Man Gives A Cop A ‘Wet Willy,’ Narrowly Avoids Felony Charges

Remember in elementary school, when you and your friends would annoy each other by licking your fingers and sticking them in each others’ ears (a prank known as a “wet willy”)? An adult man (an airman) gave a wet willy to another adult man (a cop), and the “victim” didn’t find it funny at all. The airman who gave the cop the “wet willy” has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor, narrowly avoiding felony charges.

Early Saturday morning, 24-year-old Riley Swearingen was on leave from the Air Force and was partying it up in Mankato, Minnesota. After the downtown bars closed, Swearingen got on Mankato’s “drunk bus,” which takes intoxicated passengers home from the downtown bar district. A Mankato police officer was on the bus, talking to the driver, according to KARE (Minneapolis). Apparently Mr. Swearingen saw a cop on the bus and decided that some playground-style pranking was just the thing to cap off his night of drinking, and wet two fingers and put them in the cop’s ears.

Cmdr. Jeremy Clifton of the Mankato Department of Public Safety described the wet willy to the Mankato Free Press.

“[Two fingers] wet with saliva being pushed into his right and left ear canals, which caused pressure and discomfort.”

Swearingen then took a seat with a group of friends and bragged about his “crime.”

“I just gave the cop a wet Willy.”

Unfortunately for Swearingen, cops deal with bodily fluids all the time, and they tend to take a dim view of drunks sticking bodily fluids in their ears. And also, in the age of Ebola, putting your bodily fluids on somebody, even if it’s just a wet willy, is bad form indeed. The officer asked Swearingen what would happen to him if he gave a wet willy to a higher-ranking officer in the Air Force, to which the drunk replied that it would be a big deal.

The cop declined to have the wet willy saliva tested for Ebola – or anything else, according to the Mankato Free Press, but he did seek felony charges against the drunk prankster: assaulting a police officer with bodily fluids.

Fortunately for the drunken airman, a judge yesterday accepted a plea deal, and Mr. Swearingen pleaded guilty to disruptive intoxication, a misdemeanor, according to KEYC (Mankato). As part of his plea deal, Mr. Swearingen will have to pay $77 in court costs, according to KARE.

At the time of the “wet willy” incident, Mr. Swearingen’s blood alcohol content was.18, more than twice the legal limit.

[Image courtesy of: Deviant Art]