Being shot at for a living isn’t the best way to earn a buck, just ask a soldier, but a UK firm advertising for enthusiastic cannon fodder to become Human Bullet Impact Testers was pleasantly surprised when 10,000 people from all four corners of the globe applied for the post.
In an economic climate where every penny counts and a lot of people aren’t counting any, folks are scraping the bottom of the barrel just to bring home the bacon and keep the wolf from the door, but surely there’s got to be a better way to earn the devil’s dollar and bite the bullet than actually getting shot at?
Well before we get too carried away and start waving banners with ‘Human Rights’ written all over them, it’s worth mentioning that the Human Bullet Impact Testers won’t actually be having real bullets shot at them, instead, they’ll be fired at time and time again with paintballs.
The Mirror reports that UKPaintball is advertising for people to have paintballs shot at them to test their impact, and here’s the best part, they’re willing to pay £40k ($70K) a year to anybody willing to leave their pride at the door and volunteer for the privilege of being pulverised with paint.
After offering such a generous salary it’s no surprise that nearly every money grabbing masochist and his mamma applied for the vacancy, yet even UKPaintball was overwhelmed at the scale of the response.
The company states it has received 10,000 applications from people interested in becoming a Human Bullet Impact Tester from such countries as India, Croatia, the U.S. and Canada. Now why can’t the likes of your local McDonalds generate that sort of interest for the role of apprentice burger flipper?
Owner of UKPaintball Justin Toohig is delighted at the unbridled enthusiasm people have shown when it comes to getting shot.
“This incredible response is the last thing we expected when we posted the advert. We couldn’t have predicted that so many people in the UK and beyond would want to get shot for a living.
“We’ve had individuals hoping to secure the job including an ex-Army soldier boasting previous experience of guns and weaponry, a paintballing enthusiast who has indulged in his hobby all around the world and an ex-magician’s assistant who was once almost shot for real in an illusion that went horribly wrong.”
The applications themselves are pretty bizarre and reading between the lines, comments on certain resumes would appear to indicate that we are dealing with characters whose mental health and overall equilibrium would definitely not be enhanced by being used as a human target day in and day out.
Here’s a handful of the best, cherry-picked for you to enjoy at your own leisure.
“I’m a rugby player and I used to play airsoft without protection so I know physical pain. I can also break watermelon with my head.”
“I always dreamed of being face-covered by paint while screaming so I think I can be the perfect tester.”
“I am very fat – so naturally I would be easier to aim at.”
Remaining positive in a way that only someone who’s made their fortune out of paint can, Justin Toohig believes that the candidates are so amazing they deserve a freak, sorry, reality show of their own in a similar vein to X Factor.
“It’s going to be a real struggle attempting to whittle down the thousands of applicants to just one. We have been so incredibly inundated with amazing candidates wanting the job that we are now considering an X Factor-style bootcamp for the a final 10, to see just who can handle being shot for a living.”
It’s better than being fired I suppose.