Felicity Huffman Talks Depression, Says She ‘Wished She Was Dead’

Felicity Huffman has a seemingly charmed life; happily married for 18 years to fellow actor William H. Macy, stars in a highly anticipated crime drama on network television. But for a long time, things were very different for the star. While battling depression during what she calls a “dark time” before her marriage, she says she often wished she was dead.

“I went through a very, very dark three years, and that deep despair and depression changed me. It was kind of the crucible, from 28 to 31. That dark time changed me, I think, for the better… through the love of my family, through therapy. I came out of it. It was that kind of depression where I just wished I was dead, that kind of relentless — I just wished I was dead,” she told Tribune News.

Huffman says that now she’s able to look at things more objectively and see that the bad times actually helped her, in some way. And even though she was very reluctant to enter into a marriage — partly due to the disheartening statistics looming over it — she was eventually able to see herself in a committed relationship.

“Bill Macy asked me to marry him several times over several years. And I was finally smart enough to go: ‘I’m going to marry this guy or really lose him for good.’ And it was after we broke up for four or five years when he asked me again, I knew I couldn’t say no. It was the work I had to do in order to bring myself to the marriage and then the work that I did to be able to trust another person and see what comes out of that comfort and that safety. I was able to blossom out of that,” Felicity said.

The American Crime actress is also a devoted mother, and in 2013, she shared an intimate part of her body on camera in order to drive home a point about breast feeding. Huffman “flashed” Acting Disruptive host Max Lugavere during their conversation when she appeared on the show to promote her website, WhatTheFlicka.com.

Felicity is definitely not afraid to speak her mind, even when the topic is something as personal as her marriage. In the Tribune News article, she admitted that there was a time when the thought of marriage terrified her.

“I was so scared of marriage that I thought I would’ve preferred to step in front of a bus,” Felicity Huffman said.

[Image courtesy Kevork Djansezian /Getty Images]