Now NYPD Eat Occupy’s Pizza


The MONSTERS in the NYPD overstepped another line late last week, after it emerged some police officers ate two large pizzas and two bottles of soda that had been ordered for Occupy Wall Street protestors.

The doughy crime appears to have been committed after eight protestors dressed as Robin Hood were arrested for ‘civil disobedience.’ The protestors are demanding $30 in compensation from the NYPD for two stolen large pizzas, and two bottles of soda.

The afflicted activists were amongst a crowd of almost marching on City Hall to demand the introduction of a Financial Transaction Tax on Wall Street and a New York State millionaires tax. This, they argued, was necessary to help fight AIDS in New York and across the globe. There are 110,000 HIV-positive New Yorkers, more than any other American city.

However, when the Robin Hoods were arrested for carrying out a ‘die-in’ and allegedly blocking traffic, they say cops at the precinct ate two large cheese pies that had been ordered for them by supporters, washed down with two stolen one-litre bottles of soda. How these animals sleep at night is anybody’s guess.

The NYPD did not offer the thirsty Robins water, and claimed that precinct vending machines were completely sold out of water and soda. One of the Robin Hoods, Charles King, said:

“We could see the empty pizza boxes in the trash, and the empty plastic bottles. We confronted the officers at the precinct about stealing the pizzas and they just smiled and laughed at us and didn’t deny it.”

Police then made an offer to buy the peckish Hoods two new pizzas, but King and his fellow Robins weren’t having it:

“We weren’t touching their dirty pizza. We knew it was cheesy hush money. But some day I will have a bite of Mini Munchies, God as my witness.”

Keep fighting, guys. Keep fighting.

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