50 Shades of Grey Trailer Is 50 Shades Of Disappointment

Dana Hinders

We all knew it wasn't going to be easy to turn E.L. James' mommy porn bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey into a hit movie, but the 50 Shades of Grey trailer has fallen short of fan expectations.

The clip begins Dakota Johnson as a timid Anastasia Steele on her way to interview the illusive billionaire Christian Grey. The offices of Grey Enterprises look much like what you've imagined from reading the book, featuring white walls and extremely attractive blonde secretaries. Christian, wearing a grey suit and grey tie, broods as he looks out the windows of his office.

Unfortunately, this is where things start to go downhill. Leading man Jamie Dornan doesn't have the "tie me down and chain me up" sex appeal fans want from their Christian Grey. When Dornan assures us he exercises "control" in all things and is "incapable" of leaving Johnson alone, he comes across as the boy next door attempting to impress the girl of his dreams with alpha male posturing. He's easy on the eyes in a suit, but more the type of man you take home to meet your parents than the dominating billionaire that your dirtiest fantasies are made of.

Zoe Margolis sums up the thoughts of many devoted fans when she writes, "The opening images we see of Christian Grey, the leading man, are as hilarious as they are unoriginal: with faceless cutaways, we are offered up his environment as clues as to what sort of man he might be. Big man, big office, big… desk. Voiceover saying he's 'intimidating.' Ooh, scary. We see a close up of his finger tapping on his desk. Such a powerful, impatient, dominant man, can't possibly keep him waiting. Or maybe he just needs to pee?"

If you've read the books, you know that bondage/discipline and dominance/submission factor heavily into Ana and Christian's relationship. The 50 Shades of Grey trailer ends with Christian unlocking the door to the infamous Red Room of Pain, but at this point do we even care what's inside?

Although the movie might not be worth the price of admission, at least it comes with a new Beyonce tune. The singer lends a stripped down version of her 2003 hit Crazy in Love to the 50 Shades of Grey trailer. The dark, smoldering result is one of the high points of an otherwise uninspiring peek at how Christian and Ana will appear on the big screen.

What do you think? Did the 50 Shades of Grey trailer inspire you to make Valentine's Day plans to see the film or will you be spending the day at home with the book and a box of chocolates?