Doctors at the Mayo Clinic have urged men to chill out and accept their dicks as-is in a “sexual health” release aimed at fellas who may fall prey to penis-enlargement scams.

The internet in particular is awash in remedies to augment your member, but the Mayo Clinic docs say there is not any “scientific research [that] supports the use of any nonsurgical method to enlarge the penis — and no reputable medical society endorses penis surgery for purely cosmetic reasons.” According to the site, your John Thomas is probably just fine the way it is, and they offer stats to prove it:

The average penis measures between 3 and 4 inches (7.6 to 10.2 centimeters) when it’s not erect (flaccid) and between 5 and 7 (12.7 to 17.8) centimeters inches when erect.

A penis is considered abnormally small only if it measures less than 3 inches (7.6cm) when erect, a condition called micropenis.

(Does anyone else think they could have come up with a less-damaging name for the condition than “micropenis?”) The doctors also say that most female partners are unconcerned with penis size, and that “having a penis that’s too large can be a disadvantage. During intercourse, the tip of a long penis can strike a woman’s cervix, causing her pain or discomfort.”

The entire release can be viewed here, but if you get an email promising a bigger wang, it’s probably not on the level.

[via]

Doctors: “Your penis is adequate, stop messing with it” is a post from: The Inquisitr

How does typing the word “Dong” not put anyone on high penis giggles alert?

[sofapizza]

Unintentional erections in the news is a post from: The Inquisitr

Like “how’s it hanging?” is any better?

[Damn You Autocorrect]

Autocorrect: Because you were thinking it anyway is a post from: The Inquisitr

As a native New Yorker, subway flashers can sometimes seem as commonplace as subway maps.

The first time you see it, you’re completely horrified and cannot conceive of such an event occurring in polite society in public in the middle of the day. Did that man just not only expose his penis on the C train, but also rub up against me? The second time, you’re a combination of grossed out and pissed off, and by your second week in New York, you’re kind of over even noticing it.

Sometimes, even as an old, hardened, dick-witnessing New Yorker, it still can catch you off-guard. I remember being particularly annoyed by an otherwise normal older-teenager sunning his cock at me down the steps of the Houston Street 1 train as I passed on the sidewalk, and berating him. Usually, the many New Yorkers who witness this are about as moved as they are by the sight of taxis, puddles or $15 movie tickets, but this particular woman was having one of those, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take the sight of your penis on the train anymore!” days.

Witness her public smackdown of this particular subway flasher- it’s kind of cool how the other people join in and laugh at him:

[HollabackNYC]

[Video] Woman goes ballistic on subway flasher is a post from: The Inquisitr

The Tea Partiers are going to have a field day with this.

[accidental penis via thedailywh.at]

Barack Obama’s signature looks like… is a post from: The Inquisitr

Oh, I see.

[Probably Bad News]

Pic: Why isn’t health insurance reform passing? is a post from: The Inquisitr

If you’ve seen an episode of HBO’s Hung and the title didn’t clue you in, you know the show basically depicts a world that actually does revolve around the main character’s huge dick.

Via Copyranter comes this suggestive billboard from New Zealand, where the show has yet to premiere. Breasts have been used to sell things probably since the first beer ad was scrawled on a cave wall. It’s less common to see the target gender (or sexuality) reversed like this.

Could you see a concept like this flying (or dangling, as the case may be) in Times Square, like right where that steaming Cup O’ Noodles billboard was? Are you not dying to know what the planning and execution sessions to get this produced were like? Is this the crowning glory of some ad exec’s portfolio? And also: penis.

Billboard for HBO’s ‘Hung’ in NZ may have invented massive wangvertising is a post from: The Inquisitr

A young British man was rushed to the hospital Tuesday morning in Stevenage, Hertfordshire, after being stupid enough to try to circumcise his own dangle with a pair of nail clippers.

Regarding the so-close-yet-so-far to a Darwin Award act, Dr. Obvious told the UK Telegraph:

“This is something we would advise men never to attempt. The results can be quite horrific and long-lasting and have quite an affect on a man’s sexual performance. Using a pair of nail clippers must have caused excruciating pain, even if he had had a few drinks beforehand.”

ORLY? I neither have a penis nor attended any kind of medical training and I could tell you that much. As for why the man attempted to give his soldier a haircut in a country that does it for free, the article was sadly mum.

Okay, attempting your own circumcision is ridiculously retarded. But didn’t he at least have an x-acto knife in his arsenal of idiocy? Could anything to hand have possibly been less effective? Perhaps a nail file…

Really dumb guy attempts DIY circumcision with nail clippers is a post from: The Inquisitr

Mark Wahlberg was pictured in Venice doing a “Prince William” and relieving himself against a wall. Because they have no toilets in Venice, obviously.

We guess his “funky bunch” aren’t that much of a handful, because he is doing it one handed, with a cigarette and bottle of water in the other. Just Gross!

See the full picture of Mark peeing on the wall below.

Image credit Splashonline.com

Mark Wahlberg gets out his Funky Bunch and wees against a wall is a post from: The Inquisitr