Even as a kid I can’t see of a situation where you would want one or the other interchangeably.

[epicponyz]

Choking hazard, 25 cents is a post from: The Inquisitr

F1 2010 maker Codemasters has had it up to here with people pirating its games. What can it do to combat it? Company CEO Rod Cousens has an idea! And it’s terrible!: release only half a game, and sell the rest as downloadable content later on. Groan.

While I shall always unconditionally love Codemasters for giving me Micro Machines, I’m guessing Cousens thought this through for all of four seconds, tops. Here he is peddling his nonsense to GamesIndustry.biz:

“It’s not inconceivable to say that we send out a Formula One game that’s not complete – maybe it’s got six tracks. Then [players] have to buy their next track, and you follow it around the world. When you turn up in Abu Dhabi you have to pay for the circuit, and whatever the changes are to the cars that are put through. That, I think, would deal with a lot of it, and also address the pre-owned issue.”

Rod seems to forget that (a) not everybody has their console connected to the Internet, (b) you’d be punishing gamers who just want to pay for and play a full damn game, (c) people have every lawful right to sell on games they have already shelled out for, and (d) greedy retailers would be delighted to fleece gamers by selling half a game for full price.

Apart from that, ZOMG GREAT IDEA ROD.

[Via GamesIndustry.biz]

Latest crappy solution for game piracy: buy half a game, pay for second half later is a post from: The Inquisitr

Mario Kart as a videogame is brilliant. But the board game? Ehhh …

Yes, there’s a Mario Kart board game. Or rather there will be. Japanese company Epoch showed off two new board games at the Tokyo Toy Show 2010 earlier this week: one for Super Mario Bros., and one for Mario Kart. These will be out later this year.

Mario Kart (the board game) is a 2-player game that bears as much resemblance to Nintendo’s classic racer as I do to Robert Pattinson. The basic gist: move a ball forward through a little Mario Kart circuit by mashing buttons and arrive at the checkered flag first to win. Surprise surprise, it looks as good as it sounds:

See also: [VIDEO] Mario Kart: The Movie races into my heart

[YouTube, via Akihibara News]

[VIDEO] Confirmed: Mario Kart would suck as a board game is a post from: The Inquisitr

User-submitted reviews: they’ve been on the Internet for years, and now bricks-and-mortar retailers are finally catching up.

Kmart has announced plans to position snippets of videogame reviews posted on the MyKmart community site on store shelves, right in front of the games. The example in the picture above is from one such review for Red Dead Redemption.

Great idea, right? WRONG. While I’m all for the democratization of information/consumer power/blah blah blah as much as the next fellow, 95% of user-submitted reviews are rubbish, biased, inaccurate, or all three. Okay, so Kmart can filter out inaccuracies, but let’s put it another way: can you trust Kmart will place negative reviews on its shelves?

Like them or loathe them, professional critics are professional critics for a reason: in most cases, they know their stuff, and the majority are more qualified to expertly assess a game/film/piece of music/whatever.

Kmart’s new practice cuts out the people with the knowledge and instead turns to the general public to dish out advice. As Science has proven that 92% of the general public are drooling mongloids, this does not fill me with hope.

I realise that must sound pompous, and it’s not to say that critics are always correct, or that Joe Bloggs on the street doesn’t have a valid opinion. But if I’m going to lay down $50 on a game, I’ll generally listen to somebody whose opinion I can respect and perhaps relate to.

[Kmart, via Wired]

Ugh: Kmart introducing user-submitted game reviews in stores is a post from: The Inquisitr

The new professional networking site Unvarnished was a pretty big topic of discussion yesterday after people balked at its strange marriage of concepts- kind of like LinkedIn meets /b/ on 4chan.

When the site comes out of beta, you or anyone who’s ever met or heard of you can set up a profile for you on Unvarnished, and then the anonymous “feedback” cycle begins. With jobs scarce in this economic climate, the idea of workplace (or general) grudges being aired unedited and in a place where you’re powerless to remove inaccurate and harmful information has people predictably pissed. The site got a pretty much internet-wide panning over the past week or so, but they don’t appear to be taking it lying down.

I don’t know that it counts as irony per se, but the the site that’s trying to sell itself on the value of honest feedback engaging in not exactly honest feedback to drive their point home is somewhat amusing. One blogger who posted his not so positive feelings on Unvarnished spotted an interesting pattern in comments first on his own post, and then on similar posts about Unvarnished:

Unvarnished’s co-founder, Peter Kazanjy, left a comment on my post, which was shortly thereafter followed by an interesting comment from a fellow going by the name of “Mike.”

The comment looked a little bit suspicious to me… A little digging online appeared to confirm that Peter had a relative named Mike, so I figured one plus one probably equals two.

My suspicions were confirmed after Mike Kazanjy, Peter’s brother, responded to me, apologizing for his “use of anonymous response earlier” but chastising me for spreading “inflammatory and baseless criticisms”. It’s worth pointing out that Mike did not use our anonymous response functionality, which is available to registered users; he simply didn’t provide his last name.

It would appear that Mike was a busy boy that morning, commenting all over the web about how he’d love a service like Unvarnished to help with recruiting:

On TECH.BLORGE.COM, a “Mike“ chimes in to set the record straight about Unvarnished. He claims to be “a participant in the private beta.” There are defensive comments from a “Mike” on Marketing Pilgrim and TechStartups.com too, and a quick survey of the comments left on TechCrunch’s Unvarnished post reveals that people named “Mike” seem far more likely to support what Unvarnished is doing than those who don’t go by “Mike“.

…When faced with the evidence, Mike Kazanjy has confirmed that at least some of these comments were indeed written by him. The excuse: he failed to reveal his last name and relationship to the company because he wanted to avoid “personal attacks and threats“. An especially revealing excuse given that Unvarnished — the service Mike so staunchly defends — doesn’t provide individuals any ability to protect their profiles from the same sort of abuse.

The bolding is Patricio’s, but it raises an excellent point. Most tech blogs that reviewed the idea didn’t feel that a service like Unvarnished would be particularly useful and seems like it would be more harmful than helpful. Based on the commenting habits of those linked to (and trying to sell) Unvarnished, it would appear that they are pretty much in agreement. Or, as Patricio helpfully summarizes:

Unvarnished talks a good game, but at the end of the day, the people behind it are willing to engage in precisely the type of behavior they say Unvarnished’s users won’t.

Unvarnished astroturfs blog comments after pretty much everyone hates on it is a post from: The Inquisitr

You’ve probably heard some of the steadily increasing buzz about the new professional networking site Unvarnished, a site Gawker says aims to “cross the anonymous pompous idiocy of Yelp with the overserious ‘professional’ism of LinkedIn.”

People are freaking out about it, understandably, though the site is still in closed beta. The alarm comes essentially from the fact that- well, have you never crossed a person or had a co-worker that just hated you for no real reason? Have you never escaped a round of firings with some very displeased colleagues getting the ax instead? While the people behind Unvarnished describe it rather innocuously, the idea has some rather unpleasant attributes you can’t ignore.

For instance, you don’t create your own profile- anybody can do it. That boss who really didn’t take it well when you jumped at another job offer? They can start up your profile for you, and it probably won’t be flattering. Ditto for that chick that was passed over so you could get a promotion. Or that guy in accounting who asked you for a date you weren’t interested in. Essentially, any manner of in or out of workplace grievances can be aired in a few nebulously damning sentences on Unvarnished.

When the unfair and inevitable undeserved bad reviews do appear, you can’t get rid of them either. They’re anonymous, and all you can do is respond to what’s been said about you. You can also encourage a friend or favorable co-worker to get in and defend you, which doesn’t seem like it would help very much once the bad stuff is out there. Although Gawker hopes that if we all ignore it, it will go away, that’s cold comfort when you know a buzzed about site is hosting a claim that you never refill the coffee pot, have poor attention to detail or tend to continually run five minutes late. (Even if you make that up by always staying an extra thirty.) (Edit: CNet has some interesting commentary after speaking to one of the founders, Peter Kazanjy.)

Do you plan to “claim” your Unvarnished profile if it appears? Is this going to take off and help the hiring process, or is it career ruination and lawsuit potential in a neat Web 2.0 package?

Unvarnished: bad networking idea or the worst networking idea ever? is a post from: The Inquisitr

The family of Jennifer Strange, the Rancho Cardova, CA woman who died after consuming massive quantities of water in an ill-conceived radio station contest, has been awarded $$16,577,118 in damages.

Strange, 27, attempted to win a Wii gaming console for her three young children in KDND 107.9 “The End” radio station’s “Hold Your Wee for a Wii” contest. Strange, who came in second place and complained of stomach and headaches toward the end of the stunt, was found dead in her home by her mother hours after she returned home. At one point during the contest, a nurse called in to warn show hosts of the risk of death by water intoxication, but staff laughed off the concerns and referred to waivers signed by contestants- despite the well-known risk of death from “water poisoning.”

A jury found Entercom Communications to be negligent in death of Strange, and that the radio station ignored several indicators that the contest was ill-advised and potentially lethal.

[Baltimore Sun]

$16 million award in CA “Wee for Wii” water intoxication death is a post from: The Inquisitr

A 40-year-old Long Island social worker is accused of using Craigslist’s adult section to mete out vengeance in a dispute between 4th graders.

Hauppauge mother Margery Tannenbaum is facing charges of aggravated harassment and endangering the welfare of a child after posting a salicious ad on the site known for its naughty “casual encounters” hookup sections. Tannenbaum posted an ad with the email “lacethong23@yahoo.com” along with the 9-year-old girl’s real name and phone number. The victim’s mother reports than men called in response to the ad, asking for the little girl.

Tannenbaum’s daughter attends the same Smithtown elementary school as the girl, and Tannenbaum was class parent for both girls last year. In light of the charges, which indicate seriously impaired judgment, the Suffolk County DA is asking the state to review Tannenbaum’s license to practice social work. Tannenbaum maintains her innocence in the case, and her lawyer commented to press:

“She’s a good mother, she’s never been in any trouble before, she takes good care of her kids,” he told CBS 2. ”I’m defending her to the fullest, she maintains her innocence.”

Long Island mom uses Craigslist to retaliate against 9-year-old is a post from: The Inquisitr

Vagina mints- why has no one thought of this before?

Because it’s a horrifying, off-putting and misogynist idea, that’s why. The new “novelty” feminine mints (feminine being a euphemism for the part of the female anatomy that dare not speak its name, see video below) called Linger and priced at $7.99 a tin are a whole bowl of wrong for so many reasons- here are the first four.

Reason #1: The backstory. A nameless woman, who I assume is supposed to be the entrepreneur behind the concept of vaginal mints, tells the soft-core story of the first man who slipped her some cootch candy:

On a first time trip into the heart of India, I fell instantly for a soft spoken, aristocratic man. He was tall, built, and well dressed.  His voice was deep and husky, his eyes dark and intense, his skin the color of caramel…

(Fade to black…)

I was caught off guard when he kissed me deeply tasting of sweet mint… delicious!  He looked into my eyes then and said softly, “Now, let me Linger!”  That was the beginning of a long-lasting love affair. When I returned to the States, I brought the tingly sweet tasting sex mint with me. It’s been shared with friends and (believe it or not) family. It’s been shown to and discussed with our physicians. Now, this Internal Feminine Flavoring has been recreated to be shared so your lover can Linger with you!

Sadly for womankind, the skipped over bit does not include the woman asking incredulously “did you just put a mint… in my vagina?!?” before beating the man unconscious with her shoe, caramel colored aristocrat or not. But wrong keeps coming.

Reason #2: The website, in general. Bad web design, “brought to you by GoDaddy!,” is off-putting enough when they’re not shilling “internal feminine flavoring.” I wouldn’t trust the entities behind this site to sell me… well, anything more innocuous than crotch mints. In addition to looking like it was strung together in Front Page circa early-2000, there are bonus points for charity-appropriateness fail:

Reason #3: Sweeteners + vagina= infection. If you’re worried about getting visitors down south, as it were, a yeast infection doesn’t add to your hospitality down there.

Reason #4: As MotherJones points out, they’re just regular trade show mints, repackaged and repriced for your filthy, unminty hoo-ha. Although the subtext of the site is clear (Linger is designed for slow release-extending the time your partner will want to spend tasting the new you- translation: your vagina is gross!) I would counsel any woman who considers minting her delicate bits to please a man to consider the alternative. Chances are, if you’re that hygiene conscious, you’re already not-disgusting enough to mate with. Remember, like a liberal coating of Axe Body Spray, a mint can only cover, not clean what’s there. And if your partner complains about foreplay anyway, you can always lock them out without their pants and get a vibrator. More expensive, sure, but worth it for the lack of minty vagina stinging.

[Via Consumerist]

Just say no to lady garden mints is a post from: The Inquisitr

I thought perhaps I was the only one who found this commercial to be in horrendous taste, but apparently Gawker did, too.

David Spade, whose buddy films and general camaraderie with SNL castmate Chris Farley arguably carried the show through the mid to late 90s, doesn’t seem to be doing much these days. But he still has time to trot out the memory of Farley in a really sad and creepy way in a DirecTV commercial. Spade does a bit interspliced with Farley’s “fat guy in a little coat” performance in Tommy Boy. I caught this spot during last night’s Yankees game and was really, really surprised that it was allowed to happen. It even seemed crass to hear Spade refer to Farley as “tons of fun,” insulting a dead man out of the context of the film from over a decade ago.

Granted, the Spade/Farley stuff from the 90s hasn’t aged well, but it cracked me up when the two dominated SNL and this commercial definitely sours future watchings of Tommy Boy for me. Sad. (And shameless.)

David Spade sells out dead buddy Chris Farley shilling DirecTV is a post from: The Inquisitr

News Corp Deputy Chairman Chase Carey told press that the service won’t be free anymore starting as soon as 2010. (That’s in two months, people!)

Carey told reporters that Hulu was likely to become a subscription service, although it’s not clear how the video-streaming site plans to lure users who have been using it for free all along. Over on Twitter, many irritated fans say they would consider paying for the service if ads were cut, but I’d think such a significant change would have been worth a mention by Carey when he broke the news to reporters. Carey merely said:

“I think a free model is a very difficult way to capture the value of our content. I think what we need to do is deliver that content to consumers in a way where they will appreciate the value.”

Of course, as Hulu has been a “free model” all along, it seems like a tough row to hoe trying to charge for it now. If the only additional access in this scenario is between Hulu and your wallet, customers are likely to just get their content through other means. However, going by other companies who’ve decided to charge for content suddenly with no added benefit (such as Newsday hallucinating that people will pay $20 a month to read about pumpkin picking and car wrecks on Long Island), it’s not that much of a stretch to believe that Hulu is suffering from the same delusions of grandeur. Which is a shame, because everyone I know who uses Hulu regularly adores it.

Everyone, blow kisses and say goodnight to free Hulu! is a post from: The Inquisitr

Were you getting excited about the new episodes of Futurama we’re finally getting?

Not so fast. 20th Century Fox thinks all the fangirls and fanboys can interface with their asses by biting them and they’re looking to recast pretty damn much every single voice actor on the show. In a statement, 20th Century Fox said:

“We love the Futurama voice performers and absolutely wanted to use them, but unfortunately, we could not meet their salary demands. While replacing these talented actors will be difficult, the show must go on. We are confident that we will find terrific new performers to give voice to Matt and David’s brilliantly subversive characters.”

The call sheet that’s been spreading across the internet seeks to replace John DiMaggio, Phil LaMarr, Katy Segal and Maurice LaMarche, meaning that among other characters Fry, Leela and Bender will all be newly voiced. DO NOT WANT, 20th Century Fox.

This move seems especially poor considering it was fan geekdom alone that resurrected the show in the first place. The kind of people who watch Futurama are the kind that will not take new voices well and dude, it’s risky enough to resurrect a show that’s so loved and so long off the air. Is it just me, or is this like if they brought back Family Guy without Seth McFarlane? I mean, in fairness, the resurrection of Family Guy went pretty well. This, this does not look good. Let’s hope it’s just some form of Hollywood hardball and fans are the hostages.

Anyway, read it and weep, honey. Full text of the casting call, below. And if you’re reading this, 20th Century Fox, you may bite my glorious golden ass.

Thursday, Jul. 16, 2009, 5:54 PM Pacific

FUTURAMA
Voice Over
Episodic
1/2 hour animated comedy for Twentieth Century Fox Television
SAG

Creators Matt Groening and David X. Cohen
Casting Director: Scott Muller
Shoot/Start Date: August
Pay Rate: TBD
Location: Los Angeles

SUBMIT ELECTRONICALLY
OR
FOR SUBMISSION OF AUDIO ONLY (MP3S ON CD PLEASE) KING OF THE HILL
ATTN: SCOTT MULLER
15821 VENTURA BLVD.
ENCINO, CA
91436

VOICE AUDITIONS MAY BE SENT IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS:

1. MP3 AUDIO AUDITIONS ONLINE IN WHATEVER MEANS IS CONVENIENT FOR YOU.

2. MP3 AUDIO AUDITIONS ON CD.

3.EMAILED AS ATTACHMENTS TO: FUTURAMA@SCOTTMULLERCASTING.COM (NOTE: PLEASE USE THIS METHOD SPARINGLY, ATTACHMENTS NOT TO EXCEED 5 MB) AUDITIONS SHOULD BE SENT ASAP AS WE WILL BE MOVING QUICKLY. PRODUCER SESSIONS WILL BE HELD AT A DATE TBD.

We are starting casting immediately for Futurama, a half-hour animated comedy created by Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. Descriptions of these established characters follow, along with links to clips of previous episodes for reference.

SERIES REGULAR ROLES:

[ PHILIP J. FRY (FRY) ]
Fry, a 20th century slacker, works as a pizza delivery boy. On December 21st, 1999, he is cryogenically frozen and wakes up 1000 years in the future in the city of New New York. Through a series of events, Fry tracks down his great (x30) nephew Professor Hubert Farnsworth and lands a job at the Professors Planet Express delivery company as a delivery boy. Fry bunks with Planet Expresss beer-swilling robot, Bender. Fry is constantly trying to win the heart of Leela, the companys ship captain…SERIES REGULAR

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=164702&title=flashback-freeze (Episode 5ACV03)

[ TURANGA LEELA (LEELA) ]
Leela, a sexy Cyclops, is the captain of the Planet Express delivery ship. Leela is in charge of every company mission, having her hands full keeping Fry and Bender in line. Her early years were spent in an orphanage where she was a bit of an outcast for having one eye. She took up kickboxing and other similar sports to make up for the lack of friends. She still has problems with men and often gets jealous of Amys (her co-worker) popularity among the opposite sex. She has a soft spot for Fry but is unsure of anything further than that, due to Frys clumsy advances…SERIES REGULAR

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=162824&title=leelas-timeline (Episode 4ACV02)

[ BENDER BENDING RODRIQUEZ (BENDER) ]
Bender, a cigar-smoking, booze-guzzling, kleptomaniac robot, had a successful career in bending girders but tired to kill himself when he found out the girders were being used for suicide booths. He was saved by Fry and later took a job at Planet Express. To be able to function properly, Bender needs the chemical energy from alcohol. Excessive drinking is mandatory or he will become sober and unable to control his body. Magnets stuck to his head make him sing like a folk singer…SERIES REGULAR

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=188899&title=bender-the-drone (Episode 5ACV05)

[ PROFESSOR HUBERT FARNSWORTH (PROFESSOR) ]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth is the owner of the Planet Express delivery company, which he uses to fund his strange scientific experiments. He also lectures at Mars University on the mathematics of quantum neutrino fields (he made up the name so no one would dare take the course). He is technically 160 years old, but to avoid being picked up by the sunset squad and taken to the near death star he says he is only 150…SERIES REGULAR

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=217636&title=back-in-action (Episode 5ACV01)

[ DR. JOHN ZOIDBERG (ZOIDBERG) ]
Dr. Zoidberg, a lobster-like alien, left his home planet of Decapod 10 to become a rich doctor but instead became the Planet Express staff doctor (doesnt pay so well). Zoidberg, who is usually shunned by the rest of the Planet Express crew, is always in search of his next meal. His skill as a surgeon, and basic knowledge of human anatomy, are often called into question. He secretly desires to become a stand-up comedian…SERIES REGULAR

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=147743&title=love-lessons (Episode 2ACV05)

FUTURAMA RECURRING ROLES:

[ MOM ]
Mom is the very old, very rich, very ruthless founder of Moms Friendly Robot Company. She has three sons: Walt, Larry, and Igner, who work for the company and help Mom do her dirty work. Many years ago, Farnsworth worked for Moms Friendly Robot Company, and they had a fling, which ended when Mom kept turning Farnsworths cute inventions into mad, killing machines…RECURRING

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=147736&title=mothers-day (Episode 2ACV14)

[ ZAPP BRANNIGAN ]
Zapp Brannigan is a 25-star General of the Democratic Order of Planets and has been responsible for several successful wars including a triumph over the pacifists of the Ghandi Nebula. He is always accompanies on mission by his hapless assistant Kif Kroker. Behind all his bravado he is a wimp who is not very intelligent. He once slept with Leela, a fact hat he constantly reminds her of…RECURRING

http://www.hulu.com/watch/60311/futurama-zapp-in-the-shower (Episode 2ACV17)

[ KIF KROKER (KIF) ]
Kif Kroker is a hard working, long suffering alien Lieutenant of the DOOP who does all the hard work and takes the rap for problems usually caused by Zapp Brannigan (his superior officer). Zapp considers Kif to be his most loyal friend however, Kif in fact views Zapp as an imbecile. He is smitten with his current girlfriend Amy. He has no bones and is supported by a system of inflated bladders…RECURRING

http://www.hulu.com/watch/4471/futurama-kif-is-pregnant (Episode 4ACV01)

Good news everyone! They’re trying to ruin Futurama. is a post from: The Inquisitr