Wait, what? That doesn’t even make any sense.

MTV’s popular reality show Jersey Shore, which is basically The Real World with a gas-tanker full of orange tan lotion and a whole bunch of Scarface memorabilia, now has an app for your iPhone. The Jersey Shore iPhone app includes a bunch of guido-centric activities to help you become your orange skinned, spiky haired best. Functions include a name generator to select a name for you that would be in line with Pauly D, The Situation, JWOWW, and Snooki; a ”fist pump challenge” to ensure you’re doing it right and a pickup line generator, which is pretty self explanatory.

Because you can’t rush perfection, the Jersey Shore app is a work in progress. Upcoming features for the app include a feature to “catch a fake tan,” too. Might I suggest push notifications for when the guy who punched you in the face in a sleazy Jersey bar is released on bail?

Inevitable: Jersey Shore iPhone app hits is a post from: The Inquisitr

This does not appear to be a parody.

You’ve seen the memes. The orange skin. The quadruple popped collars on demotivational posters. And having been born and raised on Long Island, I can exclusively confirm they exist.

Witness below, the guido in its natural habitat. Guido Beach (for realz) down the shore in New Jersey. In this fascinating six minute clip, you will gain insight into their plans to “breed” more bouncers and the females of the species sparring over a male. Some NSFW language.

Video: Guido Beach, mating season is a post from: The Inquisitr

Meet Ross from Scotland. Ross does something that makes him stand out from his fellow pale skinned countrymen: he paints himself orange.

Ross is the Scottish version of a Guido, and has appointed himself the No. 1 male Barbie in Scotland (because Barbies are orange…well, maybe in Scotland.) Ross tells a television crew that he believes you can never be too orange, and that you can never wear enough fake gold jewelry.

If this was Ireland we’d say leprechaun, but we’re going with Oompa Loompa instead. Here’s Ross the Scottish Guido:

Real life Oompa Loompa spotted in Scotland is a post from: The Inquisitr