Justin Bieber Isn’t Boxing Training For An Orlando Bloom Rematch But Lets Pretend He is

Justin Bieber’s infamous, and in many ways still very hilarious anti-fight with man-elf Orlando Bloom in Ibiza, will not be getting a rematch any time soon.

But, for thousands of losers around the globe whose hearts beat more joyously at the sight of Bieber boxing in a new Instagram video, hope has sparked that another day of reckoning is on its way. One in which Bloom’s “weak-a** punch” won’t be deflected by a bodyguard.

In the clip, which the 20-year-old singer posted Thursday, the Biebs is seen sparring with a mountain — otherwise known as bodyguard Hugo Hesny.

Justin captioned his video, “Not a boxer but it’s cardio and it’s fun so don’t judge me lol.”

The performer was barefoot and is seen in loose-fitting sweats for his boxing session, which took place in a kitchen of what may or may not have been his Beverly Hills rental.

Either way, the surroundings looked luxe and high-up.

Hesny, who wears probably unnecessary padding, can be seen gamely receiving the blows rained by Bieber in the 15-second clip. The session is unlikely to scare the beejesus out of Bloom, but that’s not the point.

The point is Bieber is boxing. Actually boxing. And with retro hair.

Among the flood of memes and parodies of Bloom Vs. Bieber that hit the internet after their celebrity clash, Mad magazine’s mock-up of a rematch stood out, if only for the names:

Orlando “Boom Boom” Bloom and Justin “Kid Bitchface” Bieber.

Here at The Inquisitr, we think the Canadian’s name could stand a little tweaking, to be fair.

How about Justin “Kid Belieber” Bieber?

The next thing to sort out is the rematch venue. Obviously, Cipriani is out, what with the way things were left…

And…

Orlando would probably prefer the top of an Elf mountain, lit in mystical blue. But that could get tricky for crowd seating…

The Biebs has spent a lot of time at Las Vegas’ MGM Grand Garden Arena, walking out pal boxer, Floyd “Money” Mayweather, to his next gargantuan paycheck.

He might even feel at home in Sin City.

But, is it too much? The legendary site has seen some of the best boxing fights in history go down.

What are we even talking about? Orlando Bloom Vs. Justin Bieber would dwarf the pay-per-view Mayweather earns. Las Vegas it is!

To recap: on July 30 Bieber was almost punched by Bloom at Ibiza’s Cipriani restaurant.

Reportedly, the clash kicked off after the actor refused to shake the singer’s hand. Bloom allegedly received a widely-varying, impolite response from Bieber.

One of the singer’s bodyguards deflected the would-be blow, but the boss was not amused.

Hence the Instagram intifada that followed.

Fast forward to Orlando, 37, being hailed a modern hero amid an UFC fight training offer.

Meanwhile, Justin seems to have been inspired to hone his boxing skills.

And of the Helen of Troy motivator?

Miranda Kerr, the supermodel, ex-wife of Bloom continues to post carefree Instagrams, while expertly dodging the fuss.

This is despite the fact that when Kerr met Bieber and reportedly flirted at a November 2012 Victoria’s Secret show in New York, she was a 29-year-old, married, mother-of-one – while he was just 18.

The boxing video wasn’t the only Instagram Bieber posted. A pool shot, with floaties, and an earlier message of “Lead By Example” were also uploaded by the pop/R&B star.

The written quote is likely a nod to advice sent to the “Confident” singer from the Miami-Dade County judge who accepted his in absentia guilty plea to careless driving and resisting arrest — in lieu of a DUI charge, arising from Justin’s January arrest in Miami Beach.

At the Wednesday court hearing, Judge William Altfield’s message to Bieber was a mix of stern and encouraging, according to the Miami Herald.

“He needs to be cognizant that there are many young persons living under the influence — and he is the influence,” the judge told Bieber’s lawyers. “He is the one they look up to as a role model. He has so much going for him.”

Alfield added, “He just hopefully will get the message. He will grow up. He will use his talents positively for young persons.”

The plea deal also includes Bieber completing a 12-hour anger management course, a $500 court fine and donating $50,000 to a charity — which has already been given to “Our Kids” — a local children’s organization.

Further Instagrams from the impish singer on Thursday included a posted then deleted photo of himself and on-again, off-again girlfriend Selena Gomez kissing, which did some damage to Twitter servers.

The photo share follows news of the pair’s recent dates at bible study and a movie theater.

Bieber’s caption read: “Right now everything else is a blur.”

Late Thursday/Friday morning, Bieber posted a spoof “Kimye and kid” picture, two chest-baring selfies, a biblical quote about “suffering” and getting stronger and a group picture of Team Bieber males.

These were: former “swagger coach” Ryan Good, manager Scooter Braun, Hillsong Church NYC Pastor Carl Lentz and naturally — the pop prince.

Sadly, details of an upcoming Bloom Vs. Bieber boxing rematch were not posted.

[Images via Instagram]