The guys — from New Berlin Eisenhower High School, in the aptly named town of “Pewaukee,” Wisconsin — evidently let it all fly in front of parents, students, and the other team during a game’s halftime this week. And fans in the stands saw it all. (And, for some reason, decided to take pictures of it.)

The school has decided to suspend the players and their coach for one game. But complaints are still, erm, streaming in. Some parents say the team should be required to clean up the field as a punishment.

As for the teens’ story, they say the bathrooms were locked earlier in the day and they didn’t know what else to do. Evidently, walking 10 more steps to avoid whipping it out in front of the crowds didn’t come to mind.

Pewaukee TV station WTMJ wasted no time dispatching crews to cover this late-breaking story. Their report is below.

Football Players Punished For Mid-Game Urination is a post from: The Inquisitr

The officers, he says, told him they believed someone was using his IP address “to distribute harmful information.” He says when they took the computer, they claimed it was because of “suspicion of downloading pornographic material.” He was later told the fine was a result of the “computer network and Internet safety protection administrative regulations.”

The case gets fairly convoluted, but long story short, officers eventually indicated that the charges had to do with the fact that the clip was downloaded via BitTorrent. That, they suggested, could “provide seeds for others to download” the material in question.

The whole thing has stirred up a media storm in the region — and, according to news reports, has turned the guy into somewhat of an Internet star. Following the online outcry, police ended up cancelling the fine. They maintained, however, that a law had been broken, and said they would “impart a punishment of criticism and education.”

In response to that, the man told local reporters the following:

“There really wasn’t any criticism. Mostly it was that I should try not to watch so much porn in the future.”

Uh, right. Lesson learned?

Man Fined For Having Internet Porn is a post from: The Inquisitr

Police in Pennsylvania had been looking for the guy since March. He’s accused of snatching two monkeys from the Wild World of Animals in the town of Eighty Four. He’d be on the run for months since missing a court date this past spring.

Then came the previously untapped primate power of MySpace. A prosecutor looked up the accused monkey man’s page and discovered he’d posted his new phone number and address there. (The page wasn’t even set to be private.) Authorities used that info to easily find him and arrest him.

The moral of the story: If you steal monkeys and run away from the law, make sure your MySpace page is set to “private” before posting your contact information. Otherwise, you’ll end up being the one in the cage playing with his own poo.

MySpace Helps Track Down Suspected Monkey Thief is a post from: The Inquisitr

The 15-year-old evidently logged on and noticed that he didn’t have the same level of access he used to. So, like any normal kid, police say he beat the living hell out of his brother with a cane, then went after his mom with a knife. Officers say he only pushed her, though, and never actually used the blade. What a nice young lad.

The kid’s now facing charges of battery and aggravated assault. Of course, the jail guards are going to be in for a rough surprise when this little bugger discovers that his cell isn’t Web-enabled.

Internet Restrictions Inspire Attack, Police Say is a post from: The Inquisitr

For an extra fee, you can get your final farewell broadcast across the entire Web. Have some relatives who don’t want to make the journey? Let them watch from home! Want to digitally immortalize the moment to relive over and over at the click of a button? You’ve got it!

Now, to be fair, this place isn’t the first to try the idea — though it’s far from a widespread practice.

Is it a bad idea? Not necessarily. It is, after all, putting technology to a new and modern use — albeit it in an odd sort of way.

Still, for some reason, the whole thing leaves me with a bit of a weird feeling. Maybe there are some places where technology shouldn’t go. Maybe this is one of them.

Any thoughts?

Cyber Funerals Hit the Net is a post from: The Inquisitr

The guy’s plan seemed simple enough: He marched into an adult video store in Colorado and told them he was there to check out the x-rated videos and make sure there were no underage performers. He even went as far as to flash a badge and leave a business card stating he was with the “age verification unit” of the local police force.

Mr. Inspector tried to get free videos on three separate occasions, but the store didn’t fall for it. They called the real cops, who are now using surveillance tape to try to find the fella.

The man is described as 5 foot 6 with long black hair and a noticeable stiffy.

Have You Seen the Porn Inspector? is a post from: The Inquisitr