While everyone was getting het up about the effects of gay marriage on culture, someone went ahead and put boobies on the lights.

Heh. Heh, Heh. is a post from: The Inquisitr

What percentage are your tits up?

[reddit via TDW]

This is why we love Spring is a post from: The Inquisitr

Sheyla Hershey, the model who once was crowned as having the world’s largest augmented breasts at a reported size of 51KKK, is in a coma following a second suicide attempt due to depression related to the loss of her breast implants.

Hershey, 31, suffered a staph infection following breast surgery last summer. She was set to have surgery to replace the implants this week, but her husband says he does not know when she will come out of the coma. Following her last suicide attempt, she commented on the depression she’d suffered after the removal of her implants:

“Once I reclaim my identity as the World’s Biggest Boobs I can be a better role model for my daughter.

“I feel so ugly without my breasts. Without them, I don’t know who I am.”

Hershey, a native of Brazil, has undergone 30 cosmetic procedures. In addition to breast augmentations, she has also gone under the knife for rhinoplasty and liposuction.

Former ‘biggest breasts’ model Sheyla Hershey recovering after second suicide attempt is a post from: The Inquisitr

Instances of admonishments to “get the f*ck out” not measured.

[GraphJam]

[Graph] Relative male interest in breasts, by age is a post from: The Inquisitr

This is like the giggity version of the eight foot bitchslap.

[Failbook]

Epic second basing is epic is a post from: The Inquisitr

“The first academic research project into lap dancing” has wrapped, and it seems to indicate that the popular trope of an options-less stripper who must take her clothes off to Motley Crue or starve may not be all that representative of real life- at least, for about a quarter of “exotic dancers.”

The study, conducted at the University of Leeds, involved dancers from the UK. 87% of the women involved reported having completed “further education,” while 25% of the women held undergraduate degrees. And when the reasons that spurred women into choosing to work as a stripper were examined, the results were as such:

Aspiring actresses, models and artists used exotic dancing as a career strategy which fitted alongside their other work, training or studies.

Unemployed new graduates – mainly with arts degrees – were also dancing because they could not find graduate jobs and found that lap dancing paid much better than bar work.

Salaries averaged between $37,000-$76,000 (£24,000-£48,000) per year, and 76.4% of participants reported being “happy or very happy” in their jobs. One author of the study, Dr. Teela Sanders, says that one of the main drawbacks for participants was remaining in the field for longer than is optimal because the income level was too high to turn down:

“These women are incredibly body confident. I think there is something of a generational cultural difference. These young women do not buy the line that they are being exploited, because they are the ones making the money out of a three-minute dance and a bit of a chat. You have got to have a certain way about you to do it. They say 80 per cent of the job is talking. These women do work hard for their money – you don’t just turn up and wiggle your bum.

“But there is an issue about whether these women become trapped in the job because of the money. I think people often stay longer than they want.”

You can read a bit more about the study’s results here, and there’s a handy infographic here.

[via Fark]

Chris Rock was wrong, it turns out there ‘are’ clear heels in Biology is a post from: The Inquisitr

A Florida woman says she plans to sue Tavares, Florida after the city arrested her for refusing to provide her name to law enforcement officers for a “database,” even though the woman was not under arrest at the time of the refusal.

36-year-old Janet Lovett was visiting Splash Park with her son in April when the incident occurred. Lovett’s t-shirt became wet while she was playing with her seven-year-old son, and other parents complained that her attire was offensive. Lovett covered her soaked t-shirt with a towel, but a local police officer demanded her full name as she left the park. According to both police and Lovett, the information was required for a database. But her lawyer questions:

“What kind of database would they put her in? A database for wet T-shirt wearers?” Marks asked. “She wasn’t there to cause trouble…They’re either absolutely incompetent or they don’t know the law.”

Lovett refused to supply her name to Cpl. Tammy Bozadjian, and was arrested:

“The defendant [Lovett] became upset and would not provide her information,” Bozadjian wrote in the incident report. “I again explained that the information was only for the data base. She again refused to provide the information, stating that she needed to speak with her husband first. I then informed the defendant that if she refused to provide her information that she would be placed under arrest.”

Lovett’s lawyer also openly speculated that his client was targeted because she is a (legal) immigrant. She plans to sue the city in which she was arrested and held for five hours for “malicious prosecution, false arrest, battery and violation of her civil rights.”

[Orlando Sentinel via Fark]

Florida mom to sue for wet t-shirt waterpark arrest is a post from: The Inquisitr

Having to pass through Jersey to go anywhere south of Manhattan, I have to say at least it wasn’t another stupid tollbooth.

A 23-year-old woman was arrested last week for horizontally parking her car across the Garden State Parkway, and then getting out and flashing passing motorists. State Police say Arika Felder, of Plainfield, obstructed the three northbound lanes ahead of exit 109 on the GSP at around 6pm on Tuesday, and began exposing herself to other cars. When approached by a State Trooper at the location near mile marker 109.5, Felder fled and hopped back into her car.

But she didn’t go quietly:

The trooper, whose name was unavailable, approached the open door of the driver’s side of her car and attempted to stop Felder, who hit the accelerator, dragging the trooper 20 yards before crashing into a concrete barrier on the left shoulder at mile marker 111.5, police said.

Both parties were taken to Riverview Medical Center in Red Bank. The cop was treated for minor injuries and released, and Felder, who was not injured, was held for evaluation. She was later arrested for eluding and resisting arrest, and aggravated assault on a police trooper. Bail was set at $15K pending the results of the woman’s psychiatric evaluation, and she was committed to a facility in Trenton.

[Image]

Jersey woman blocks GSP, flashes fellow motorists is a post from: The Inquisitr

A novelty bra has captured the attention of the internet, because it not only enhances a woman’s natural curves, but it’s filled with booze.

The site shiling the item is quick to point out that it’s not meant as seriously supportive lingerie, but allows the wearer to enjoy a the drink of her choice in a variety of venues:

Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash! With simple blow into the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.

Of course, anyone using it will be drinking body temperature alcoholic beverages from a giant, attached to someone straw, which is kind of squicky. The site says the bra is “optimized for smaller cup sizes,” and that it holds up to 25 ounces of fluid. While the site touts the item as “better than a boob job, and cheaper too,” you can’t drink up a boob job while at a barbeque. The item is marked at $39, on sale for $29.

New “Wine Rack” bra boosts boobage, comes with straw is a post from: The Inquisitr

You may have gotten some Facebook invites for an event today called “Boobquake,” but the massive Facebook protest seems to have fallen on an unfortunate date.

When an Iranian cleric was quoted last week as saying earthquakes were related to the immodesty of women, an young woman created the group to dispel his theory. The cleric said:

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader.

So student Jen McCreight created the Boobquake Facebook group. She explains:

I have a modest proposal. Sedighi claims that not dressing modestly causes earthquakes. If so, we should be able to test this claim scientifically. You all remember the homeopathy overdose?

Time for a [sic] Boobqauke. On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts… So, who’s with me? I may be a D cup, but that will probably only produce a slight tremor on its own. If you’ll be joining me on twitter, use the tag #boobquake!

Nearly 300,000 Facebook users RSVP’d to the event. And in a coincidence that may leave modesty-huggers giggling at Boobquake participants, a 6.5 magnitude earthquake hit Taiwan today. Coincidence? Probably. McCreight opines on her blog that the Taiwan earthquake, in which no one was injured or killed, was “not statistically significant.”

[Image: Facebook Boobquake Page]

Bad timing: 6.5 magnitude earthquake hits Taiwan for Boobquake 2010 is a post from: The Inquisitr

Kate Hudson has always openly acknowledged her tiny breasts.

“I have small breasts, obviously,” Kate Hudson proudly proclaimed at the 2002 Golden Globes. “It’s nice to be able to wear a plunging neckline and have it be elegant.”

The willowy actress has a slight frame, and has previously chosen outfits that show off her gamine figure. But now US magazine is speculating that Hudson, daughter of Goldie Hawn, has left the itty bitty titty committee after she was photographed poolside in Miami sporting slightly larger breasts.

Going by the picture, if Hudson had work done, it was slight and subtle. They’re certainly not like Heidi Montag’s giant plastic monstrosities, and I’ve seen smaller-breasted friends get the same result with properly fitted wonderbras and “chicken cutlets.”

US quoted an unnamed source about the possibility that Hudson had her tatas enhanced:

Explains another source, “Kate makes jokes about her boobs, but her chest has always been one of her biggest insecurities.”

US also contacted Hudson’s rep, who declined to comment on the boob situation.

Pic: Kate Hudson’s new boobs? is a post from: The Inquisitr

Smack-talking Knocked Up actress Katherine Heigl suffered an embarrassing moment on stage at the ShoWest awards when the strap of her dress mutinied and one of her breasts tried to escape.

In the video below, you can see Heigl’s mortifying moment as she suffered what is now known as a “wardrobe malfunction.” Heigl turned to host Billy Bush to request assistance with the wayward frock.

Video: Katherine Heigl’s breast escapes onstage is a post from: The Inquisitr

While the result was unintended and certainly not comical for this poor woman, it’s difficult not to picture a boob-crazed surgeon responding like, “you didn’t want four breasts? Should I not have done that?”

47-year-old Maria Alaimo of Staten Island is suing her surgeon, Dr. Keith Berman, for complications including “painful ‘double bubble’ deformities” following a breast augmentation. For an alarmingly low $2,999 plus a $500 “referral fee” in 2003 (less than half of the region’s market rate for breast implant surgery) Alaimo received the procedure she claims has ruined her life:

“(Her breasts) appear flattened on the bottom with severe swells the size of a softball on top.” In court documents, Alaimo claims those disfigurements caused “pain … disability, loss of self-esteem, humiliation and embarrassment.”

Alaimo also claims that the allegedly botched surgery ultimately lead to her divorce, citing intimacy issues following the procedure. Alaimo is suing for $5 million, but an attorney for the doctor says that “there are no guarantees” in plastic surgery:

The doctor’s attorney, Jerry Giardina, said Alaimo should have been more aware of the risks of plastic surgery before she went under the knife. “Plastic surgery is trivialized, but the reality is that plastic surgery is just that—surgery. There are no guarantees. What one person responds to, another does not.”

[Gothamist via Consumerist]

NYC woman sues plastic surgeon for implants resulting in four breasts is a post from: The Inquisitr

Perhaps you’ve caught replays of the original Showgirls (I cannot believe I just typed that phrase, “the original Showgirls“) on VH1, because apparently no one saw it in the theaters.

In the years since it tanked spectacularly, arguably taking Elizabeth Berkeley’s career into the fiery depths of cinema hell with it, the movie has become a bit of a “so bad it’s good” cult thing- like something you watch at 3:30 in the morning when you’re too drunk to safely make it to the remote and because there’s boobs. And it has Kyle McLachlan, before he started playing neutered men on lady-shows. So there’s that.

Apparently (and I really, really would be surprised if this wasn’t a lame stab at humor) there’s a sequel to Showgirls. No, really, I’m not even kidding. There’s a website, and a full screen trailer, and the absolute most amazingly worst acting and general other movie stuff I’ve ever seen in the history of ever. This makes Boondock Saints look like Schindler’s List, and Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day look like a speech by Winston Churchhill.

The trailer (and I use that word loosely, it actually seems to be a bunch of random three second clips, and is highly NSFW) is below, but you really should get the full-screen experience by going to Showgirls2.com.

Video: Showgirls 2 trailer transcends “so bad it’s good,” achieves “so bad there should be felony charges” is a post from: The Inquisitr

While any one with an iPhone regardless of age or sensibility can access the most hardcore of porn via the internet, Apple has been notoriously draconian when it comes to optimizing smut for the iPhone and iPod touch.

“But…” you may object, “the internet is for porn! And devices designed to present the internet to us in other ways should embrace and nourish this natural partnership!” Many would agree. And while there are apps to get you off and apps to tell you just how drunk you can drive, bikini apps have remained a sticking point for Apple when it comes to its precious App Store. Apple sticks to its guns in protecting “the children,” who probably make up a very small share of regular iPhone users.

Philip Schiller, a marketing rep for Apple, spoke to the New York Times about the decision.

“It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see,” Mr. Schiller said.

More frustrating than Apple telling us what we can and cannot see on the devices we pay monthly to use, however, is the double standard when dealing with independent companies who may have invested a lot to bring an app to market versus well known, moneyed companies with iPhone apps. Two popular apps by Playboy and Sports Illustrated show the same content featured in many suddenly banned apps, the key difference being those companies are owned by rich people with swimming pools full of money:

When asked about the Sports Illustrated app, Mr. Schiller said Apple took the source and intent of an app into consideration. “The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format,” he said.

Hopefully Apple will eventually realize that it is not their place to dictate what you can and cannot do with your iPhone once you bend over and pay them for it, and continue to pay hefty data charges monthly to keep the damn thing running. As a parent myself, I would never expect a massive company to decide what my child can or cannot see, nor do I feel that the world should quit turning until my son is old enough to look at a set of tits on an iPod touch screen. I’ve handled the issue of objectionable content by monitoring what I allow my children to be exposed to and not allowing them unfettered access to the internet or the Disney channel. Parents who believe that this kind of global childproofing is acceptable need to be set straight and quickly, before the future of mobile smut is compromised.

The introduction of a parental control setting could head this entire controversy off at the pass. Or, we could all poke our eyes out with sticks so we don’t see bikini covered boobs on the iPhone. Which option sounds better to you, Apple?

Apple clarifies App Store censorship, only indie boobs apps are banned is a post from: The Inquisitr

Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday, National Pancake Day, Packzi Day or Fastnacht Day?

Depending on your cultural flavor, all are names for the day before Ash Wednesday, when Catholics make motions in the direction of fasting or giving up something for Lent but never actually get around to that part. Google searches are way up for pancakes and packzi, a polish donut of some sort. (In fact, one of the most prolific searches today is for packzi calorie counts, which is totally doing it wrong.) Catholic school alumni like myself may recall today being the only day sweets were allowed in Sister Anthony Therese’s classroom.

New Orleans, a traditionally Catholic city, without argument owns this holiday. What started as a day preparing one for a fast and reflection somehow morphed into the exchange of beads for boobies, and street parties of epic proportions. (New Orleanians are also associated with King Cakes, a tradition wherein the person whose slice contains a trinket has to provide the next cake, which kind of sucks.)

While a lot of the internet seems to be under the impression IHOP is giving out free pancakes today, that doesn’t actually occur until February 23rd. IHOP has full details of the pancake giveaway on their website, but a week from today (February 23rd is also a Tuesday) the pancake chain is giving away a free short stack of pancakes to all customers from 7am until 10pm.

If you’re missing the party down in New Orleans and sad about your pancake jones, you can watch live streaming video of Mardi Gras here. (There might be boobs.) Still not feeling authentically debauched? It’s not too early in the afternoon to whip up a batch of Emeril Lagasse’s Hurricanes. (Somewhat surprised they haven’t renamed those, considering.)

Ingredients

12 ounces light rum
12 ounces dark rum
10 ounces grenadine, or passion fruit syrup
10 ounces fresh orange juice
10 ounces sour mix, or fresh lime juice
3 tablespoons superfine sugar, or more to taste
1 large orange, cut into 1/4-inch thick slices

Directions

Mix all the ingredients in a tall pitcher or large pot and stir to dissolve the sugar. Pour into a punch bowl and add the ice cubes and orange segments. Serve in tall glasses over ice with straws.

Watch a live stream of the Mardi Gras festivities in New Orleans is a post from: The Inquisitr

Bonus: the picture appears to show two women. Giggity.

[via Gizmodo]

How to get your boyfriend off his gaming console is a post from: The Inquisitr

Getting anonymously groped often results in the groper feeling all happy about it and the gropee generally not finding out whose wandering hands got all up in their business.

However, those overpriced memorabilia shots snapped while the ride is generally at its most adrenaline-y point may have finally done some good. Christina Esquivel was on Disney’s Tower of Terror ride at the Anaheim park with her 12-year-old daughter- if you’re familiar with the attraction, it’s based on old Twilight Zone episodes and simulates a plunging elevator in an old hotel. Esquivel says that when the ride became dark, a man grabbed one of her breasts.

When disembarking from the ride, Esquivel managed to snag a picture of the post-groping moment from the souvenir kiosk. The picture seems to depict a man either reaching to grab or pulling away from the woman’s boobage. Busted. Esquivel’s 12-year-old daughter says the men were creepy throughout, and that she even pointed out her mother’s engagement ring to deter the cretins. (The groper’s companion allegedly cheered his pal on in his gropiness.) Esquival hopes the man will be found and made to answer for the random sexual assault- she says the experience left her feeling “violated.”

In a statement, Disney officials say they are taking the matter seriously:

“We take this seriously and have no tolerance for this type of behavior. We are working with the Anaheim Police Department on the next steps.”

Woman alleges groping on Disney ride, souvenir pic shows gropage is a post from: The Inquisitr

Sadly, it’s not a search result by accident- it’s the name of a book by Vanessa Feltz. (Yes, the book is actually titled What Are These Strawberries Doing on My Nipples, I Need Them for the Fruit Salad.)

Still a funny surprise for Googlers this side of the pond.

Google answers your burning questions is a post from: The Inquisitr

Warning: boobies.

WJLA in Washington set off a bit of controversy in a segment yesterday by showing nipples in their entirety on broadcast tee-vee. In the horrifying, seedy context of a breast self-exam. Video below shows the shocking and perverse video, wherein a 28-year-old woman (apparently lacking breasts) shows viewers how to perform a breast self-exam to raise awareness of breast cancer in the final few days of breast cancer awareness month.

WJLA admits that Americans may not yet be ready for breast self exams on TV, but that the content (boobs?) of the clip was valuable. You can watch the clip below, but if you have small children in the house or in adjacent homes, you may want to sedate them or send them to stay with grandparents before viewing.

[via Townhall]

(Video) Everybody panic: “Uncensored” breast exam airs on WJLA is a post from: The Inquisitr