “D***staurant.”

Tallywackers Head of Marketing Winston T. Lackey is being rather cagey about what’s going to be on the menu, although he promises that there will be hot dogs — extra large, of course. This writer is also anticipating chorizo, bratwurst, and perhaps cannolis for dessert.

The new restaurant also is planning to host all-male cabaret shows on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.

Although it’s opening in a gay neighborhood, Tallywackers is expecting plenty of female customers. For the food — yeah, that’s it. A post on the restaurant’s Facebook page makes it clear that all are welcome at Tallywackers.

“Tallywackers is an enjoyable environment for any audience member seeking a fun, enjoyable environment with respect and great entertainment!”

If the comments on the restaurant’s Facebook page are any indication, Tallywackers is going to be huge with women.

“When are we going???”

“I wanna go now!!”

“Ladies it’s about time!!!”

Of course, there are always spoil-sports who want to ruin everybody’s fun; other comments on Tallywackers’ Facebook page take the planned restaurant to task for its juvenile name or offering human beings as eye candy, or both.

“I don’t see anything respectful about the restaurant’s name which is a worse euphemism than even the hooters name imo. I can just hear small children asking mommy why somebody named restaurants after pen*ses and breas*s (not to mention objectifying men & women while eating yer meal). btw I don’t have a problem with saying or writing those words (or teaching kids sex ed.). I just didn’t know what facebook would censor. But apparently”tally wh**ker” is ok with them.”

Tallywackers is scheduled to open in May.

[Images courtesy of: Shutterstock/KI Petro, Facebook]