Women may say there are no good men left. However, in this case, this woman has an exceptional man who treats her like his dream girl. Her complaint? “He’s too nice.”
During the trial, as she speaks about her husband, the woman claims,
“We had a wonderful relationship… we were like best friends. You know, he was my soul mate. Everything was fine except… he was too nice.”
At this point, and understandably so, the judge looks confused, and questions her to reiterate her statement. The woman confirms further:
“He was too nice, like, ‘scary nice’. You know the people… like, ‘stalkerish’ nice. ‘Too good to be true’.”
You can slowly see the judge, Lynn Toler, becoming more irritated and simultaneously amused the more the woman talks. However, Judge Toler asks the woman to elaborate so she could wrap her mind around the woman’s concept. So, the woman elaborates as follows.
“He was too nice, like, he’d say ‘I love you’, and I was waiting for the punch — like when you gonna kick me? It’s scary. Some people just… you can be nice. But [then] you can be too nice…
…I’m not used to that.”
Judge Toler then asks if her husband’s “I love you”s were too much for her. The woman responds:
“It’s not too much. But you don’t have to tell me, like, twice a week.”
At that point, the bailiff’s reaction seems to represent what the entire courtroom thinks.
In a final attempt to understand the woman’s position on “he’s too nice,” Judge Toler says, “I’m going to ask you one more time…”
The woman, then, blurts as follows.
“He made me gain weight… I mean, cause the man can cook. Brotha’ can throw down. But I mean, he cooked full-course meals for breakfast, lunch, dinner… 2 o’clock in the morning, if I was hungry, he wouldn’t fix me a sandwich. This man would make a whole meatloaf, potatoes with gravy, vegetables, a big stupid cup of Kool-Aid. I go to sleep right on that. But I get up in the morning, and he don’ fixed french toast, pancakes, grits, biscuits… so now, I’m laying on food on top of what I just laid on a couple hours ago.”
Surely, the judge had enough at that point. She responds:
“Mrs. Lucas… have you lost your mind? I have women coming in here whose men are leaving them because they got too heavy. They won’t cook… won’t clean… won’t pick up [in] the house… they’re controlling… unkind. You have got a guy who cooks for you… who doesn’t care what size you are. You have got a guy who tells you he loves you, without being prompted or looking for sex.
And you’re telling me that you want to leave him, because he treats a good, black woman — which we’re going to have to qualify [whether or not Mrs. Lucas is “good”] — like good, black women… a queen… ought to be treated?”
Flustered at that point, the judge continues her correction towards the woman:
“And what you’re doing… you’re taking… ‘I’m a very self-centered individual, and I don’t appreciate what a man has brought to my table. So, I’m going to make up some stupid reason’… and I very-rarely say that about anybody. I don’t say things are ‘stupid’. Because people have odd points of view, and that’s okay. But that’s stupid. You need to grow up, Mrs. Lucas.”
According to a “he’s too nice” study published in Newsweek, a question remains unanswered. “What do women want?” It can been heard across the globe that women want a nice guy — but once many women have them — they treat them like this.
Since this case aired, the woman [Rashida Lucas] has gone on to become a popular personality and seeming-world traveler. Some say that she needs her own reality show.
Though this case is from years ago, it is still highly relevant. As can be seen around the internet, women still think “he’s too nice,” similar to this woman. Maybe not as intensely, but similarly. If you were to perform a simple search online, you’ll find popular searches like, “he’s too nice and it’s really annoying” or “he’s too nice to break up with me.” Is this how many women think nowadays?
What are your thoughts about this particular case? How do you feel about her reasoning? Do you agree with the judge’s response to her defense? Do nice guys finish last?
[Feature Image via Google, Video via YouTube]