The Inquisitr » funny

Your design monkey has quit unexpectedly

Kim LaCapria — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:53:18 +0000

The above pic has been making the rounds, and has been strangely divisive in this worker unfriendly economy.

Originally spotted on Reddit, the screengrab was posted by a co-worker of the guy who supposedly wrote it with these comments:

He believed he was in a temp-to-hire position, and after three months of extra hours and butt-kissing, turns out it’s just a temp position. He was a good worker too. I’d have recommended him. Too bad he burned his bridges… Obviously he had contemplated quitting long enough to make this thing, but still refused to speak to anyone about his feelings. Ironically, he complained about the ‘divas’ at his last job.

Veracity aside, is it that shocking that someone who was lead to believe they might be in the clear job-wise is spitting mad after realizing they’ve been mislead for months? Jumping through hoops for employers taking advantage of a terrified labor force is pretty rage-inducing. Do we really need to be grateful for the opportunity to be abused by these kinds of schmohawks? The OP seems to think so:

I’m literally in the same position he is, just one of a small team of temps, trying to survive until the next paycheck. I haven’t made over $30K in three years, last year I made $20K, year before that I made $17K, so yeah I’m a little callous when somebody walks off a decent-paying job because he’s not getting hired this time around.

[via Gizmodo]

Venn diagram: Obama vs. Bob the Builder

Kim LaCapria — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:20:12 +0000

Dora and Boots unavailable for comment.

[GraphJam]

Facebook listening fail

Kim LaCapria — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:51:04 +0000

Facebook: no matter how sucky your life gets just remember- no one is listening there, either.

[Lamebook]

Pic: Homework accuracy

Kim LaCapria — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:52:38 +0000

You know the teacher totally didn’t appreciate the effort.

[via Digg]

Early Christmas Fail

Kim LaCapria — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:00:02 +0000

Who gets better toys, the naughty list or the nice list?

[FailBlog]

Pic: Dear Criminals

Kim LaCapria — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:15:25 +0000

Voicing the frustration anyone who’s spent $250 on a window broken for $0.64 in change and a half a Kit-Kat, this man calls out the dick who broke his ocarina.

I feel you, dude. My driver’s side window still isn’t the same owing to the week and a half I lived in Newark.

[Digg]

Wireless network name fail

Kim LaCapria — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:29:04 +0000

No seriously, we totally can.

[FailBlog]

Popular Twitter feed scores TV, book deal

Kim LaCapria — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:42:47 +0000

One of the more consisently funny Twitter accounts is @shitmydadsays, a young man’s collection of the random, hilarious things his cynical, elderly father says.

The @shitmydadsays Twitter account, populated by 29-year-old Justin Halpern, went viral in late August and currently has upwards of 700K followers. Halpern hit the social media lottery this week, with the feed being optioned by CBS to become a sitcom produced by David Kohan and Max Mutchnick of Will & Grace fame. TV isn’t the only opportunity opening up for Halpern- Harper Collins signed a book deal with Justin last month based on the feed as well.

While a sanitized network TV adaptation of the elder Halpern’s no holds barred style of speaking will almost certainly suck, it’s definitely an interesting development for internet humor and popular Twitter feeds. If you’re one of the few who hasn’t read Justin’s dad’s tweets, here’s a sample:

“Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn’t invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that.”

“I hate paying bills… Son, don’t say “me too.” I didn’t say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of “go away.”

“Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it.”

“You worry too much. Eat some bacon… What? No, I got no idea if it’ll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.”

“I need to change clothes? Wow. That’s big talk coming from someone who looks like they robbed a Mervyn’s.”

“You sure do like to tailgate people… Right, because it’s real important you show up to the nothing you have to do on time.”

“Just pay the parking ticket. Don’t be so outraged. You’re not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked.”

“That woman was sexy…Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won’t screw you, don’t do it for them.”

“Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don’t waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down.”

“I wanted to see Detroit win. I’ve been there. It’s like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news.”

“We didn’t have a prom. Dancing wasn’t allowed…What’s Footloose?…That’s the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of shit.”

Google answers your burning questions

Kim LaCapria — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:29:59 +0000

Sadly, it’s not a search result by accident- it’s the name of a book by Vanessa Feltz. (Yes, the book is actually titled What Are These Strawberries Doing on My Nipples, I Need Them for the Fruit Salad.)

Still a funny surprise for Googlers this side of the pond.

Whose fans are douchier, Yankees or Phillies?

Kim LaCapria — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:27:14 +0000

The Daily Show went into the trenches of douchbaggery to find out which fans are the douchiest.

While Yankees fans held their ground, Philly edged ahead to snag the douchiness cup.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c

Clash of the Cretins

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

[Via Huffington Post]

Onion: Car crash victim tragically not Glenn Beck

Kim LaCapria — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:14:08 +0000

There is no harder thing than to have Glenn Beck outlive your child…

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Casually emasculating your spouse via Facebook update

Kim LaCapria — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:30:24 +0000

Dude’s got a point, though.

[Lamebook]

Watching your surroundings fail

Kim LaCapria — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:06:07 +0000

You’d think as a runner you might expect runners to be running on tracks, had you spent much time running on tracks in your running tenure…

Awesome mashup: Notorious B.I.G. vs. Thomas the Tank

Kim LaCapria — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:27:24 +0000

If the Island of Sodor had projects… (Warning: video has some NSFW language.)

KFC marketing goes off the reservation, crashes UN

Kim LaCapria — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:41:16 +0000

That picture, above, is actually a KFC marketing stunt. (That worked or failed, depending on your definition of “fail.”)

Actor Robert Thompson, dressed as the iconic Colonel Sanders, got as far as posing for a picture with President of the UN General Assembly Ali Treki, before his presence was detected and he was ejected from the area. (The actual Colonel Sanders, who invented the secret Kentucky Fried Chicken recipe, has been dead for nearly 30 years.)

The stunt is part of the ceaseless campaign to promote KFC’s grilled chicken, and involves KFC “lobbying” the UN to admit their new “Grilled Nation” to be accepted as a UN member state. (Okay, that’s kind of funny and clever.)

The fast food giant has written to (UN secretar-general Ban) Ki-moon personally asking for grilled chicken lovers to be be represented at the assembly, in a letter dismissed by Mrs Montas as “absolutely void.”

For reasons unknown at this time, a UN security guard escorted the actor into the secure area:

“It should not have happened – that I will stress, and very strongly,” Michele Montas told Canwest News Service, the Canadian news agency.

“There was some lapse in security and the individual in question was, on the initiative of one security guard, taken into the UN.”

[via snopes]

Targeted ad fail

Kim LaCapria — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:33:16 +0000

…or demand stimulation win?

[via FailBlog]

Facebook group “I Automatically Hate the New Facebook Homepage” is mocking you

Kim LaCapria — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:56:30 +0000

And in not many people are getting the joke.

Ostensibly to mock the hundreds of Facebook groups that spring up in the presence of any change at all in the Facebook GUI, someone’s gone and created an (all-caps) group called “I AUTOMATICALLY HATE THE NEW FACEBOOK HOMEPAGE.” Not surprisingly, most who joined isn’t really getting the joke, although the group’s mission statement is pretty sarcasm heavy:

I HATE CHANGE AND EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH IT

I WANT EVERYTHING TO REMAIN STATIC THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE LIFE

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WANT FROM THINGS I CANNOT CONTROL

BY LOGICAL DEDUCTION I AUTOMATICALLY OPPOSE THE NEW FACEBOOK STREAMING HOME PAGE

And then…

IF I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS GROUP IT IS NO LONGER FUNNY

Even though it’s right there that it’s clearly mocking the Facebook uproar every time a minor change is applied, that doesn’t stop the uproar. Wall posts include:

I thought mine had broken yesterday, this is just a load of crap – WHY OH WHY do they have to f.ck about with it. can’t follow any thread properly, and have missed replies and posts sent directly to me!

yeah, this sucks. why couldn’t they leave everything the same, i doesn’t even make sense. and when they decide to change it back, i vote for a dislike button too!

Hate is so bad I could not be emphatic enough to describe how much I hate it!!!!!!!!!!

it was NOT broke !!!! why did you try to fix it,at least explain it so we all get it !!!!!!

And to whoever is clearly listening and cares about my personal opinion about Facebook, if I have to pay for it, I’m out of here!

Old people pranks…

Kim LaCapria — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:45:31 +0000

…youth is fleeting, but being a dick is forever.

Video: Cassetteboy vs. Nick Griffin vs. Question Time

Kim LaCapria — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:41:38 +0000

A YouTube remix with the subtext of last night’s Question Time. Hilarious.

Giant seagull invades Aussie news broadcast

Kim LaCapria — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:38:18 +0000

Apparently the Mars-like sandstorms aren’t the only sci-fi plagues walloping Australia- a news broadcast appears to show a giant seagull looming over a background of Melbourne.