That’s it, internet. Go to your room and don’t come back until you’ve thought about what you’ve done. Bad internet. 

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The Wrongest Jack-O-Lanterns Of All Time is a post from: The Inquisitr

…is goatse pie.

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The wrongest pie of all time is a post from: The Inquisitr

The Holocaust. They were keeping score. (Could they have meant writer?)

Fox News labels Elie Wiesel “Holocaust Winner” is a post from: The Inquisitr

And you just got her old wedding dress? Obviously, you’re adopted.

[DamnYouAutocorrect]

Autocorrect is tainting the memory of your family heirlooms is a post from: The Inquisitr

The internet brings up some great surprises, some of them great, some of them not so great. And then there’s tragic ABBA fan, or a.k.a. “Abba Flabba Man.” When I first saw this video, I thought Star Wars Kid 2.0. Could this be the next great viral video? Only one way to check it out.

We should note that while this is safe for work, that categorization is marginal at best

The Next Great Viral Video? Tragic ABBA Fan is a post from: The Inquisitr

Yeah, very wrong, and yet it might also be accurate.

Graphjam via Pedophiles As Defined By Venn Diagrams is a post from: The Inquisitr

UK public broadcaster BBC is under fire for changing the lyrics on classics such as Humpty Dumpty and Little Miss Muffet to remove the negatives.

In the BBC version of Humpty Dumpty, the King’s horses “made Humpty happy again” instead of “couldn’t put Humpty together again.” In Little Miss Muffet, Miss Muffet makes friends with the spider rather than being frightened away.

The BBC claims that it’s not a case of the nanny state gone mad, saying that the words had been changed for “creative” purposes.

Labour MP and former minister Tom Harris though wasn’t buying the line, telling The Independent that the changes were “pathetic,” and that “This is what happens when adults try to make these kinds of judgments.”

Nanny State Gone Mad: BBC Changes Lyrics To Humpty Dumpty, Little Miss Muffet is a post from: The Inquisitr

Sorry but this is neither funny or right.

There’s zombie fun and then there’s scarring your child for life is a post from: The Inquisitr

A Dallas police officer who hit a 10 year old boy on a bike while speeding to a call out without his siren or lights on has received a one day suspension.

Sr. Cpl. Michael Vaughn hit Cole Berardi in October 2008 has he rounded a blind bend doing 69 miles (110 km) per hour on an unlit section of road.

The local police force naturally isn’t taking responsibility, with a spokesman telling local media (also picture credit) before the inquiry that “It was just a dark road, not well lit…This sounds like a combination of factors that caused the accident.”

The officer driving the car received the one day suspension not for killing the boy, but for (and you can’t make this stuff up) violating policy on using lights and sirens.

Officer who killed 10 year old boy given one day suspension is a post from: The Inquisitr

Everyone loves cats right? Well we’ve discovered a band (if that’s the right turn) that is so bizarre that it might turn you off cats for life.

Introducing the Jingle Cats, a bizarre computer generated mashup of cats and music. I’m not even sure what to say about them from this point forward because I’m that lost for words. I do however think that anti-drug advocates could use this material in their campaign against drugs, something along the lines of Acid: this is what you see.

To my horror I also discovered that the Jingle Cats aren’t a one off: there’s three other videos on YouTube just as bad as this one. Enjoy…well, don’t enjoy as the case may be.

The Jingle Cats are…are…. beyond WTF is a post from: The Inquisitr

Even wished milk could be carbonated like Coke? No, neither have I, but that isn’t stopping Coca-Cola test marketing a fizzy milk drink.

Currently available in select outlets in New York, Vio is made will skimmed cow’s milk, cream, sparkling water and cane sugar and is offered in peach, mango, berry, citrus and tropical colada flavors.

According to Coca-Cola’s marketing, Vio tastes like (and we’re not making this up) “a birthday party for a polar bear.” Given Polar Bears are known for their size, the comparison isn’t that far amiss because you’ll end up as big as a polar bear if you regularly drink Vio: each bottle contains 26 grams of sugar a bottle and 1.5 grams of fat.

According to the NY Post, Vio sells for $2.50 a bottle. There’s no word yet if or when Vio will be made available in other locations.

Dear god no: Coca Cola is test marketing a fizzy milk drink is a post from: The Inquisitr

A power company is denying responsibility for a string of electrocutions in a Missouri lake despite having corroded cables in the lake itself.

The lake has electrocuted nearly a dozen people over three years, including the death of a teenage swimmer. The most recent electrocution occurred over the Memorial Day weekend.

State officials have only now closed Spring Lake, and are investigating why residents and swimmers are being electrocuted.

Local media notes that the local power company AmerenUE is denying responsibility, despite having paid $2.3 million in damages over the electrocutions so far (they didn’t admit liability as part of the settlement.) The company though is “replacing and rerouting corroded cables around the lake,” a project the company claims is related to improving customer service and not the electrocutions….because of course corroded cables in or near a body of water couldn’t possibly have anything to do with people being electrocuted

Lake electrocutes people, power company denies their corroded cables are to blame is a post from: The Inquisitr

An Oklahoma woman has been arrested after organizing for her Jack Russell terrier to be skinned to make a belt.

Krystal Lynn Lewis and the person who skinned the dog were each charged with a felony count of cruelty to animals, and are being held of $25,000 bail each. The judge also ordered that Lewis undergo a mental exam.

USA Today noted that Lewis wanted the dog killed “because it was a gift from a female ex-lover with whom she doesn’t get along.”

Sick: woman has pet dog skinned to make belt is a post from: The Inquisitr

Islanders on the French controlled Reunion Island have been using live dogs as shark bait.

The Sun claims that “a six-month-old labrador pup was recently found alive with a huge double hook through its snout – like the dog above – and another through a leg.”

It is also claimed that local fisherman have also been using kittens!

Reunion Island is an overseas départements of France and an official region of France, giving it the same status as a province or state in other countries.

(img: The Sun)

French Islanders using live dogs as shark bait is a post from: The Inquisitr

American police have continued their fight in the War against Small Dogs by shooting dead an overweight miniature sausage dog.

11 year old miniature dachshund Killer (the name was meant to be ironic, because he was nothing of the sort) is claimed to have barked, and then lunged at an police officer in Danville, Virginia. Despite Killer’s small stature and rotund waist line, the officer choose to shot the dog on the spot, after all, you can’t trust those crafty foreign dogs with their funny names and brown fur.

Neighbors told local media that Killer was a friendly neighborhood dog that had never acted violently before. “He was just a little house dog” one said. Local police representatives are naturally saying that the war against small dogs is completely fair, and the officer was acting within department policy.

The shooting follows the shooting of a Chihuahua in Ohio earlier this week.

War against small dogs continues: police shoot overweight miniature sausage dog is a post from: The Inquisitr

Police in Blue Ash, Ohio have shot dead a Chihuahua cross dog, but only after first tasing it.

5 year old Jack was the pet of the Bullock family, who bought the dog several years ago for their now 12 year old son. While the Bullock’s were out, Jack got out, and that’s where the police became involved.

If tasing and shooting a small 5 pound dog isn’t bad enough, the way the family found out about it was worse again. On returning home, they found three bullets and blood splattered over their front porch, along with a note to call the police about their dog.

To keep this is perspective, we’re talking about a chihuahua here with zero history of violence, who lived in a home with a 12 year old child and a 5 year old, and despite coming to the attention of police for getting out, was shot none the less on the front porch of the home it lived in.

Scott Bullock told local media that he couldn’t understand why they didn’t call the SPCA. “They didn’t make that phone call other than to come scoop the dog off the porch after they shot him. Two grown men that can’t gather up a five-pound dog – and they’re trained police officers – sounds ridiculous to me.”

The police officers claim that the dog bit them, and the local police department claim that the officers handled the situation according to department policy.

Only in America.

Police shoot dead a chihuahua, but only after tasing it first is a post from: The Inquisitr

A man who raped an unconscious woman live on Stickam has been arrested and charged by police in Arizona.

The case only came to light after the woman, who was unaware of being raped, was told by friends that a video of the rape was circulating on the internet. According to BNO News, the video recorded in her bedroom shows Johnathon Richard Hock, who the victim was dating at the time, raping her live on camera. It isn’t clear from the report whether the Hock set the live stream up, or whether the camera was already on and streaming at the location.

What is perhaps more disturbing is that the rape was witnessed live, and reported to the police either as it was happening, or some time there after (but before an official compliant was received.) According to local media, the eyewitness said in a statement that Hock was “laughing and making comments”including “how the victim would never know what was happening to her because she was passed out.”

Hock has been charged with sexual assault, kidnapping and posting the video on a website without the victim’s knowledge.

Man charged over streamed Stickam rape is a post from: The Inquisitr

American psychiatrists are pushing to have bitterness classified as a mental illness.

The proposed “post-traumatic embitterment disorder” (we’re not making this up) is modeled after post-traumatic stress disorder, and would cover people who a “seething for revenge” after a trauma.

“They feel the world has treated them unfairly. It’s one step more complex than anger. They’re angry plus helpless,” Dr. Michael Linden told the L.A. Times. “Embitterment is a violation of basic beliefs,…It causes a very severe emotional reaction. . . . We are always coping with negative life events. It’s the reaction that varies.”

According to the report, around 1% to 2% of all Americans suffer from post-traumatic embitterment disorder.

(via Slashdot)

Sadly not insanity: psychiatrists want bitterness classed as a mental disorder is a post from: The Inquisitr

A Tennessee jury has found that police did not use excessive force in the case of the man who died after being tased a staggering 19 times.

The victim, 21 year old Patrick Lee was tased by police for resisting arrest outside a nightclub. Reports said that he was “acting strangely” and was under the influence of LSD at the time.

According to local reports, Lee’s parents sued the officers, the local Government authority, and Taser International citing wrongful death. The case against the local Government and Taser International were dismissed in 2006.

A lawyer for the officers claimed that they “were doing their best with the tools they were given.”

Experts warn that even being tased once can pose a health risk, and even the manufacturer Taser International states that for a subject in a state known as excited delirium, repeated or prolonged stuns with the Taser can contribute to “significant and potentially fatal health risks.”

Man tased 19 times and dies, jury finds force not excessive is a post from: The Inquisitr

Police in Gloucestershire, England have launched an anti-bling campaign in an effort to improve the local crime rate.

The campaign, titled (and we’re not making this up) “Too Much Bling? Give Us a Ring” encourages members of the public to call Crimestoppers when they see someone with too much bling, “with the aim of cracking down on those who live a lavish lifestyle on the profits of crime.”

According to these Police, those who flaunt bling may have obtained the bling through criminal means. Gloucestershire’s Chief constable Dr Timothy Brain told the Daily Mail “In the current time of financial uncertainty, those who live a lavish lifestyle with no discernible, legitimate income become even more apparent.”

The program is also encouraging people to report anyone who drives flash cars or buys expensive items without the apparent means to afford them during the credit crunch…because apparently that’s something easily done by just looking at a person.

“By flaunting their ill-gotten gains criminals signal contempt for everyone who works hard, and act as very poor role models for the younger members of society” Chief Constable Brian added.

Saying this sounds like Big Brother is really stating the obvious, and Britain is by all reports already in the grip of an Orwellian nightmare anyway. Just something else that can be added to the list.

British Police warn: be on the look out for bling is a post from: The Inquisitr