If you've never been privy to the hip-hop stylings of the rapper Action Bronson, then you've never heard what the hip-hop soundtrack to food porn can sound like.
With mixtapes like Dr. Lecter, Well-Done, Blue Chips I and II, and Rare Chandeliers, and then his debut EP Saaab Stories, Bronson (real name: Arian Asllani) has anointed himself the king of all things conspicuously carnivorous and culinary. Before he broke into the rap game, he was a gourmet chef in New York City. Now, the rap game's taking him into new places for food porn. Hence: F**k, That's Delicious.
"I've been around the world in two months," says Action in the trailer below, from the helm of a boat, belly hanging low. "Rappin'. Food. All I believe in is food and myself.... People probably look at me and think he's not really like a cook or a chef. This is my life beforehand, so I could probably do this shit with my eyes closed."
The first episode, premiering now on VICE's Munchies channel, is a Chronicles of Action Bronson kind of thing, cramming the show's waistline full of footage from his ongoing world tour and all the gorge-fests he encountered along the way: South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, ect. Luckily, Bronson doesn't censor himself for sake of landing a wider audience. This is the kind of uncensored silliness that has the benefit of providing the occasional snippet of unbridled food gluttony.
It catches Bronson dancing with a mouthful at a random roadside barbecue stand, admitting that "the smoke alone brought me over here." Then he's just tearing through the carcasses.
"If you're not gonna get down and dirty, and get them little niblets and entrails, then you don't know what you're doing," he says. "That's where the flavor is."
The man is a bonafide foodie resource. Believe it. Just look at one of his most recent tweets:
Pastrami = Jewish CocaineIndeed, Sir Bronson. On Action's recent hit single, "Compliments 2 the Chef," the grizzly bear in a hoodie flashes his kitchen knives at the very start: "Compliments to the chef, the baby lamb was perfect..." The man even has a song called "Steamed Broccoli." What more do you want?
— #MR.WONDERFUL (@ActionBronson) June 9, 2014
The show starts with Bronson outside Roberta's in Brooklyn, site of what he called the most legendary block party in block history. It's his old neighborhood. Then he talks about just getting back from rapping around the globe on Eminem's Rapture 2014 tour, soaking in his nomination for a BET Hip-Hop Rookie of the Year award.
Then he gets right into the food: "Now I'm 'bout to take care of business with this food. I'm hungrier'n a mothaf**ker."
Inside Roberta's, he keeps detailing the tour and assorted exploits in Eminem's "nonstop scene," as his pizza's being cut in the kitchen, his beef's being sliced, his pasta rolled out. Then he pigs out on it.
And then boom: He's bounding into the ocean off the side of a yacht, climbing back up and announcing, "I'm 320 lbs.! None of you motherf**kers are as athletic as me!"
No, Action. None of us motherf**kers are athletic like you.
New F**k, That's Delicious episodes will air monthly, featuring upcoming travels around Europe. His first major-label LP is expected out soon, so expect that to be a topic on an upcoming episode too. And have your pens ready to take down some family recipes.
"The food show allows me to share my passion." Bronson told NME. "Both my mother and grandmother were cooks, so I learned it from them."
And it won't always be rap on the soundtrack either: "I like to cook to Spanish and Latin music. If you're in the kitchen, you have to listen to rhythms, so I'd suggest bands like El Gran Combo De Puerto Rico and, if you like piano, Larry Harlow and Eddie Palmieri."
[Image courtesy of Twitter, Action Bronson]