Liam Payne Meets The Fan Who Made Him Incontinent

Poor Liam Payne! It’s bad enough he has to beg fans to stop camping outside of his house but recently Liam had to face the indignity of meeting the fan who made him wet his pants.

It’s not easy being Liam Payne, the guy is hounded by hordes of hormonal teens everywhere he turns. They love Liam and Liam loves them but even the ‘Best Song Ever’ singer must need a sanctuary of sorts when the screaming and tearful One Directioners come knocking.

And knock they do. To the extent that a ‘hunted’ Liam Payne took to Twitter earlier this week and made a desperate plea for fans to back off. Well sort of. Liam Payne’s exact words to his teenage stalkers were polite with a capital PR and read: “Please don’t sit outside my house. It’s the one place I get to be myself and not have people taking pictures.”

‘Payne Heights’ as you can imagine is something of a Mecca for Liam Payne fans, although Liam’s big and burly Beyonce loving bodyguard should be enough to alleviate Mr Payne’s fears of any stray One Directioner violating his inner sanctum.

However, home is where the heart is, and it’s only natural that Liam Payne feels his invasive fans are busy breaking his.

Way back in January, Liam snapped: “Can people please stop coming and waiting outside. I’d just like to be able to walk outside as everyone does and enjoy time with my friends, not feel bad for not wanting to take a picture.

“Sorry if I’ve been rude to anyone but I’ve come to realise if I take one picture, more people keep coming every day. Hope everyone’s good.”

It’s all good in the hood Liam but what about the fan that Liam Payne recently met who once made him urinate profusely and cry quite uncontrollably.

Fair enough Liam was only a seven-year-old at the time, but some embarrassing experiences are best hidden under the nearest unturned stone or buried deep in the darkest closet.

A cheerful Liam Payne told Top of the Pops magazine: “When I was seven, a girl I really liked tickled me and I wet myself. Then she laughed, ’cause she was a lot older, but I cried and it was terrible. I actually really fancied her and I’d ruined everything.”

Not one to enthusiastically stop digging a hole once the hard graft has been put it, Liam added: “I saw her the other day, ’cause she came to our concert, so it was one of my redeeming moments: ‘You just came to my concert so now you can let me off wetting myself.'”

Consider yourself both relieved and redeemed young master Liam.