Recent reports out of the shattered remains of Iraq, Syria and Libya reveal that ISIS fighters are fast food junkies, gorging on sugary treats and burgers while channeling 7th Century Jihadi killers bent on making the human race submit to their twisted Islamic Caliphate.
The Islamic State or ISIS proclaim themselves to be fighters for Allah following Mohammad’s example to the letter, and they have denounced all modern Western comforts. Certainly, when it comes to oppressing unarmed civilians, burning people alive and spreading terror, these homicidal madmen don’t hesitate to use Western technology. Similarly, when it comes to food, the majority of the ISIS fighters near Mosul, Iraq – the second largest city under their control – have a ravenous hunger for burgers, chocolates and others treats from Western “Infidel” nations.
ISIS has always vehemently rejected and criticized all things that come from what they constantly refer to as corrupt Western nations. Surely, if ISIS members want to act like 7th century barbarians, they should at least be eating like 7th century barbarians. Right? Not Quite.
These brutal Islamist murderers are quite fond of fast-food, regularly indulging in a high-sugar, high-calorie diet. In fact, the most popular restaurant patronized by ISIS thugs in Mosul is the local Big Burger, home of the ever-popular Big Burger Special, which is essentially a cheeseburger topped generously with French fries with a Coke or Sprite included.
If the local-brand burgers don’t cut it, some ISIS fighters won’t hesitate smuggling in the real deal – the beloved Big Mac – from Turkey.
Evidently, the fascination with deep-fried junk food, which ISIS proclaims to be sinful along with everything else from Western society, doesn’t end with burgers. According to CNBC, before venturing out for a day filled with merciless beheading, brutal lashing or throwing elderly Gay men from the roof of tall buildings, the ISIS mass murderers stock-up for the truly terrifying late-afternoon sugar rush.
ISIS Jihadists have been known to carry Snickers Bars, Pringles, Fruit Loops, and any other junk food they can coerce, smuggle or steal. Moreover, their favorite drink undeniably is Red Bull, which is known to give even terrorism wings. Intrepid journalists who managed to escape with their heads still on their shoulders actually documented trailer trucks full of Red Bull being smuggled to ISIS strongholds from Turkey.
Interestingly, finding Fritos and Fanta stocked up in stores is normally a rare occurrence in the Middle East. As the region’s civilian population descends ever deeper into poverty thanks to the chaos created by ISIS, local shop owners have been forced to stock only sugary snack foods to meet the strenuous demands of severing heads and selling sex slaves. Apparently, in their quest to destroy anything and everything connected with the non-Islamic world, ISIS terrorists have decided to feast on every fattening, nutritionally worthless item ever produced by Western culture.
One cannot consider the demand for fast food to be illogical. In fact, the Jihadis love of junk food is quite understandable, given the fact that many fresh ISIS recruits hail from Western countries. Hence, it might not be a bad idea to regularly airdrop fast-food packets instead of bombs to weaken the ISIS brigades. Then, when the leaders of the Free World decide the time is right to speed up the process of destroying ISIS with the latest advances in nutritional warfare, they can always add GMO food to the airdrops.
[Image by Cate Gillon / Getty and Jihadi Facebook Page]