Holly Madison Admits In ‘Down The Rabbit Hole’ Tell-All That She Contemplated Suicide At Playboy Mansion

Holly Madison is spilling secrets in Down The Rabbit Hole, a memoir that delves into the dark side of life at the Playboy mansion including her own thoughts of suicide.

In the memoir, Madison detailed what life was like as one of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner’s live-in girlfriends. As Madison revealed, the life that appeared glamorous from the outside was not at all that way in reality.

“Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare,” promotional material for the book states. “After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.”

Holly Madison hasn’t revealed many details of what Down The Rabbit Hole will entail, but the publisher said the tell-all book will detail the “oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and [her] battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies.”

For Holly Madison, writing Down The Rabbit Hole was a chance to open up about the life no one else was able to see.

“I’m excited to finally share my story and what I’ve learned from my personal experiences both inside and outside of the Playboy Mansion,” Madison told Us Weekly. “I think my stories will surprise people and I’m looking forward to lifting the veil of mystique and clearing up the misconceptions so often associated with my life.”

Holly Madison is not the only person revealing some secrets of the Playboy Mansion. Hugh Hefner’s son, 23-year-old Cooper, recently opened up about what it was like growing up in one of the nation’s most infamous party houses.

Cooper took Business Insider on a tour of the Playboy Mansion. He said that the Grotto, which was reportedly home to many drug and alcohol-fueled orgies, had a much different meaning to Cooper.

As a child, Cooper said he saw the Grotto as some kind of Indiana Jones-style fantasy land, where he imagined himself an adventurer.

But Cooper was kept from some of the seedier parts of the Playboy Mansion.

“We were kept away from the parties while we were growing up when we were younger,” he said. “Like any other 13, 14, 15-year-old if you’re upstairs and your parents are having a Christmas party you’re going to sneak down and try to figure out why you aren’t allowed at the party.”

Though she is taking a look back at the Playboy Mansion lifestyle in Down The Rabbit Hole, Holly Madison has mostly left that life behind. She is now married to music promoter Pasquale Rotella and has opened her own speakeasy called 1923 Bourbon and Burlesque.

[Image via Frazer Harrison/Getty Images]