A new study, carried out by scientists from Saint Louis University, has found that human beings are apparently “hardwired” to accept heartache and rejection, and bounce back quickly to move on and find new love.
Dr Brian Boutwell, who headed up the study, spoke about what is known as “primary mate ejection” versus “secondary mate ejection.”
As Dr Boutwell said, “Our review of the literature suggests we have a mechanism in our brains designed by natural selection to pull us through a very tumultuous time in our lives. It suggests people will recover; the pain will go away with time. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.”
The research also found that men and women often break up for a variety of reasons. Men, for example, are more likely to end a relationship if their female partner was sexually unfaithful, while women were more concerned with emotional monogamy from their partners.
As Dr Boutwell said, “Men are particularly sensitive to sexual infidelity between their partner and someone else. That’s not to say women don’t get jealous, they certainly do, but it’s especially acute for men regarding sexual infidelity.”
Interestingly, Boutwell also found that the “in love” part of the brain is the same as the cocaine enjoyment part, and as such, falling out of love might be compared to asking a cocaine addict to break his or her habit.
As Dr Boutwell said, “To sever that bond and move on is a huge ask of a person. Ultimately, trying to move on from a former mate may be similar in some ways to an attempt at breaking a drug habit.”
As far as the doctor and his colleagues are concerned, not enough research has been done into the human condition called love. As he noted.
“If we better understand mate ejection, it may offer direct and actionable insight into ways in which couples can save a relationship that might otherwise come to a stultifying and abrupt halt.”
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