Erica and Andrew Holloway have a seemingly normal marriage on the surface. However, there is one glaring omission from the pair’s relationship. The couple has never consummated their marriage and have no plans to do so. In fact, Erica encourages Andrew to seek sex from women outside their marriage, often times with professional escorts. Erica is currently in the process of finding Andrew a live-in sexual partner to satisfy his sexual needs when they arise.
The Daily Mail reports that Erica is still a virgin despite having been married to Andrew since 2012. Erica says that the couple is more in love today than they were the day they were married, even without physical intimacy.
“I wish I wanted to have sex with my husband. But I don’t and I know I never will as, while I love him, the idea of sex repulses me. We are still very affectionate with each other and love to hold hands and kiss and cuddle, but that’s as far as I could ever go. People might think our marriage would be a disaster because of this, but we are as happy now as the day we met.”
Erica says that she has been asexual for her entire life and noticed the lack of sexual feelings at the age of 15. She notes that she has never been sexually attracted to anyone, but still loves her husband. Eric says that she feared for a long time that no one would accept her for the way she is, void of a desire for sexual relations.
“I still wanted the companionship you get from a partner, I just didn’t want the sex side and I worried I would never ever find anyone who would be prepared to love and accept me the way I am.”
Fortunately for Erica, she met Andrew. Andrew had been a long-time friend, but eventually the feelings of friendship blossomed into more. Erica was very straightforward about her feelings about sex. Erica says “the idea of sex repulses” her. Therefore, she told Andrew she had no intention of ever having sex with him but he said it didn’t stop him from wanting to marry Erica. Andrew notes that he still dreams about having sex with Erica, but says he “could not live without her” in his life.
“She is the one woman I dream of having sex with, yet I know I never will and that has been sad. And there was a period when I did question whether if I asked her to marry me it could ever work. But every time I thought about ending it, I knew I could not live without her in my life. If I didn’t love her as much as I do it would never have lasted, but we are still hopelessly in love in spite of our lack of intimacy.”
Though Erica has no sexual desires, Andrew still does. Therefore, Erica has permitted Andrew to seek sexual satisfaction outside of their marriage. Andrew has had sex with ten different women, mostly escorts, since the couple has been married. To help ensure Andrew’s sexual desires are met, Erica is looking for a live-in partner for Andrew. Erica says she is not jealous when Andrew sleeps with other women, but is actually relieved.
“Just because I don’t want sex, I understand Andrew does, so we sought help from a sex counselor who came up with the suggestion he takes lovers and it seemed the perfect solution for us. Jealousy is never a factor as I’m just relieved Andrew is having sex; I feel guilty it can’t be with me.”
Not all sexless marriages end as well as the Holloway’s partnership. Kerry Robyn discussed being a married virgin in the Huffington Post earlier this month. Robyn says she was married to her husband Mike for five years, yet the couple was unable to have sex. Robyn says the pair tried frequently to make love, but penetration never occurred. As a result of the lack of intimacy, Robyn says the marriage failed and she felt like a failure. Lack of sex was directly responsible for the couple’s divorce.
“But really, between his giant penis, his premature ejaculation problem and my tight-as-a-virgin-because-I-was-a-virgin problem, well, the whole thing was pretty much doomed. After five years of marriage, we broke it off. We had tried couples counseling and everything else: lingerie, candles, massage oil. Nothing worked.”
Did you know there were married couples out there that never consummate their marriage? Could you sustain a sexless marriage or is sex a vital part of a healthy relationship?