‘Kurt Cobain’ Faked His Suicide, Found An Anti-Aging Plant, And Is Working On A New Album, While The Internet Openly Mocks Him

Kurt Cobain says he is 27, but found an anti-aging plant to smoke.

April 5, 1994, Kurt Cobain, the famed and reluctant “voice of a generation,” died from a gunshot wound that was reportedly self-inflicted. Conspiracy theories have abounded since Cobain’s death two decades ago that his gunshot wound was not a suicide, but now, a Seattle man is saying that not only was the reported suicide not a suicide, he wasn’t killed at all. He knows, he says, because, according to him, he is Kurt Cobain. The man claims his name is Kurt Cobain, and he is 27-years-old. That minor two-decade age discrepancy is only a minor snag in Cobain’s story.

The man identifying himself as Kurt Cobain claims that he found a special plant in Alaska that prevents him from aging. There was no word on the kind of plant Cobain allegedly smokes to prevent aging or if there might be other side effects from its inhalation, but Cobain says, “I’m ready to rock.”

The Seattle songwriter says we should be on the look out for his new album in 2016, entitled I Did NOT Kill Myself… I’m Alive, which he will be sending to the major record labels as soon as it’s been completed. Cobain says he faked his suicide with Courtney Love’s help so that he could live in peace for awhile.

“It [suicide] was a way to get the media attention and all the stupid fans off my back so I could live in peace,” Cobain said. “But now I miss all the awesome attention and I want my career back. I want to make money. I want to rock.”

The self-proclaim Kurt Cobain says that he’s been recording the record in his own studio. Cobain’s not concerned that his former band members aren’t participating in the album, because they are busy people, according to the webpage Stuppid.

“This new Nirvana album is my most rockin-est yet. I’m recording it myself in my condo studio. Dave [Grohl] and Krist [Novoselic] didn’t get back to me about playing, but that’s okay. I know they’re busy dudes. So my mom’s playing drums and my neighbor’s playing bass. They’re both awesome musicians. My dog’s even barking on it.”

The man who says he is Kurt Cobain also says he and Courtney Love are still together and that she is pregnant with his child, which interestingly he claims will be the seventh child they have together.

“We’re very much in love and she is my best friend in the world and she is pregnant with my baby (we have six kids total) and we’re buying a condo in New York City and a big house on the beach in Paris and building a skyscraper in Mexico City for just two of us and she said she is going to buy me a limousine once the new album comes out so I can ride to my concerts and awards shows in rockin’ style. I love her so much and she loves me back so much. I love her boobs.”

Courtney has one daughter, Frances Cobain. Also, a note found on Cobain’s dead body indicated that his relationship with Love was less-than-awesome, according to a previous Inquisitr article.

He had written, “Do you Kurt Cobain take Courtney Michelle Love to be your lawful shredded wife even when she’s a b**** with zits and siphoning all (your) money for doping and whoring.”

Courtney Love owns partial rights to Cobain’s work, and consequently hates impostors, according to TMZ. In a separate situation, Love’s lawyer, Richard Dongell, reportedly told TMZ that she is working with police to try to track down whoever claimed to have hacked her computer to find a song that had been performed by Nirvana when Cobain was still alive. Courtney reportedly never had the unreleased song, which was said to be a fake, and was never hacked.

The self-proclaimed Kurt Cobain very well might not be a deliberate impostor though. People with grandiose delusions are many times believed to be impostors, but they are actually suffering from a mental disorder, according to Psych Central. Delusions that persist for over a a month and without other symptoms of schizophrenia are coined delusional disorders, according to Merck Manuals. The self-proclaimed Kurt Cobain has been mocked by media reports, social media, and radio stations this week, despite the apparent heightened public interest and awareness into mental health issues and the possibility that the Seattle man might not be a deliberate Kurt Cobain impostor.