Odd Day: What to Do?

So what’s one to do on Odd Day, other than generally being awed and saying lots of “oohs” and “ahhs”? The folks over at the official Odd Day Web site have some suggestions:

It’s a great day to do your odds ‘n ends, give a friend a high-five, root for the odds-on-favorite, read the Wizard of Odds, watch the Odd Couple, say aaaahd in the doctor’s office, look for sea odders, find that missing odd sock, and beat the odds.

If those things don’t strike your fancy, you can always just talk about how awesome it is to have odd conversations about Odd Day. Try to work in as many “ahhh” sounds as you can — it’s far more fun that way.

Odd Day Contest

Extremely odd behavior could win you the odd sum of $579. The odds may be against you, but hey — it’s worth a shot.

OddDay.net will hand out the cash to the largest and oddest “parade of odd characters,” as well as to the people who writes the best “odd ode” and comes up with the most creative Odd Day celebrations. Head over to OddDay.net to learn more.

For some inspiration, we leave you with this Odd ode, written by the oddballs at OddDay.net:

As Odd as it is, the day will be fine,
You see, it’s the numbers 5,7, and 9.
Three odds in a row to tell you the date,
We’ve only three more, then a 90-year wait.

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A Florida lawyer named James Harvey Tipler has been disbarred by the state for providing legal services in exchange for, well, other “services.” Tipler evidently let an 18-year-old woman “work off her legal fees” by working it, so to speak, according to recently published reports.

How much is sex worth in the law world, you might be wondering? The woman’s bill, for an assault-related case, was said to be $2,300. Tipler, local media outlets report, credited off $200 each time she had sex with him — and $400 each time she arranged for another woman to have sex with him. That’s rather insulting to her, isn’t it?

Tipler pleaded guilty to soliciting prostitution. It didn’t stop there, though: An investigating board apparently found he also charged excessive (non-sexual) fees, altered evidence, arranged false testimonies, and actually stole money from clients.

If only he’d somehow known those things were frowned upon…

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Pet Airways

The idea behind Pet Airways is to give animals a satisfying flying experience across America. The airline will take pets from coast to coast, seating them in the main cabin and “catering” to all of their needs.

“With Pet Airways your pet will be safe and comfortable, flying in the main cabin, not in cargo,” the service assures. “From check-in at our Pet Lounge, and throughout the flight, our Pet Attendants will be caring and catering to all your pet’s needs. You can even monitor how your pet is doing.”

Wow. All that for only $150 a flight, to start. Pet Airways won’t transport people, either — only pets will be allowed on its planes.

Pet Airways’ flights will go from Los Angeles to the East Coast. It’ll also have stopovers in Denver and Chicago.

Woof.

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A man has just been sentenced to three weeks in jail for relieving himself on another passenger during a flight to Honolulu. The plane-peeing fellow, 28, apparently stood up, whipped it out, and just started going on the lady in the next seat. He was charged with assault.

The Continental flight was heading from L.A. to Honolulu when the in-flight urination occurred. The woman, 66, was watching a movie when the waterworks began. She says her vacation was ruined and she’s still suffering emotionally from the ordeal.

As for the guy, his only excuse was that he’d been drinking.

His name, by the way, is Jerome Kenneth Kingzio. If you ever find yourself sitting next to him on a plane, request a new seat immediately.

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The Motorized Bar Stool

Investigators say Wygle — who lives in Newark, Ohio — used the motorized bar stool to scoot around his neighborhood after throwing back a few too many. He crashed while out and about on the thing, which is powered by a motorcycle engine and controlled with a lawnmower steering wheel.

The motorized bar stool is said to go as fast as 38 miles per hour, though Wygle told police he was only going 20 when the wreck happened. He was taken to the hospital with minor injuries. Officers say he stated he’d had 15 beers before the crash, though he refused to take a blood-alcohol test.

Wygle pleaded not guilty to the charges and has requested a jury trial.

Motorized Bar Stool Video

The following video, from a Newark news station, goes into more detail about the incident and the nature of the charges.

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(Click images to enlarge)

60-Foot Phallus

Rory McInnes, 18, was apparently inspired by the endowment of the famous “Cerne Abbas Giant” — the massive carving of a naked guy on a hill in Dorset, England. McInnes says he spent half an hour replicating a particular part of the carving, and here’s the kicker: He did it a year ago. No one else knew about it until now.

“It’s an April Fool’s joke, right?” the boy’s father asked The Sun when contacted. It seems a chopper pilot was the first to find and photograph the, er, work, and let the British media know about it.

Crime and Punishment

The boy, now traveling in Brazil, laughed when his parents called. He may not be laughing for long, though: The father says he’ll be giving his son a scrubbing brush when he gets back, along with the task of removing the paint on his own.

Until then, though, it looks like any area roosters will have an oddly appropriate place to sing their morning songs.

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Jerry Jalava, who lives in Finland, embedded the USB drive into an existing prosthetic device. The so-called “finger drive” can store up to 2GB of data, and — needless to say — is always on-hand when Jerry needs it.

“When I’m using the USB, I just leave my finger inside the slot and pick it up after I’m ready,” he says. “Currently, I have Billix, CouchDBX, and Ajatus installed inside it.”

Jalava says he’s already working on a 2.0 version of his USB “finger drive.” The next model will include an RFID tag and will also be easier to detach at will.

More photos follow. Click any image to enlarge.

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Shoe Camera Spying

Investigators say Polizzi attached a small camera to the tongue of his shoe, then went into the Aqua East surf shop in Neptune Beach, Florida (near Jacksonville). Polizzi apparently cut a two-inch hole into his shoe, then pointed the lens up through it. Officers say he stood next to the dressing room and put his shoe under the door as women tried on swimsuits.

Three women noticed the unusual shoe and reported it to authorities. One said she was in the dressing room and fully nude when she saw the shoe poke under the door.

Shoe Camera Arrest

According to local media reports, Polizzi fled from the store when he was confronted. An officer waited until Polizzi returned to his car, and — following a short chase — took Polizzi into custody. They say he still had the camera attached to his shoe.

Jeffery Polizzi was sentenced to four months in jail.

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McDonald’s 911 Call: No McNuggets!

The woman, a 27-year-old named Latreasa Goodman, told police the McDonald’s didn’t have any chicken nuggets and wouldn’t give her her money back.

“The manager just took my money and won’t give me my money back, trying to make me get something off the menu that I don’t want,” she said on the phone. “”I ordered chicken nuggets. They don’t have chicken nuggets, and so I told her, ‘Just give me my money back,’ and she tells me I have to pick something else off the menu.”

When police suggested to Goodman that her issue might not be an emergency, she responded:

“This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one. This is an emergency.”

The McDonald’s, by the way, issued an apology and said it would make sure Goodman got her money back. She may need it, too: Police arrested Goodman on charges of misusing of the 911 system — and odds are, that kind of criume results in a fine slightly higher than $1.99.

McDonald’s 911 Call Audio

Click on the player below to listen to the nearly five minutes of audio from the three McDonald’s 911 calls.

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(Click images to enlarge)

Cat in a Bong: The Full Story

Officers in Lincoln had gone to Schomaker’s home to arrest him on a warrant for marijuana possession. They tell local media outlets they were shocked at what they saw when they went into his home.

“I have never seen anything like this before,” Lancaster County Chief Deputy Bill Jarrett tells KETV.

The bong, built from Plexiglas, was about as big as a shoebox and was taped shut, seemingly to help keep the smoke inside. Officers say Schomaker told them his cat was high-strung, so he had put it inside the bong to “keep it calm.” He indicated he had placed the cat in the bong “several times” before, investigators say.

Shadow the Cat

Police describe the cat — a six-month-old kitten named Shadow — as being “lethargic” and “somewhat in a sleeping state.” Shadow is now being treated at an animal shelter, where he is also being tested for any potential health issues. The Lincoln-area Humane Society is attempting to gain custody of the cat so it can put the animal up for adoption.

Schomaker is charged with animal cruelty, which could result in as much as a year of jail time. If the cat dies or is found to have any lasting health effects, KETV reports, the charge could be upgraded to a felony — which could give Schomaker as much as five years behind bars.

Cat in Bong Video

The following news report shows video of the cat found in a bong, as well as further detail about the incident.

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Police say Genine Compton had the baby in her lap while she was driving her other children to school in the city of Kettering, Ohio last week. Officers report she was also talking on her cell phone.

“If my child’s hungry, I’m going to feed it,” Compton said during an interview with a Dayton-area television station.

She then started breast-feeding her baby. On-camera. During the interview. We’re not making this up.

Video follows. Compton could face up to 180 days in jail from the charges.

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Elaine Davidson: World’s Most Pierced Woman

Elaine Davidson didn’t need the new piercings for record purposes–she got into the Guinness Book of World Records back in the year 2000 with the comparatively miniscule 462 piercings. At the time, just under 200 of those were in her face.

As for her current 6,005 piercings, Davidson tells the Telegraph more than 1,500 of them are “internal.” (We are thankful she did not elaborate on that.)

Davidson works as a nurse in Edinburgh. She also recently opened a piercing studio in Darlington, Durham.

Elaine Davidson Video

The following video, from summer of 2008, shows Davidson a couple thousand piercings ago. It includes an interview with her about her unusual body art.

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The Topless Coffee Shop

Grand View Topless Coffee saw plenty of protests prior to its opening this week. But so far, owner Don Crabtree says business has been promising.

“We want to keep the girls respectable, not trashy,” Crabtree tells the local paper. “The biggest thing is keeping people happy.”

As such, the topless cafe makes its rules clear: You have to be over 18 to get in, you can’t take photos, and you can’t touch the gals.

The Topless Cafe Staff

To be fair, Maine’s topless coffee shop isn’t just for the fellas’ eyes: Three of its 10 waiters are guys (who, you guessed it, also walk around without shirts). Clearly, though, it’s the female exposure grabbing most of the attention. One of the topless waitresses tells the Morning Sentinel she had one customer who came in, gulped down his coffee in minutes, handed her a $100 bill, then left–all without saying a single word.

“I love it,” one of the girls tells the paper. “I find it very empowering, not degrading.”

Crabtree tells the media a full 150 people lobbied for the jobs. Only 10 were hired.

Right now, the Grand View Topless Coffee shop serves up donuts ($2 each) and regular New England Coffee ($3 a cup). You can get any cup size you want–just don’t ask for the milk.

Topless Cafe Video

The following report shows video inside the Grand View Topless Coffee cafe, including interviews with some of the employees.

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Largest Stingray: Nearly 800 Pounds

The stingray — which was five times Welch’s weight — measured 7 feet long by 7 feet wide. Its stinger alone was 10 feet long. Welch needed the help of a dozen men just to lift the thing out of the water.

“It dragged me across the boat,” Welch, 45, tells The Mirror. “I knew it was going to a big one. As soon as we saw it there was just silence. Everyone was in awe of this thing.”

Welch says it took a full 90 minutes to bring the nearly 800-pound stingray in. He and his team soon learned the giant stingray was actually a pregnant female. They released the massive creature back into the water.

The previous record for a freshwater fish caught with a rod, The Mirror reports, was a 646 pound catfish caught in 2005.

Giant Stingray Video

Welch and his fellow team members have brought in plenty of record-breaking stingrays in the past. The following videos show their struggle with another mammoth-sized stingray recently in the same Thailand river.

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The guys — from New Berlin Eisenhower High School, in the aptly named town of “Pewaukee,” Wisconsin — evidently let it all fly in front of parents, students, and the other team during a game’s halftime this week. And fans in the stands saw it all. (And, for some reason, decided to take pictures of it.)

The school has decided to suspend the players and their coach for one game. But complaints are still, erm, streaming in. Some parents say the team should be required to clean up the field as a punishment.

As for the teens’ story, they say the bathrooms were locked earlier in the day and they didn’t know what else to do. Evidently, walking 10 more steps to avoid whipping it out in front of the crowds didn’t come to mind.

Pewaukee TV station WTMJ wasted no time dispatching crews to cover this late-breaking story. Their report is below.

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The officers, he says, told him they believed someone was using his IP address “to distribute harmful information.” He says when they took the computer, they claimed it was because of “suspicion of downloading pornographic material.” He was later told the fine was a result of the “computer network and Internet safety protection administrative regulations.”

The case gets fairly convoluted, but long story short, officers eventually indicated that the charges had to do with the fact that the clip was downloaded via BitTorrent. That, they suggested, could “provide seeds for others to download” the material in question.

The whole thing has stirred up a media storm in the region — and, according to news reports, has turned the guy into somewhat of an Internet star. Following the online outcry, police ended up cancelling the fine. They maintained, however, that a law had been broken, and said they would “impart a punishment of criticism and education.”

In response to that, the man told local reporters the following:

“There really wasn’t any criticism. Mostly it was that I should try not to watch so much porn in the future.”

Uh, right. Lesson learned?

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Police in Pennsylvania had been looking for the guy since March. He’s accused of snatching two monkeys from the Wild World of Animals in the town of Eighty Four. He’d be on the run for months since missing a court date this past spring.

Then came the previously untapped primate power of MySpace. A prosecutor looked up the accused monkey man’s page and discovered he’d posted his new phone number and address there. (The page wasn’t even set to be private.) Authorities used that info to easily find him and arrest him.

The moral of the story: If you steal monkeys and run away from the law, make sure your MySpace page is set to “private” before posting your contact information. Otherwise, you’ll end up being the one in the cage playing with his own poo.

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The owner says she just had to fire every single male employee at her establishment — because they ALL had been caught having repeated intimate relations with female guests. Tourists. Visiting to sun themselves at the nearby beaches. In small bikinis. Which they readily removed.

The owner told Reuters she’d “been facing the same problem every year.” The most recent case, she says, ended when she noticed her bartender “walk out of the bathroom with a British tourist.” Hey, at least he shut the door.

So I already had my application filled out and my passport ready, but then I noticed the disappointing part of the story: The owner is now hiring only female staff members as a solution. Damn.

There’s gotta be some kind of discrimination lawsuit we can file to get around that, right?

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The fabric, developed by AgResearch, is made from a material called Vectran. It’s described as an “ultra-high strength liquid crystal polymer” and is said to be able to resist any type of penetration by a knife. Plus, it’s comfortable, breathable, and — we can only assume — quite fashionable.

The stab-proof fabric’s protection doesn’t stop with blades, though: It’s also flame-proof. Seriously. In fact, Monday, its makers plan to take a blowtorch to the fabric while it’s on someone to prove their point. We look forward to that video hitting YouTube.

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Sound crazy? Check it out: A British bank customer says he wasn’t pleased with his bank, Lloyd’s TSB, so he changed his banking password to “Lloyds is pants.” Brilliant insult, if I don’t say so myself.

But things only get funnier from there. The guy says he soon discovered a bank staff member had changed the password — to “no it’s not.”

So our fella, of course, tried to change it again. This time he opted to go with “Barclays is better,” referring to a competing British bank. He says, though, the system wouldn’t let him; he had mysteriously been locked out of changing the password at all. And when he called the bank, he says they wouldn’t let him change it back to “Lloyds is pants,” either — because they thought it was inappropriate.

“I asked if it was ‘pants’ they didn’t like, and would ‘Lloyds is rubbish’ do? But they didn’t think so,” he told the BBC.

Our saucy lad asked if he could change it to “censorship,” but the bank shot that one down too.

The bank has since apologized and says the employee who made the initial change no longer works there.

What a load of pants.

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