Grooming your lady garden is a challenge at the best times, requiring all manner of gymnastics and special tools to get the task at hand accomplished.

37-year-old Megan Barnes was convicted on a DUI charge the day before she was arrested after a two-car crash- in which officers discovered the woman lost focus on the road because she was shaving her bikini area. Cops say she tried to conceal the fact that she was the driver, swapping places with her ex-husband after the accident. Police at the scene uncovered the subterfuge when airbag marks on the ex-husband’s body weren’t consistent with driver side airbag deployment:

“She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Trooper Gary Dunick said. “If I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot … who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, ‘Nothing will ever beat this.’ Well, this takes it.”

So to recap, the woman was shaving her hoo-ha in the car with her ex-husband, who was driving her to a date with a new man. But he wasn’t driving, he was just there. To watch the shaving? Could they not have made the switch before the hair removal started, considering the whole “banned from driving for a DUI” thing?

[KeysNews.com]

FL woman crashes car while trimming bikini line is a post from: The Inquisitr

The following comes from an email I received; I can’t confirm the results with the site which doesn’t seem to have been updated since April, but even if they aren’t the final Darwin Awards 2008 winners, the list is worth sharing.

Ninth Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Eighth Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who totally zoned when he ran, accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Seventh Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Sixth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fifth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Fourth Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

Third Place
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

Second Place
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham’s leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham’s foot was never located.

Winner
German Zookeeper, Friedrich Riesfeldt, fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him

Darwin Awards 2008 is a post from: The Inquisitr