NASA Cuts Ties With Russia In Response To Putin’s Mid-Life Crisis

NASA has cut ties with all Russian representatives according to a leaked memo from a NASA employee.

Strutting around shirtless, divorcing his wife of 30 years for a woman half his age, and taking over a small, independent republic. Putin’s late-in-life, mid-life crisis appears to have created the ongoing Crimean Crisis.

The Ukraine is made up of 24 provinces and one, until lately, autonomous republic called Crimea. Back in February, pro-Russian forces gained control of the Crimean peninsula and quickly replaced Anatolii Mohyliov, Prime Minister of Crimea, with their own figurehead, Sergey Aksyonov. The new ruling party then held what many consider a rigged election, the outcome of which declared Crimea independent of Ukraine and a subject of the Russian Federation. And though the U.N. General Assembly voted 100 to 11 that the referendum was invalid, Russian forces are now sitting on the Ukraine’s eastern border. With Crimea already in Putin’s hands, is the Ukraine next?

As a result of the Crimean Crisis, NASA has cut ties with all Russian officials. This is according to a leaked memo by Michael F O’Brien, Associate Administrator for International and Interagency Relations. He released the following memo earlier today:

“Given Russia’s ongoing violation of Ukraine’s sovereignty and territorial integrity, until further notice, the U.S. Government has determined that all NASA contacts with Russian Government representatives are suspended, unless the activity has been specifically excepted. This suspension includes NASA travel to Russia and visits by Russian Government representatives to NASA facilities, bilateral meetings, email, and teleconferences or videoconferences. At the present time, only operational International Space Station activities have been excepted. In addition, multilateral meetings held outside of Russia that may include Russian participation are not precluded under the present guidance.”

Throughout history, even when the rest of the world is resorting to sticks and stones, scientists usually get along. The fact that this institutional brotherhood of science has been terminated almost completely by NASA is what some would call a very disturbing sign of things to come. It’s hard to completely cut ties since there are currently three Russians, two Americans, and one Japanese on board the Space Station. The Space Station doesn’t lend itself easily to internal warfare. Maybe all the world’s leaders need to climb aboard a Space Station for a few months. Problems solved.

With Russia depending on the US and NASA to operate many of the systems aboard the Space Station, and with the US paying Russia over 70 million dollars a seat for rides to the $100 billion dollar lab, it looks like the Space Station is the last bastion of peace, even if it is a forced peace.

God help us all if the hair piece comes out.