315-Pound Randall Streeter Used Belly Button To Hide 40 Bags Of Heroin

Randall Streeter, a 315-pound man arrested in Greenville, North Carolina late last week, tried using his weight to his advantage when concealing approximately 40 bags of heroin.

According to members of the Greenville Regional Drug Task Force, Streeter allegedly stowed the bags away inside of his belly button.

“During the stop, agents seized over 150 bags of heroin in the vehicle and $1,200 in US currency,” WNCT reports, adding that “an additional 40 bags of heroin, along with crack cocaine and Percocet pills, were found hidden” in Streeter’s navel.

The 150 total bags were purchased from Streeter, and were estimated at a street value of $6,800.

During the monthlong investigation, agents seized a total of 340 bags of heroin, counting last week’s bust.

Police believe Randall Streeter has been selling large quantities of heroin from the Econo Lodge on 920 Cross Winds Street in Greenville.

He is currently incarcerated in the Pitt County Detention Center under a $1 million secured bond.

As one might expect from news that a man actually used his apparently ample belly button to hide drugs, the comment board over at Charlotte’s CBS affiliate has been going wild. Some highlights:

“Talk about a naval disaster…”

“What exactly does a 315 pound belly look like? He should have made better use of the droopy front and stuffed his stash under the folds of skin. Not even a dog has a nose strong enough to get around the scent of the belly fold stench. We’ve been cheated of a booking photo!”

“Ha ha ha!! ‘…belly fold stench…’ I believe that may be the first time in history that phrase has been used!”

“They have been cutting drugs with bad stuff for years. When they start putting belly sweat on the Percocets, though, it’s time to sober up.”

“I weigh 300 pounds, and I can’t hide a dime in my belly button. That’s gotta be a hell of an innie!”

“Did he give a discount due to the odor of the bags?”

“Did they find a TV remote control while looking?”

Low-brow, grotesque comments, for sure, but a case like this one probably doesn’t deserve any better.

Admittedly, we haven’t heard about a hiding job this gross since September 2013 when Christie Black, a 43-year-old Tennessee woman, hid $5,000 of stolen cash inside her rectum.

In that case, the hidden stash was stuck, causing Black to use “a toilet brush and tongs” in a failed effort to remove.

For Randall Streeter, we imagine the retrieval process was a lot harder on the cops.