I would forgive this clogging up my friend feed.

[Lamebook]

Isn’t technology amazing?

[Spotted on Digg]

See, it’s not all penises. This video shows a guy randomly doing piano improv bits on Chatroulette.

Okay, it’s still mostly penises, but don’t next me, dude.

Ha ha ha… oh.

[Lamebook]

MoveOn.org, the progressive political advocacy group formed in response to the impeachment of President Clinton, has a new video satirizing Glenn Beck.

The funniest part of it is that- well, without giving the surprise away, it’s different for everyone. Using Facebook Connect, it crafts a different Becktastic experience for every viewer. If you’d like to view your version of the video, go to beck.cnnbcvideo.com and authorize it to link up to your Facebook account.

The video is very cleverly done- don’t forget to check out the sidebar to see all the “related links” in Glenn Beck’s latest crusade. While it is certainly funny, it also makes a good point about the dangers posed by this kind of alarmist “journalism.” Beck’s devoted viewers will often buy into his theories and are moved by his sob-fests. Under the guise of objectivity, Beck has presented many similar, crazy theories in the past about people and things he wishes to malign.

What did you think of the effort? Hilarious satire or vicious socialist plot against Glenn Beck?

Samsung created what is almost a PSA about Myspace Angles. Clip below:

Primary cause of Anatidaephobia? Aflac ads…

[Friends of Irony]

When Conan O’Brien tweeted last week that Sarah Killen’s life was “about to change,” despite all the Team Coco fervor, I was a bit skeptical.

But change it certainly did. To catch you up, Conan got into a bit of a real life flame war with NBC over their Indian giving of his lifelong dream gig as host of “The Tonight Show.” Coco quit with full support of the internet, and Jay Leno looked kind of like an overflowing bag of douche forever more. (Especially given that Leno is about as funny as testicular cancer. Which is to say, not at all funny.) Conan, a New Yorker lost in the wilds of Los Angeles (a fate worse than death for real New Yorkers), has picked up a Twitter account since and a sizeable following, documenting his experience since joining the ranks of the unemployed.

On the 5th, Coco tweeted:

I’ve decided to follow someone at random. She likes peanut butter and gummy dinosaurs. Sarah Killen, your life is about to change.

He followed up with:

Sarah likes Twizzlers and craves cantaloupe. I like Raisinets, but melon feels creepy in my mouth. Twitter pals 4 eva!

In the days since Conan friended Killen (@lovelybutton), she’s amassed over 18,000 followers (up from three) and gotten a whole boatload of swag for her trouble. Popeater interviewed the lucky Twit, and here’s a snippet:

How has this affected your life?
It has really helped out. I haven’t had anything negative happen so far. I’m getting married on September 25, and we didn’t know if we would be able to afford it. Now I’m getting custom made shoes and a dress from Kelima in New York. They offered a gown in exchange for promoting their favorite charity, the Children’s Hunger Fund. We’re getting a limo, Classic Creations is giving us wedding bands and there’s a vineyard in California sending us wine. We’ve got it all covered now…

Is Conan invited to your wedding?
Absolutely. My fiance wants Conan to be his best man. That would be really cool. And hey, if he wants us to come on his show, we’d get married on there. That would be fantastic.

Sarah says she’s not ready for the hype to die down yet, and is considering starting a charity. You can follow Sarah too, she’s @lovelybutton.

[via Gawker]

Last night’s The Daily Show did a great bit explaining Chatroulette in a segment featuring a Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer, Keith Olbermann, TDS staffers Wyatt Cynac and Jason Jones, and most hilariously, a sheepish Brian Williams.

Stewart basically informed the six people who might not know that Chatroulette is roughly 98% penis and 2% hilarity. Clip below:

In most places, and sort of fun to be had with the exterior of a house is quickly decided against due to boring as hell neighbors.

And all manner of ruckus is raised when home exterior standards are not adhered to- particularly heated homeowners association (look at me, I own a home!) battles make the news a few times a year, and it’s the odd person who hasn’t had something pointed out by a “helpful” neighbor if they don’t hop right to raking or mowing.

So while the images below, trompe l’oeil tarps that are designed to overlay garage doors, are cool, the likelihood of neighbors not hating your guts for employing one would be ridonkulously low.

There’s one for the upwardly mobile:

People who just find the idea of a clean garage amusing:

One for disco fans:

Something to piss off PETA:

And the truly bizarre:

You can see all the options here.

[Dvice via snopes]

Good to see our favorite digital characters keeping up with the trend for tweeting. This exclusive set of videogame characters’ Twitter accounts, includes dinosaur and faithful Mario-carrier Yoshi (above), Zelda hero Link, and Street Fighter’s Ryu.

Clearly, somebody in CollegeHumor Towers has been spying on my Ryu technique for Street Fighter II.

Hit the CollegeHumor link for two more.

[CollegeHumor, via Geekologie]

Thanks, Daddy!

[Failbooking]

In a show of hands, who among us has not hopped on to an open network when desperate for an internet fix?

Generally, the response if unsuccessful is “oh, bummer, these jerks locked their wireless.” Meet Jennifer. Jennifer, at first glance, seems to think that everyone in the world can get access to the internet through what she believes is called a “Linksys.” After a bit of prodding, Jennifer admits that she knows she’s stealing internet habitually, but purchasing her own DSL is price prohibitive. (As an aside, I don’t agree with the “internet as groceries” analogy. I would say signal theft is more akin to standing on your neighbor’s porch every day and reading by their porch light.)

This video has clocked nearly half a million views since it was posted Saturday, and it does raise some important points about secure transfer of data and your internet habits. While Jennifer’s attitude is irritating in its entitlement and basic lack of understanding of how ISPs work, her general stupidity is also a reminder to use open access points sparingly and carefully. That said, while I’d be happy to securely share a signal, I wouldn’t want Jennifer using my wireless because she sounds like a bit of a spoiled douche.

As I’m in the midst of a Foursquare trash-talking battle of epic proportions over mayorship of a local eatery, I quite enjoyed this clever rap cover of Jay-Z and T.I.’s “Swagga Like Us.”

It keeps the M.I.A. hook, but substitutes lyrics about check-ins, badges and Foursquare cheating for Yankee caps and rocking designer threads.

Well, it sounds believable, doesn’t it?

Okay, maybe not. Googlers were fascinated today by a classic American triumph of hope over the rules of nature, a hot dog that braved the elements buried under the Coney Island boardwalk- in a block of ice, no less- to remain intact and recognizable, a relic of better times when our Kenyan president wasn’t trying to put socialism in the frankfurters.

Questions CNN may not have thought to ask- how did the block of ice survive a place where subways regularly top over ninety degrees starting in May? For over a century? The offending video report, a work of journalism from my own local news channel, Long Island’s News 12, appears to have been pulled from CNN’s website. But the story remains, having ricocheted across blogs and other news sites, all fascinated by the tale of the miracle wiener. (And I managed to grab a screenshot, above, that could have fooled the most intrepid of reporters.)

It appears the hoax wasn’t mean spirited, merely an homage to the gritty, PT Barnum-esque atmosphere of the Boardwalk. Tricia Vita, a spokeswoman for the Coney Island History Project, explained the prank:

“(Milton) Berger was a veteran of the Damon Runyonesque school of Broadway press agentry and the last of the Ballyhoo Boys,” she said in a release. “Before he came to Coney Island in 1952, his fellow publicists always remembered that Milton Berger got a man to sue a barber claiming he had ruined his toupee giving his a haircut, the idea of course being that the toupee was so good, it even fooled the barber.

One thing that didn’t surprise Vita was that the story had legs:

“I was surprised in the beginning at how many people believed it was true,” she said. “But after reading all the buzz about it on Twitter and the Internet, I’m not really that surprised because people want to believe these types of things are true.
“

If this is the guy’s real name, a well placed comma makes it a total naming fail.

[Image]

Via Gawker comes this funny clip from Jay-Z on BBC One’s Friday Night with Jonathan Ross.

Wherein Hova discusses Valentine’s Day, Skype sex and how he actually invented the hand-shaking “put a ring on it” dance. He also casually busts out, “yeah, I’m not gonna tell you that” at least once, and declines the presenter’s offer to “freestyle” with him.

-1 for old joke, +2 for audacity.

[Digg]

High profile movie dude + Twitter + arbitrarily applied and embarrassing policy = PR nightmare for Southwest Airlines.

Portly pepperpot Kevin Smith, genius behind the Clerks films and prolific internet user, did the Twitter rant proud last night when he was booted from a Southwest Airlines flight from Oakland to Burbank for being too chubby. Smith relates that he was comfortably in his (single) seat, armrests down and ready to fly when he was approached by staff of Southwest Airlines and removed from the flight. While Smith certainly isn’t svelte- he ain’t “rhino in the aisle seat” fat either. C’mon, Southwest, really?

While Smith could have been any fatty, anywhere, Southwest happened to pick on a big dude with a bigger Twitter following. Unlike many who have been subjected to the policy Smith refers to as “sizeist,” Smith didn’t shuffle off the flight in quiet, red faced shame- he give his 1.6 million Twitter followers a play by play- go, Kevin!

The wind up:

Dear @SouthwestAir – I know I’m fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?

The pitch (condensed from a few tweets):

Dear @SouthwestAir, I flew out in one seat, but right after issuing me a standby ticket, Oakland Southwest attendant Suzanne (wouldn’t give..last name) told me Captain Leysath deemed me a “safety risk”. Again: I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet. But if I am, why wait til my..bag is up, and I’m seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who’d already I.d.ed me as “Silent Bob.”

Smith wasn’t even afraid to throw his own work under the bus to make a point:

So, @SouthwestAir, go fuck yourself. I broke no regulation, offered no “safety risk” (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?). I was..wrongly ejected from the flight (even Suzanne eventually agreed). And fuck your apologetic $100 voucher, @SouthwestAir. Thank God I don’t..embarrass easily (bless you, JERSEY GIRL training). But I don’t sulk off either: so everyday, some new fuck-you Tweets for @SouthwestAir.

Smith sent out a bat-phone warning to other Fat-Americans as well:

Wanna tell me I’m too wide for the sky? Totally cool. But fair warning, folks: IF YOU LOOK LIKE ME, YOU MAY BE EJECTED FROM @SOUTHWESTAIR.

He also told Southwest they “f*cked with the wrong sedentary processed-foods eater,” and pointed out the inconsistency in policy:

(1/2) @pigz “I know several people bigger then u who have flown on other airlines” I saw someone bigger than me on THAT flight! But I wasn’t (2/2) about to throw a fellow Fatty under the plane as I’m being profiled. But he & I made eye contact, & he was like “Please don’t tell…”

Kevin Smith, our doughy Sir Lancelot. The ranting continued, and you can get the full anti-Southwest tirade on Smith’s Twitter feed, ThatKevinSmith. The angry tweeting continued, even after Smith landed on a later Southwest flight:

The @SouthwestAir Diet. How it works: you’re publicly shamed into a slimmer figure. Crying the weight right off has never been easier!

Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank. Don’t worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.

Later tweets point out that Southwest’s later hand-wringing on Twitter seemed largely due to Smith’s celebrity pull and not his shoddy treatment at the hands of cabin crew. Southwest’s rep on their official Twitter feed replied several times about the incident, and posted about it today on their blog. However, one wonders if it was just Joe Twitteruser who’d been subject to the same public shaming, would the airline have responded as quickly? Certainly not as publicly, but would they have been as concerned?

Update: Southwest’s blog is finally somewhat accessible- full text of the public apology to Kevin Smith, below:

Many of you reached out to us via Twitter last night and today regarding a situation a Customer Twittered about that occurred on a Southwest flight.  It is not our customary method of Customer Relations to be so public in how we work through these situations, but with so many people involved in the occurrence, you also should be involved in the solution. First and foremost, to Mr. Smith; we would like to echo our Tweets and again offer our heartfelt apologies to you.   We are sincerely sorry for your travel experience on Southwest Airlines.

As soon as we saw the first Tweet from Mr. Smith, we contacted him personally to apologize for his experience and to address his concerns on both Twitter and with a personal phone call. Since the situation has received a lot of public attention, we’d like to take the opportunity to address a few of the specifics here as well.

Mr. Smith originally purchased two Southwest seats on a flight from Oakland to Burbank – as he’s been known to do when traveling on Southwest.  He decided to change his plans and board an earlier flight to Burbank, which technically means flying standby. As you may know, airlines are not able to clear standby passengers until all Customers are boarded. When the time came to board Mr. Smith, we had only a single seat available for him to occupy. Our pilots are responsible for the Safety and comfort of all Customers on the aircraft and therefore, made the determination that Mr. Smith needed more than one seat to complete his flight. Our Employees explained why the decision was made, accommodated Mr. Smith on a later flight, and issued him a $100 Southwest travel voucher for his inconvenience.

You’ve read about these situations before. Southwest instituted our Customer of Size policy more than 25 years ago. The policy requires passengers that can not fit safely and comfortably in one seat to purchase an additional seat while traveling. This policy is not unique to Southwest Airlines and it is not a revenue generator. Most, if not all, carriers have similar policies, but unique to Southwest is the refunding of the second seat purchased (if the flight does not oversell) which is greater than any revenue made (full policy can be found here). The spirit of this policy is based solely on Customer comfort and Safety. As a Company committed to serving our Customers in Safety and comfort, we feel the definitive boundary between seats is the armrest. If a Customer cannot comfortably lower the armrest and infringes on a portion of another seat, a Customer seated adjacent would be very uncomfortable and a timely exit from the aircraft in the event of an emergency might be compromised if we allow a cramped, restricted seating arrangement.

[Image from @ThatKevinSmith, caption: Hey @SouthwestAir! Look how fat I am on your plane! Quick! Throw me off!]

[Dontevenreply.com, via Geekologie]