A young British man was rushed to the hospital Tuesday morning in Stevenage, Hertfordshire, after being stupid enough to try to circumcise his own dangle with a pair of nail clippers.

Regarding the so-close-yet-so-far to a Darwin Award act, Dr. Obvious told the UK Telegraph:

“This is something we would advise men never to attempt. The results can be quite horrific and long-lasting and have quite an affect on a man’s sexual performance. Using a pair of nail clippers must have caused excruciating pain, even if he had had a few drinks beforehand.”

ORLY? I neither have a penis nor attended any kind of medical training and I could tell you that much. As for why the man attempted to give his soldier a haircut in a country that does it for free, the article was sadly mum.

Okay, attempting your own circumcision is ridiculously retarded. But didn’t he at least have an x-acto knife in his arsenal of idiocy? Could anything to hand have possibly been less effective? Perhaps a nail file…

Really dumb guy attempts DIY circumcision with nail clippers is a post from: The Inquisitr

“If I am going to speak, it will come from me. It’s 140 characters. It’s so few characters. If you need a ghostwriter for that, I feel sorry for you.” Shaquille O’Neal.

Twitter is the hot social service networking this year, but how social is it really? We’ll if your an ex-Apple executive and VC by the name of Guy Kawasaki, it’s apparently not all that social, because it’s a marketing tool that is best complimented with ghostwriters

“Why does it matter who is doing the tweeting? Either the content is good or not good. I’d rather follow a smart intern tweeting for a CEO than an dumb CEO tweeting for himself or herself. Twitter is great that way: Everybody, no matter who they are, gets 140 characters. Then you have to earn your followers and keep earning their allegiance with every tweet.” Guy Kawasaki

The problem here is that Kawasaki sees Twitter as a content platform vs a social networking platform. Stowe Boyd: “Connectedness is king: it’s social media, right? The social is supposed to equate to real live human beings communicating with each other. Not ‘bots, and ghosts, and things that go bump in the night.”

The New York Times deals with who is using, and not using ghostwriters here.

To quote someone who DM’d me about this yesterday (not sure if I can disclose the name) “why follow guy when we don’t even know when its really him?”

Why indeed.

If it’s good enough for Lance Armstrong, Shaq or Ashton Kutcher to use Twitter directly, why not an ex-Apple executive?

I’d also rather see a poorly written Tweet from a company CEO or celebrity than a polished ghostwritten one if that tweet reflected a real connection, not a canned response. Celebrities are using Twitter to communicate directly with fans, cutting out the middle man and making real connections, but for some, once a tool, always a Twitter fail.

Twitter fail: the rise of the ghostwriters is a post from: The Inquisitr

My one error is that I called him an ebook salesman, he doesn’t sell ebooks, he sells membership packages to services that include promises such as “Want a ton of links & traffic?” and sign ups to other people’s services. Oh, and the packages are “multimedia courses” (example) not ebooks, so my mistake. The pitch in his emails looks similar to those from people selling ebooks, not might I add that there is absolutely anything wrong with either as a business. I’ve had the pleasure of corresponding with a couple of high profile people in the ebook and affiliate space, I won’t name drop, but there a plenty of good and really smart people in this broader space doing amazing things. I read and follow what a lot of people in this space are doing because as someone who worked in marketing and has a degree in marketing, I love seeing the different things they put together and the often amazing salescopy. I might be one of the few people on the planet who subscribes to these email lists because I love the marketing art of them.

Now note that I didn’t slight nor slander Reese once, but I know when someone like him sends an email out telling people to get on Twitter because the traffic is “far greater than the traffic from Facebook or any other “Web 2.0″ service” then people who don’t play by the rules are going to start flooding Twitter with spam because John Reese told them that’s the new traffic goldmine. Ignore the 1 second he added about playing by the rules, etiquette, blah blah blah…. The first 5 paragraphs of his email are dedicated to talking about Twitter as a great driver of traffic and why people should sign up now. Then there’s mention that people should see what’s acceptable and follow etiquette…but he doesn’t necessarily spell out that people shouldn’t be spamming it.

I’d also note at this juncture that the post was actually really about Twitter, not about Reese. Any regular reader of this site knows that I’ve been following negative Twitter stories closely for weeks. This is one post in a long line of negative Twitter stories (and I’d note, Twhirl is once again reporting : limit exceeded, paused 5 min…grrrr).

What I didn’t perhaps know when I wrote the post is that Reese may actually be delusional and not altogether there up top. In an overboard, bizarre and rambling response, Reese claims that Web 2.0 wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for people like him…and I’m not paraphrasing here, it’s in the title of the post.

Reese goes on to clam that I should have read his email. I not only read it, I printed it:

If you haven’t yet created a Twitter account you’re really missing out.

This service has exploded in growth in the past few months and I don’t see it slowing down anytime soon. There are now MILLIONS of users and it’s becoming mainstream.

I’ve been running some interesting tests and I’m already seeing some great traffic results — far greater than the traffic from Facebook or any other “Web 2.0″ service.

Facebook and the others certainly have their place, but Twitter is more powerful. At first I didn’t really “get it” but now I do and my traffic stats don’t lie. IT WORKS.

As a communications tool, Twitter is probably only 2nd to Email right now. It’s a great way to network with people as well as to drive visitors to any of your sites, blog posts, etc.

BUT DON’T WAIT…

Create a Twitter account NOW and start ‘following’ people you want. Others will eventually follow you in
return.

That’s how it starts. Then there’s the magical line. The line that apparently makes Reese a saint who has done no wrong.

Observe how others post and you’ll quickly learn the culture, etiquette, and uses for Twitter.

One line.

I wont reprint the rest of the email because its mostly instructional, but the important thing to note: there is no mention of don’t spam Twitter. No mention again of learn the rules, be a good Twitter member. Plenty of instructions about adding people and going viral, but zero instruction about how not to simply spam Twitter.

And even here, we are presuming that people read past the first few paragraphs as well. Most don’t. Most will read “Twitter = traffic” and that’s exactly what they’ll sign up to Twitter for.

More bizarreness:

Hehe. I love the irony in the fact that Mark created his post based on a blog title that contains “Pending Sign Of The Twitter Apocalypse.” Great use of hyperbole, Duncan. I actually think that title rules!

Yep, that’s a post title about how completely screwed up Twitter is given months of downtime and completely clueless management. Indeed I’ve even followed with other posts themed on Revelations from the bible. And they didn’t involve Reese. They are all about Twitter….or perhaps Reese in his delusions believes everything anyone writes is really about him?

Where next? It’s hard to pick from the long self important ramble that is Reese, a guy who I might add actually writes decent sales copy who I’m still getting email pitches from.

To paraphrase: Reese believes that internet marketers made 2.0 and that there is some great, vast conspiracy against people like him (someone please pass the bong). Apparently Web 2.0 wouldn’t exist without guys like him and us non-marketing commies should so some respect…or something like that (more bong please).

So lets get end of the world!

The survival of Ideas, Sites, Services, and Companies on the Web are ALL dependent upon the activity from Internet marketers. I just wish more people would start to realize it.

Someone call Zuckerberg + Brin and let them know. Fake Steve Ballmer, are you reading this? Even Fake Jerry Yang?

I didn’t bag Reese’s profession, even if I disagreed with him pitching Twitter as a traffic tool and really nothing else. I certainly didn’t deserve the complete crap he’s dished in return, and although I may not have had any opinion of him before today, I certainly do now.

Web 2.0 Exists Only Due To People Like John Reese. Show Them Some Respect Now is a post from: The Inquisitr