Who would have thought the rapper who out-dirty-mouthed Jay-Z in the seminal 90s hit “Ain’t No *****,” later went to prison for assaulting a nail tech over her tips and who faces more jail time for throwing hair glue at a beauty store employee would end up fellating a man on a fuzzy internet sex tape? Not I, and that track has a permanent place in my iTunes top 25 ever.

Foxy Brown (born Inga Marchand in New York holla!) is the latest celebrity to fall victim to the whole bj-on-a-cameraphone trick, with a short clip making the rounds of Foxy servicing an unidentified man in a less than enthusiastic fashion. The clip is being unimaginatively tagged “Superhead” or “Foxy Brown Superhead” in what I imagine is a reference to Superbad. Wikipedia says Foxy’s got an album coming out later this year, but unlike other strategic leaks, it’s not close to the (as of yet unannounced) release date for Black Roses. And I’d imagine if Foxy was in any way behind this, she’d pick a clip that was more… flattering.

While I can’t say for sure if it’s Foxy, the woman in the clip certainly looks like her. If you want to see for yourself, you can view the short clip here- although, I feel honor bound to mention it is certainly not safe for work .

Like we reported months ago, there’s a sex vid starring Britney Spears floating around somewhere. According to Adnan Ghalib (the co-star and supposed owner of said tape), who spoke to The Sun recently, Britney was filmed prancing about in her pink wig on a Mexico vacation, and he’s ready to release it! He’s probably mulling over offers as we speak– it’s a perfect time for sex-tape buyers to ruin Britney’s legit steps forward.

Adnan confirmed that “There is such a tape,” but he stated that he “wouldn’t discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries.” Interestingly, he added that “I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney.” Just the sex, then? K.

Keep in mind that this sex tape won’t be of Britney in her revamped shape. She’ll be in her full-swing crazy mode, her bod won’t be fit post-Bally’s and dancing, and you’ll have to look at Adnan’s landing-strip facial hair (see here) to boot. I’m just throwing it out there as a reminder, if “for some reason” you end up seeing it.

Pete Doherty is the worst ex-flame ever, even more so than John Mayer. While John’s flapping his trap all over town, Pete’s planning on debuting a “tell-all biography home video” at an Austrian adult theatre in Gaz. According to a friend who’s already seen the vid, “Some of it is very revealing.”

The grunge factor in combination with sexual factoids about Kate Moss and Amy Winehouse has got to be riveting, in the whole so-terrible-I-can’t-stop-watching way.

Image: WireImage

I kept reading that Jessica Simpson was ruling the country world with her new album, but since there’s news of otherwise today, the whispers of a sex tape aren’t that surprising. In fact, it’s downright formulaic in our world. Digital Spy clued us in:

[...] the home movie, which features popstar and actress Simpson engaging in a number of sex acts with her ex-husband Nick Lachey, has been acquired by the same people who released Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee’s holiday sex video.

The tape will reportedly be distributed online unless Simpson pays an undisclosed fee to keep it out of the public domain.

I bet she just giggles the whole way through. I say “mute” and you’re good to go if this thing really does show up.

It turns out that surprisingly tough-and-lucky Verne starred in another film that he wanted to keep under wraps– sorry to ruin your day, but the Verne Troyer sex tape is too painful to keep to myself!

According to current reports, the tape was taken by a third party and sold to porn broker Kevin Blatt, who was behind Hilton’s One Night in Paris, for $100,000. TMZ posted a clip yesterday, and now Verne’s demanding $20 million in a lawsuit against TMZ filed in downtown Los Angeles. Troyer claims that TMZ has violated his privacy rights and right to publicity, committed copyright and trademark infringement, and misappropriated his name and likeness.

Still seems like good publicity to me, especially considering that The Love Guru is tanking right now. Gross as it is, we’re all talking about it.