In marriages, how often do you hear or read about a groom forsaking his last name for the bride’s name? Yes, this doctor now has a maiden name.
Most times in marriage, the bride takes the groom’s last name or the bride chooses to keep her last name, attaching it to her husband’s. However, this case deems fairly interesting in its concept. It appears that marriage equality comes into play as the couple decided to start something new from both their families. Dr. Brian Wachler became Brian Boxer-Wachler after marrying Selina Boxer, who also became “Boxer-Wachler.” Surely, that was a mouthful. Still following?
Encouragingly, this is a different way of expressing marriage vows, but it seems to work just fine. This couple has been married for 21 years, and the flame’s still burning bright. Dr. Brian expresses his thoughts about his relationship and gives a tidbit of advice to those who seek lasting unions.
“Marriage is a long love affair, and it also a team where you work together to solve problems. To be long term, each has to have the utmost respect for each other. There are always going to be challenges along the way, just like in life, and having an amazing partner is key to moving through them and keeping perspective…”
“…There are not many of us men in the United States with a maiden name. We are a rare breed. We are so rare that you will not find that demographic tick box on many applications. In the exam room, sometimes a married female patient will ask me about the origin of my last name. After I explain it, she will set her gaze on her husband who is also sitting in the room.”
While marriage is a sacred union, there are also times with people attempt to give you relationship advice about it. Most times, it’s unwanted. However, there are those few times when others’ marriage counseling seems to add zeal to your life. Such is the case with his grandfather, who offered marriage advice to the couple as they began their life story together.
“Distilled from advice from my Grandpa and from a family friend Evelyn Williams, I have two simple responses:
(1) ‘Do whatever is necessary to keep peace and happiness under the roof” and
(2) ‘Within your family (parents, siblings, etc.), always know your spouse is the most important family member in your life and keep him/her on a pedestal above others, which includes siding with your spouse in family disputes’.”
So, even though this marriage formality is non-traditional, by the gesture of this couple uniting their names as one, it only strengthens the bond of the two. There’s no sacrifice, but simply a compromise, a joining of two into one with a new marriage concept. Well, not to say that it’s new, but it’s surely not the norm in the United States.
It would be interesting to note that Brian met Selina in Vancouver, Canada, which is also where their marriage began. Hopefully, it wasn’t to escape the ridicule and speculation from his family in the U.S. Moreover, it was probably because her family is Canadian and resides in the country.
What about you? Would you have taken such steps for your marriage? Could you have been that creative and considerate in your vows? Does the grandfather’s marriage counseling seem like something you could apply to your own?
You can see Dr. Boxer-Wachler in the tweet below.
— Brian Boxer Wachler (@DrBoxerWachler) February 18, 2015
Share your thoughts. Comment below and spark conversation about your marriage experience, and how it could help others.
[Feature Image via Google Plus]