A Renton, Washington, wannabe comedian who billed himself as "Jesus Christ" obviously doesn't know how to turn the other cheek. He went on a rampage, bludgeoning the open mic host with a bat, after his offensive and ranting act was snubbed in a comedy club.
Steven Baldwin, 48, had been previously banned from at least two Seattle-area clubs before he took his revenge out on The Local 907 open mic host, Dylan Avila.
The Comedy Underground manager, James Milton, told Vocativ that Baldwin had shown up in his club in September, signing up for open mic night as "Jesus Christ." Milton says his act was senseless and filled with vile obscenities.
"It was just a bunch of schizo ranting into a microphone," says Comedy Underground Manager James Milton. "This guy was just a total psycho. I had never seen anything like it."
After the first performance, Milton barred Baldwin from performing again, but the man -- who apparently actually thought he was Jesus Christ -- kept showing up and putting his name on the open mic list.
Milton kept bumping him from the roster, and in December, Baldwin arrived at the club and started passing out a disturbing manifesto, seen in full here, to the patrons.
The rambling document gave some details of Baldwin's life, saying that he lived in a car with his cat, Black Magic, worked in an oil-change shop, frequently wrote letters to President Obama, and had dabbled in time travel.
But it mainly concerned Milton's failure to allow "Jesus Christ" to spread the word to his comedy club's audience.
"James is an atheist who likes to play God with our futures," he wrote in the manifesto. "James is a walking pr**k who needs to have a blow hole tattooed to the top of his head."
Milton confronted the man and challenged him to a fight. When the confrontation escalated, Baldwin reached into a bag he was carrying to grab an object. Milton said he was sure it was a gun, but it turned out to be a giant double-ended dildo.
Baldwin left the Comedy Underground that evening and went to another club, The Local 907, where he again signed up as "Jesus Christ" and was allowed to perform.
Avila says he took the stage holding a Bible and the giant dildo, and launched into an obscenity-filled rant about how he was the second coming of Christ.
The act bombed.
"No one laughed," Avila says. "Every crowd member and comic in the house was completely horrified."
Baldwin returned the next week, and Avila says the performance was even worse, so he banned "Jesus" from performing again.
"I've never banned anyone from my comedy stage," Avila says. "It was that bad. It was the worst thing you've ever seen—and some comedy is just awful."
Baldwin stormed out, but returned to the club Monday with an aluminum baseball bat, hid behind the stage, and attacked Avila while he was introducing an act. Witnesses said that Baldwin looked "deranged."
Audience members and fellow comics came to his defense, wrestling Baldwin to the ground. Avila says he couldn't see anything because his vision was blurry after being hit in the head twice with the bat, but he could "hear all of my friends beating the crap out of him (Baldwin).
Avila suffered a fractured skull, but luckily no brain damage. He remains in good spirits, and Raw Story reports that friends are planning benefits to help him pay his medical bills.
According to the Renton Reporter, prosecutors agree that Baldwin appears to have mental issues, similar to the doctor in this previous Inquisitr report, who claimed to be Jesus and attacked a man because God told him the man was a pedophile. Baldwin is considered by officials to be an "extreme threat to community safety in general," and has been charged with first degree assault. He is currently being held in King County jail pending arraignment on January 22.
[Image via Raw Story]