Switzerland’s Assassination, Kim Jong Un Might Die From Cheese Overdose
North Koreans may face constant starvation and fear of arbitrary arrest, but their leader Kim Jong Un has problems of his own. While an exchange student in Switzerland, the dictator reportedly became addicted to cheese, which has been progressively ruined his health. The dear leader’s health problems have reached the point where he now walks with a limp.
Switzerland’s service to the world.
The cheese is called Emmental, commonly known as Swiss cheese, and Kim Jong Un is so addicted to the cheese that he has it imported despite multiple sanctions.
The extent of Kim’s obesity and consequent health problems became apparent at a recent ceremony in Pyongyang. Kim Jong Un was appearing to remember the passing of his grandfather Kim Il-Sung, the founder of the modern North Korean state. Kim’s face was swollen, and the dear leader walked with a limp, according to a TV appearance.
His appearance may have honored Kim Il Song in more ways than one. The founder of North Korea was also overweight, and some have suggested the Kim Jong Un stuffs himself to keep up the family image.
As defector Cho Myung-Chu explained,
“North Koreans think being fat is good, unlike South Koreans who want to be skinny. There is a high chance Jong-un intentionally gained weight to look like Il-sung.”
Kim Jong Un has even tried to enroll North Korean cooks in European cheese making classes and sent envoys to France. The Europeans politely declined rather than having their cheese making technology stolen.
Foreign policy or luxury shopping list?
Cheese isn’t the only luxury the dear leader has a taste for. As previously reported by the Inquisitr, North Korea came out in support of Scottish Independence. The reason? So they could get a hold of real Scotch.
Of course, it’s still a long shot if an independent Scotland would ever conduct trade with the rogue state, but in the end Kim Jong Un has other ways.
Office 39, the North Korean agency responsible for foreign currency reserves, has control of an unknown number of foreign trade companies that manage to allude authorities and skirt international sanctions. That might all change soon as the agency has been struggling with management since the execution of Kim Jong Un’s uncle Jang Song-thaek, who was believed to the be the head of the financial institution.
Lifting the sanctions may do more to eliminate the dear leader than Seth Rogen and James Franco ever could.
If Kim Jong Un continues to consume Swiss cheese as at a rapid pace, the dictator may be in capable of ruling much longer.
[Image Credit: Wikimedia/wallpaperseries.com]
