The Inquisitr » Hills

Oldie-but-Goody: Heidi’s “Barbie” to Wear Heidiwood?

Meieli Sawyer — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:00:45 +0000

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s quest for domination continues: they somehow managed to convince Mattel that they’re good people to immortalize in doll form. Heidi’s makes more sense, since she’s already cut to the chase and embraced a little plastic herself, but family-hating Spencer must have worked some kind of magic:

“Spencer revealed that he and Heidi have talked to Mattel stating, ‘We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie.’”

Why would a kid want to play with this? Do kids know what The Hills is? Surely there aren’t enough collectors out there. . . right?

Image: WireImage

What The Hills Taught Me (Season 4, Episode 3): Stephanie Looks Odd

Meieli Sawyer — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 00:45:50 +0000

Were you just totally, 100% happy with the fact that Lo didn’t make a surprise appearance in last night’s version of The Hills? At first I was like “What’s with The Hills?” and then I realized: my New Spencer was missing! And, come to think of it, so was Audrina. That was my favorite drama of the season so far, too.

Instead we were treated to terrible Spencer Pratt. Poor de-sistered Stephanie: she just wants to be friends with her own brother (even if that’s probably best left alone) and she wasn’t looking so good, either. Her face seems super-round, only emphasizing her deer-in-headlights expression, and I want to like her because she seems real (for The Hills, mind you). Unlike Whitney’s incredible good luck, great wardrobe, evil-b*tch boss taming, and magic guy-getting skills; what the F? Naked male models, surprise dates. . . lucky doesn’t begin to describe it.

At least my predictions came true: Lauren really is a terrible dater. I knew it.

Oldie-but-Goody: Lauren Conrad Rakes It In

Meieli Sawyer — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:05:52 +0000

The Hills salaries explained! I’ve always been curious how much Heidi and Spencer make, since they’re so flash and obviously Heidi’s (ahem) invested in herself quite a bit since the first episode.

According to an In Touch source, Lauren gets paid the most at $75,000 per episode, and “If you bring drama, you’ll get more money.” If that’s the case, Spencer should really be the one leading the pack, salary-wise!

However, the secret source revealed that “The only reason LC gets paid more than anyone else is because she demanded in her original contract that no one could ever get paid more than her.”

Well, I guess I’ll have to drum up some extra resentment since I’ll still be watching it tonight.

Things I’ve Learned from The Hills: Season 4, Episode 1

Meieli Sawyer — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:23:30 +0000

Heading on 21+ hours later, I’ve still got The Hills on the brain. I’ll spare you the details of how many times I’ve streamed and dissected the episode and the live after-show (so you don’t make fun of me), but here’s what I’ve got stuck in my craw post-Hills:

1. Lauren “Lo” Bosworth’s asymmetrical bang-fringe is out of control. Her part is so far over it looks like half her head is shaved.

2. Heidi and Spencer need to break up. I know it’s not going to happen, but since when can your boyfriend/fiance insult your sister (Hair Extension Holly) and get away with it? Guts he’s got, good manners not so much.

3. Speaking of rudeness, how could Lo insult Audrina Patridge to her face and then look like the victim just because Audrina says something assertive (for once)? “We’ll never be friends”? OMG. Not everyone’s passive-aggressive all the time. And look! Lo’s still defending herself.

Click Through for More of What I’ve Learned. . .

4. Lauren Conrad is an awkward dater. Why else would she invite love interest Doug out to Audrina Patridge’s guaranteed-to-be-awkward party? Lauren’s life is drama-rife already; couldn’t she have spared him?

5. Heidi Montag’s fabulous quotes continue. Last season it was “Old Water Under the Bridge.” Now it’s “You are, like, Early Bird. We are Late Birds.” Less improv, please– I never thought that I’d call for scripted Heidi, but that’s what she needs.

6. Despite #5, I like Heidi Montag a lot more now. She’s still skipping out on work, but she did it for her sister’s arrival yesterday. I thought that she was too self-absorbed to care. But there she is, bonding with her sister and even inviting her to move in with her and flesh-beard (Spencer).

7. It’s not the end of Justin-Bobby, from the looks of Season 4 Episode 2+ trailer. I feel your pain.

8. I hope that Whitney Port doesn’t disappear in this season. Yes, she has a new boyfriend, but I hope this season isn’t Lauren and Whitney acting “busy” while standing up in what looks like a slightly uncomfortable work environment. More lunching, please!

No idea what I’m talking about? I recommend you watch the hot mess that was Season 4: Episode 1.

Watch Out, Lauren Conrad: Heidi Montag Will Take Your Place

Meieli Sawyer — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 22:04:38 +0000

Perfectly timed with her new single “Overdosin’” (which is “about when you fall in love with someone, and you’re just overdosing off of their love”), Heidi Montag has taken the opportunity to tell PEOPLE exactly how much she’d like to rip that throne right out from under her Hills comrade L.C.. How comforting. I think this is why she’s not invited to the after parties anymore. Behold:

Montag: “I think that maybe Lauren is tired of [being on the show], but we’re just beginning.”
Pratt: “Sometimes the narrator has to throw their hate up on the wall and pass the mic. It’s my favorite show. I love it. The Hills season 10 is what I’m going for.”

DUH, Spencer-with-the-flesh-beard. It’s like the best meal ticket ever and your key to things like 12 million dollar houses.

If I were Lauren Conrad, I’d be a little scared. These two seem like the type to stop at nothing to get what they want (which is money, obviously).

Don’t forget that The Hills will be on tonight, folks! Not like MTV is letting me forget.

The Speidis Make 3 Mill in Two Years

Meieli Sawyer — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 18:54:47 +0000

Would you do something ridiculous for 3 million dollars? I would: ruin my fashion sense, make me say stupid things, even make me sing if I’ll be getting a payout like that. I suppose that puts me in the same boat as Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of The Hills, who have more or less sold out and cashed in.

According to In Touch Weekly, the couples’ major appearances, photo shoots, and “business deals” have led to their sizable 1.5 mill a year salary.

“We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives,” Heidi confirmed in the In Touch blog.

Perhaps In Touch should review how much of their income was generated by tabloids alone. . . including their own. Nothing can beat the Spencer-Heidi-US Weekly threesome, though. Is everything they do a “cover story”?!

Um, don’t answer that.

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