Ouch. Saturday Night Live’s Kate McKinnon’s ongoing impression of Justin Bieber might have peaked with her hardcore spoof of his Calvin Klein ads in three mock commercials.
Without question, McKinnon’s material wrote itself this past two weeks as opinion — and no small amount of shabbily-motivated body and gender shaming — raged over whether or not Bieber’s muscles and penis bulge were photoshopped in the ads.
The reality that it is unlikely Bieber would front an international underwear campaign if he was lacking in the package department, and has been showing the world how ripped he is on Instagram for well over a year, appears to be too obvious a point for most to grasp.
In the first SNL parody, McKinnon riffed on the black and white drumming video the singer shot with model Lara Stone, played by Cecily Strong.
“I’m a big boy now,” fake Bieber says to the camera, as edits showed him combing non-existent facial hair, lamely punching the air with oversized boxing gloves, showing off on the drums, and grossing out his co-star by trying to kiss or lick her.
At one point Mckinnon says, “This tattoo made me say owie,” while pointing at a tat. More laughs at Bieber’s expense came from a skit of Kate doing push-ups, which were revealed to be not at all strenuous as the camera panned out.
The “Bieber can’t lift bro, doesn’t have any muscles to speak of, and has a small pee pee” narrative continued with shots of SNL’s Biebs lifting two-pound weights.
“I’m not supposed to drink, but I do,” said Mckinnon-Bieber, before he’s seen drinking out of a children’s juice box. At the end of the first ad, Justin says, “Yo. My pee-pee’s in there,” before delivering the signature “My Calvins,” with Blue Steel intensity.
In the second ad, SNL Bieber pranked an increasingly annoyed Stone by creeping up on her and shouting; goofing around with a basketball; preening incessantly; asking “Are my muscles cute?”; moaning “Yo, all this underwear is making me tired;” crying and kicking a scooter; before making eyes at the camera and deadpanning, “My Calvins. Clothes for my big wiener,” which has somehow grown in his size XXS #MyCalvins.
The final ad sees the Biebs being wheeled out by Strong in a stroller, before asking, “Hey girl, miss me? I just had a nappy, yo.”
Cut to Bieber in full toddler-meltdown running around the set with pants down, screaming, trying the patience of “Lara” by trying to remove her pants, humping the ground, throwing money about, grabbing his crotch, and later whining, “I don’t want to wear this underwear no more,” before finally fluffing the line “My Calvins” as “My Kevins.”
Even the real Lara Stone joined the ribbing with an Instagram post on Sunday.
As the Inquisitr reported, after Bieber was revealed as the new face of Calvin Klein, TMZ and others claimed CK’s ad video footage showed the star with less “happy trail” hair than seen in his print ads and questioned the size of his package. No one really knows for sure, but multiple non-Calvin Klein pictures of Bieber do show him with pelvic hair, so it is more likely that airbrushing rather than photoshopping accounted for the “hairier” pics.
A “Before” image and Photoshop accusations from a dodgy website were later discredited, while Bieber himself addressed the furor last week by posting an Instagram photo with the caption, “Photoshop lol.”
Bieber looked ripped in the picture. But, it appears most media outlets, the general public, comics, and late night hosts are having far too much fun with the idea that the Canadian is not “well endowed” (as his trainer recently claimed) to stop mocking him.
The day after SNL’s parodies, the 20-year-old singer’s reply to the @nbcsnl Twitter, read,
“Well played. Lol.” It isn’t half bad as comebacks go. But, frankly, what else could the kid say?
@nbcsnl well played. Lol.
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) January 18, 2015