The Inquisitr » the onion

Onion: Car crash victim tragically not Glenn Beck

Kim LaCapria — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:14:08 +0000

There is no harder thing than to have Glenn Beck outlive your child…

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Classic: New video game that consists of shooting people in the face

Duncan Riley — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 01:42:59 +0000

The team at The Onion has scored a home run with their latest report on a new computer game that solely consists of shooting people in the face at point blank range.

The graphics may offend some people, but wait for the hook towards the end.

Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face

Onion Writer places joke up for Auction on eBay. No, Seriously

Duncan Riley — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 11:00:50 +0000

From a writer for America’s Finest news source comes America’s finest auction: one genuine joke:

My name is John Harris, and I am a staff writer at The Onion, America’s Finest News Source. I am selling a joke that I can’t find a contextual home for. To be fair, it’s less of a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper’s Index. If that didn’t make you barf, please continue reading.

The item in question will be clearly hand-printed on a 3×5 index card and mailed to the winning bidder upon receipt of payment. It has never been used, and the buyer assumes all responsibility for any consequences that might stem from sharing this joke, including the dissolution of friendships and romantic relationships due to loss of respect. The bidding will start at $0.57 so I can at least recoup the cost of the stamp and the eBay listing charge.

Please keep in mind that, due to the nature of this item as well that whole aphorism about accounting for taste, this is very much a caveat emptor-type transaction. In other words, no refunds.

Bidding at the time of writing has passed the $100 mark. You can follow the auction here.

(via Donklephant)

Conservative sites call for Onion boycott over offensive veteran video

Duncan Riley — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 03:21:53 +0000

Conservative bloggers are calling for a boycott of satirical newspaper The Onion over a video that makes fun of disabled veterans.

The video titled “How Can We Make The Iraq War More Handicap Accessible?” offers a mock panel discussion centered around “moves by the Pentagon” to return any soldier with non-fatal wounds to the front line, and talks about handicapped enabled armored vehicles and facts such as you don’t need legs to fly a plane.

Right wing and milbloggers are calling for a boycott of The Onion and its sponsors over the slight, which they see as a step too far and insensitive towards disabled military veterans.

Here’s the video in question. I’m neither, nor do I know any disabled military veterans so I’m not in the best position to judge, although as is not unusual for Onion videos, its not in the best taste. What do you think?

Try Billandbobs Adventure and Hooahwife for a taste of why they’re upset.

Onion News Network Goes International

JR — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:14:14 +0000

The Onion News Network — a video-based, broadcast version of the popular print/online publication — is about to become available in the U.K., Europe, and Asia. The Onion has landed a deal with MyVideoRights.com to distribute its U.S.-centric content internationally, based on what it calls an “unprecedented [global] interest” in America’s presidential election this year, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

I’ve been watching some of The Onion News Network’s stuff for a while now, and let me tell you — it’s hilarious. If you’re a fan of The Onion, or a fan of any other fake news type of show (”The Daily Show,” anyone?), you’ll almost definitely get a kick out of it. Some recent clips include a report entitled “John McCain Accidentally Left on Campain Bus Overnight,” another called “First Openly Gay Racehorse to Compete,” and — one of the more entertaining ones — a morning news show interview, “12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer to Give Women Breast Exams.”

The Onion has been creating the video content since last March. I personally hadn’t paid attention to it until I connected my TiVo to my WiFi network recently and started getting the content there, but now I’m totally hooked. The stories aren’t all winners, of course — some are funnier than others, as would be expected — but next time you’re bored at work, it’s well-worth a browse through the clips. Just be sure to keep your speaker volume low.