Look I know that forcible confinment combined with unwanted sex acts is no laughing matter but forgive me if I burst out laughing at this doofus robber wannabe.

It seems that Viktor Janinski decided that he needed some money and the best way for him to get that money was to break into a hair salon in a an unknown Russian city and see what he could find.

Well what he found is probably not what he was expecting as the owner of the salon, Olga Zajac a trained black belt, was still at work in the salon and proceeded to punch Viktor in the face.

Now normally you would think that the story would end here with the cops being called and Viktor hauled off to jail. It turns out though that this was only the beginning of the story as Olga decided to drag his unconscious body into the back room and tie him up, naked, to the radiator.

Like I said this was just the beginning:

She fed him Viagra and had sex with him for three days before releasing him, telling him that he’d “learned his lesson.” Once he was released, Jasinski immediately went to the cops and told them about his imprisonment.

Of course the cops then had to arrest the both of them, him for attempted burglary, and Zajac or kidnapping and other charges.

This didn’t sit too well with Zajac of course who had this to say:

“What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food, and even gave him 1,000 rubles when he left.”

Like I said earlier, don’t mind e while I sit in the corner laughing my ass off.

Robber captured and fed Viagra for three days by hair salon owner is a post from: The Inquisitr

Over in Afghanistan one of the hardest this to get is reliable intel from the many elderly warlords that populate the countryside. Many things have been tried by the CIA in order to illicit reliable and accurate information from the naturally reticent men. From the normal trinket types of things like pocketknives and tools through to medicines or surgeries for family members – they have all been tried.

While these methods produce slightly better results than promises of guns (which could easily be turned on them) to money nothing has done a better job for the CIA than the famous little blue pill – Viagra.

Not everyone in Afghanistan’s hinterlands had heard of the drug, leading to some awkward encounters when Americans delicately attempted to explain its effects, taking care not to offend their hosts’ religious sensitivities.

Such was the case with the 60-year-old chieftain who received the four pills from a U.S. operative. According to the retired operative who was there, the man was a clan leader in southern Afghanistan who had been wary of Americans — neither supportive nor actively opposed. The man had extensive knowledge of the region and his village controlled key passages through the area. U.S. forces needed his cooperation and worked hard to win it, the retired operative said.

After a long conversation through an interpreter, the retired operator began to probe for ways to win the man’s loyalty. A discussion of the man’s family and many wives provided inspiration. Once it was established that the man was in good health, the pills were offered and accepted.

Four days later, when the Americans returned, the gift had worked its magic, the operative recalled.

"He came up to us beaming," the official said. "He said, ‘You are a great man.’ "

"And after that we could do whatever we wanted in his area."

Source: Washington Post

Yup nothing like letting some old fart with a whole lot of guns under his power find out he can still get a woodie.

[hat tip to Danger Room]

Viagra – endorsed by the CIA is a post from: The Inquisitr

The dog’s owner discovered that Bentley was suffering from a deadly case of lungworm when he took the dog into his local PetVet veterinary clinic. Vet Ben Harris discovered that the parasites has spread to seven-year-old Bentley’s pulmonary artery and he was suffering from heart failure as a result. Harris prescribed the dog a course of Viagra which works by relaxing the blood vessels in the heart and lungs that have become narrow and fibrous.

According to Bentley’s owner David Roach of Church Vale, East Finchley, the drugs have not produced any unwanted side effects. “He was neutered when he was very little so he’s never had a very active reproductive life,” he said.

“He will be on Viagra for the rest of his life now,” added Mr Roach.

[picture of Bentley with Mr. Roach courtesy of Nothing to do with Arbroath]

Honestly dear the Viagra is for the dog is a post from: The Inquisitr

Researchers with the University of Milan released details of a study Monday. It indicates the old Chinese remedy — also known as epimedium — could perform the same magic as Viagra, without its undesirable side effects. They say the herb targets the same enzyme as the V-pill, only in a more direct (yes, DIRect) fashion. That could cut down on the headaches, stomachaches, and other potential problems that typically come along with Viagra use.

“Horny goat weed” has been used as an aphrodisiac for decades. This is the first time, the scientists say, it’s being expanded for — well, expansion-related purposes. The treatment is hard-ly ready for mass recommendation, though. More animal-based and human-specific tests are in the works to make sure the stuff really works as believed.

Scientists: We’ve Found The Natural Viagra is a post from: The Inquisitr