Let’s be realistic, flipping burgers in McDonald’s is never going to be described as anyone’s dream job, but you’ll be unpleasantly surprised at the number of intricate and mind boggling hoops any hopeful who wants to work for the flame-haired cloud has to jump through in order to pull on the legendary Maccy D hat and cry “I’m loving’ it” with all the enthusiasm of a beaten dog.
The Daily Mail has revealed that It might be harder than you realize to bag a job at your local McDonald’s. Why? Because the fast food empire has a vigorous recruitment procedure designed to separate the wheat from the chaff. Or as cynics might suggest, to find out if you’re the sort of employee who will do exactly as they’re told without any backchat and little protest.
Life in a society which thrives on unregulated capitalism, saturated fat, excess sugar, and little in the way of real nutrition is hard enough without having to endure a series of questions seemingly designed to deaden one’s sensibilities and destroy one’s soul. Yet, McDonald’s insists, their dreaded “personality” test assists them in, “Understanding the position in our team that suits you best.”
Like similar tests by exclusive organisations such as Mensa, McDonald’s 23-question multiple choice online quiz is apparently easy to flunk and the questions range from the absurd to the ridiculous, to the outright insane.
One such question asks would be applicants, “How would you describe your interest towards food?”
Now, while your immediate response to such a question might be, “I love good food and therefore I avoid all fast food outlets like the plague.” Such a response is not in McDonald’s repertoire. Take a look below to see the plate-spinning madness that lies at the dark heart of the fast food clown.
It gets better though. Applicants are asked, “You are approached by a group of young kids while you are relaxing in the park. They want you to join them in a game of soccer. What are you likely to do?”
Obviously, any concerned citizen worth their salt would tell the kids it’s highly unwise to approach any stranger relaxing in the park, before losing all patience and screaming, “Now get the hell outta here. I’m trying to chill. I’ve just spent a 12-hour shift asking people if they want large fries with their beef products!”
Once again, the McDonald’s questionnaire does not give you the option to make such a valid response, but they do offer the following.
Here’s another nugget for you. “While in the supermarket, the man behind you trips and spills his shopping all over the floor. He is obviously embarrassed. What do you do?”
Laugh long and hard at the clumsy fool? Well, such an attitude won’t get you a position at the Golden Arches, but here’s some of the responses that will.
And before you go, try this one for size. “You are working in a restaurant and it’s very busy. You’re finding it hard to keep on top of your own tasks when a teammate asks you to help them out immediately. This is not part of your role and your manager is not available. What would you do?”
Naturally, any right thinking person would simply smile and say, “Not today my friend. That sh*t just ain’t in my job description or pay-scale. If I ain’t got the power, I ain’t got the responsibility. As James Brown once said, ‘What it is, is what it is! Now deal with it!'”
Sadly, such eloquence has no place in the calorie riddled depths of Ronald McDonald’s deep fried soul, but here are some of the replies that do.
(Image Via Joe Raedle/Getty Images)