Watch: Beats By Dre’s New World Cup Commercial Is The Most Epic Of Epics

More epic than epic.

If you were looking for a commercial to get you amped for the World Cup, well… why? It’s the World Cup! How are you not amped already? But if you were, Beats By Dre has the hottest new ad spot on the net, a five-minute epic with a hot track, hot action, hot cameos, and the hottest tournament in the world.

The spot is called “The Game Before The Game,” and it’s focusing on the lead-up to the biggest event in all of sport. As you might guess, it’s chock full of World Cup stars, Beats product shots, and views of Brazil, the country hosting the tournament. After about a minute of lead-up, we’re told “It’s important you don’t hold back,” and then a pair of Beats headphones are donned, and then X Ambassadors & Jamie N Commons are rocking your face off with their single “Jungle,” which is no doubt already shooting up the iTunes charts.

The rest of the spot intercuts shots of soccer stars from many nations with visions of fans shaving their heads, praying, cursing, watching, waiting, cheering, and screwing to their hearts delights.

Oh yeah, did we mention Beats’ new spot is a bit NSFW?

There’s Stuart Scott, tattooing, Santeria, ankle-taping, ball-juggling, and a prognosticating octopus. There’s Serena Williams, Serena Williams’ semi-patriotically-painted fingernails, Lebron, Nicki Minaj, and a sober Lil Wayne. And so many things are kissed: tea bags, wrists, soccer balls, televisions, flags, maybe Thierry Henry. It’s exhausting.

There’s also a ton of Apple products shown off in the spot, no doubt a byproduct of Apple having recently acquired Beats for $3.2 billion. Again, all kinds of synergies; somewhere, Apple CEO Tim Cook is humming to himself, “You can tell everybody, go ‘head and tell everybody. I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man.”

The spot is for Beats by Dre’s new Solo2 headphones, which totally have something to do with soccer. We typically expect this sort of commercial from Nike, which always gives us something epic when the World Cup comes around, but if Nike owns the ads around the beautiful game, then Beats almost certainly owns the Game Before the Game.